I can’t wait to attend the Brownback/Christie #KS Fundraiser! Here’s why….

I’m not sure what you are up to today, but I’m waiting by the mailbox for my invitation to….drum roll please…..

The Chris Christie fundraiser for Sam Brownback!

That’s right all my Kansas friends.  I don’t know you what you are doing on August 20th, but I’ll be putting on my pantyhose, fastening my pearls and heading out to swanky Mission Hills, KS to hobnob with Chris Christie and Sam Brownback as we all throw back a few Manhattans and sing “My Way” on the grand piano.  It’s all in the name of fundraising for Brownback’s campaign for Governor.

I mean of all the people to campaign for Brownback, Chris Christie is peerrrfffeecctt.

I’m sitting here thinking about what an amazing evening it’s going to be.  Just think…..

First up we all gather round and play “who is the bigger bully – Chris Christie or Sam Brownback?”  Chris Christie may win this one, but let’s not count Brownback out.  I mean there was the  famous Twittergate scandal of 2011 -

If you don’t remember, it involved a high school girl at a Brownback event who tweeted:

“Just made mean comments at gov. brownback and told him he sucked, in person #heblowsalot.”

http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/28/opinion/obeidallah-brownback-tweet-apology/

Brownback’s social media manager contacted the director of the Youth in Government organizer and alerted him of the tweet.  That led to an official written apology from the girl.

First – well done on the hashtag my young friend.  Second, Christie may just yell at you  to your face, but I don’t think he’s taken so far as to demand an apology letter.  Score one for Brownback on this round.

After we finish, “who is the bigger bully” we can enjoy a few more cocktails and move on to “who has the biggest scandal?”

This one will be tough for Brownback with the whole Bridgegate scandal, but don’t count Brownback out in this one.  He does has a FBI investigation:

“The Federal Bureau of Investigation is exploring whether confidantes of Gov. Sam Brownback operated influence-peddling operations in Kansas pivoting on personal access to the Republican governor and top administration officials.  The Topeka Capital-Journal learned the months-long inquiry involves Parallel Strategies, a rapidly expanding Topeka consulting and lobbying firm created in 2013 by a trio of veteran Brownback employees who left government service to work in an environment where coziness with former colleagues could pay dividends.
Unfortunately, I think Christie is going to win this round.  Bridgegate was a major mess and did kill his chances to be President.  That one trumps influence-peddling any day.
Moving on….
Finally we will end the evening with the fun game of who can blame Obama for our own mistakes.  Both states have crumbling economies from failed tax policies.  Both guys have come out vocally yelling that it’s not their fault for their states’ economic disasters, but it’s Obama’s fault.  It’s kind of like the 16-year-old who crashes his car after running a red light.  The kid blames the parents for buying him the car in the first place and takes no responsibility for running the red light.  I think that round will be tie.
Oh what fun we will have.  All this for the minimum suggested donation of $25,000.  Wait $25,000 as in thousand dollars?!  That’s more than my car is worth.   Well this is awkward, it turns out that’s my bowling league night.  I’m sad to say I’ll have to pass on the fun and games.  I’m sure I will be missed.

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Top 10 Things More Exciting Than Brownback’s News Today

Yesterday the teaser came over twitter: “Exciting news coming from @brownbackforgov tomorrow! Sign up here to be the first to know.”

What could it be?  I signed up.  I had to be first to know.  I was  giddy with anticipation.  I barely slept a wink last night thinking of all the things this news could be about.

So what in the world could be so exciting?

Was he repealing his tax cuts?

Had he finally seen the light that his “great experiment” didn’t work.

Was he going to finally promise to do right by Kansas public schools and our teachers?

I waited all day…..

And then the news finally broke mid-afternoon.

“Former Third District Congresswoman Jan Meyers endorses Republican Sam Brownback for Governor!”

http://brownback.com/former-third-district-congresswoman-jan-meyers-endorses-republican-sam-brownback-governor/

“I wanted to set the record straight on the recent announcements that some Republicans including me are not supporting Governor Brownback’s re-election,” Meyers said. “For my part, nothing could be further from the truth. I do support Sam Brownback for another term as Governor.”

(Insert slow clap)

Let me get this straight – a Congresswoman who last served 17 years ago came out in favor of Brownback and this is “exciting news”.  Now calm down Brownback supporters.  I get that it was originally reported that she supported Paul Davis.  I get that she is a moderate and Brownback is far from it.  Paul Davis recently came out saying that he had 100 Republicans supporting him.

http://online.wsj.com/articles/some-in-kansas-gop-break-with-gov-brownback-endorse-democratic-opponent-1405441534

Let’s do the math on this one shall we.  Even if Paul Davis goofed on Jan Meyers, that’s still 99 REPUBLICANS supporting a Democratic candidate.

The “exciting news” today is that one REPUBLICAN is supporting Brownback.

News flash – Brownback is a Republican.

Excuse me if I don’t jump up and down over this one.

In fact, here is my top 10 list of more exciting things that happened to me today other than hearing Brownback’s news.

10.  My lazy cat rolled over.9.  I found a penny in the parking lot.8.  My vending machine bag of potato chips was more than half full.7.  I successfully changed my ringtone to Baby Got Back.6.  I’m having a great hair day.5.  I didn’t come to a complete stop on the highway this morning in rush hour traffic.4.  I finished level 56 of Candy Crush.3.  I’m caught up on all episodes of this season of the Real Housewives of New Jersey2.  A bottle of Coke had my name on it.1.  I wrote this blog

Governor Brownback – if this is as exciting as your campaign gets – you’ve got a lot of work to do.

My sincere thank you letter to Sam Brownback

Dear Gov. Brownback,

 

My mother always taught me that when someone gives you a gift, it is always good manners to send them a thank you note.  That is why I am writing you today – to thank you.  Now you and I have never seen eye-to-eye so why would I be sending you a thank you note?  It’s all about your campaign event yesterday.

First, you had Rick Santorum at your event.  He is my favorite batshit crazy conservative hottie.  He is my go to guy to headline any conservative event.  I am guaranteed two things: 1. that he is easy on the eyes and 2. that he will say something completely stupid.  Ding! Ding!  I was correct on both for your event yesterday.

“Sam takes on the dragons. He is the warrior,” Santorum said, later adding, “He is a visionary in a state that can lead.”

Who exactly are the dragons in the scenario?  The teachers?  Maybe it’s the Kansas taxpayers?  No I’m guessing it’s the underserved people who are getting screwed now that Medicaid has gone over to Kancare.  One thing is for sure, dragons are kind of like the success of Brownback’s tax policy – a fantasy.

I also love the part where Santorum said the free world was a stake with this election.  And people say I’m dramatic.  Geez…

Moving on…

I also need to thank you for the venue that you picked.  You had your campaign rally yesterday at a used car lot.  Now I’m not the one who started jokes centered around used car lots so don’t blame me for going there.

Here is one for your entertainment:

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?

“Heavens no, we bought it.”

“Then why don’t you drive it away.”

“We can’t drive.”

“Then why did you buy it?”

“We were told that if we bought a car here we’d get screwed …so we’re just waiting.

You are welcome.  Remember to tip your waitress and try the prime rib.  Anyway, of all the places you could have had your event, you pick a used car lot?  There are so many jokes to be had here regarding the used car lot and the state of the Kansas economy.  For example…

What does the Kansas economy and Brownback’s campaign rally have in common?  They both resemble a used car lot.  See how easy that was.  Or what does a used car lot and Brownback’s tax policy have in common?  They are both full of lemons.

I could go on and on….

Anyway, thanks for the comic relief.

Finally, my favorite part of your speech was the part where you blame the Kansas City Star for your troubles.

“We’re not getting a lot of good reporting from the Kansas City Star.”

Now hang on there.  Those are my peeps over there.  I don’t think you can blame the Kansas City Star for your issues.  If  I google articles regarding your failed tax policies I get articles from:

  • Kansas City Star
  • New York Times
  • Los Angeles Times
  • Huffington Post
  • Business Week

Just to name a few.  Here’s the deal.  They wouldn’t be writing these articles unless…wait for it…your tax policies didn’t suck.  Let’s just be honest.  You gambled big. If you would have won, you would be successfully running for President on this platform.  You lost and the result was now Kansas is suffering.  You can try to spin this anyway you want, but this is of your own doing.

Anyway, can’t thank you enough for a great laugh.  I really appreciate it.  It’s not often I receive a gift as good as this.

Sincerely (and I mean that),

Aimee

Love thy neighbor, unless you are a Latin American kid in the US illegally.

Leviticus 19:18

Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the LORD.

Except if they come from Mexico or Guatemala then send them back…

It’s not every day that I open my blog post with a bible verse so you know it’s serious.  Hold on to your cowboy hat, I’ve got a rant today.

It’s no secret that we’ve got a humanitarian crisis at our nation’s southern borders.  Thousands of women and children are coming across the border illegally and now our nation is faced with a serious problem of what to do.  America now has refugee camps in places like Texas and Arizona.

Politicians are spending their time with the blame game while admittedly I don’t think anyone really knows what to do.

Here’s my beef with the whole thing.  It all centers on the Bible verse up there.  Almost every day I read about how this nation is a Christian nation founded on Christian principles.  You want gay rights?  Stop right there – it’s against Biblical principles – so much so that we need legislation against that.  You want to say Happy Holidays?  Oh no my friend.  We need Merry Christmas legislation to stop that.  You want contraception?  Not on our Christian watch.  We will fight you in court and with legislation at every turn.  You want to teach evolution in school?  Hang on there scientist.  There is a bill preventing that.  All in the name of Christianity.

We have thousands of children showing up at our border looking for a better life and what is the response?  There’s the door and don’t let it hit you on the ass on the way out of Christian America.

I know they didn’t show up here on a one way ticket in first class on United Airlines.  I get that they came here illegally.  I get that there is a “right way” to enter America.  I understand that there is a process people need to follow for citizenship.  But here’s the deal – they are here.  We need to deal with it.  If we can get action from our politicians because people want to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, you are telling me there isn’t the same type of reaction in the name of compassion for these children?

What am I missing?

“Wait Aimee – we can’t afford it.  It’s about the money!  Obama wants $3.7 billion dollars to deal with the problem.”

He wants 3.7 billion with 1.3 billion going for food and shelter for the 52,000 children.

I hate to burst your bubble deportation junkies, but deporting these kiddos isn’t free.  There is a cost associated with sending them back to the hell hole that they came from not to mention the administrative headache.

Let’s do some math shall we?

Here’s the estimated cost for deporting an immigrant:

“However, a 2010 report by Center for American Progress and Rob Paral and Associates took a close look at all the budget appropriations for ICE and broke down the costs per person for each one of the four stages of deportation process: apprehension, detention, legal proceeding and transportation. The whopping cost of deportation per person that they came up with is $23,480.”

So if we take 52,000 x $23,480

If my math is correct that equals $1,220,960,000

So Republicans, we don’t have the money Obama is requesting, but we do have $1.2 billion to deport these kids?   The Republicans are making it seem like deportation doesn’t cost anything and Obama’s plan is the only one that will end up costing taxpayers money.  Gig’s up guys.  Both ways cost money.

In the end, we need to do something.  We need to help these children.  We need to at least provide these children with food, shelter and health care.  It’s what a Christian nation would do.  Here’s what I promise for all of you Christian Conservatives, when Christmas comes around I promise we will tell these kids Merry Christmas instead of Happy Holidays.  Maybe that will get you on board.

Politicians stop the blame game.  Help these children.  It’s not about when it started, it’s about solving the crisis now.  Do something.

A Chick-Fil-A food has been hiding a secret. Maybe traditional isn’t always better.

I realized today that I’ve been doing this  for over 2 years and have written almost 300 blog posts. (Does someone know somebody so I can get an agent or a book deal already?)  All kidding aside, I do this all for free, because I really love it.  I love politics, I love current events and I really, really love to give my opinion.

Thanks again for reading.  I am amazed every day that people read this blog.

This one is one of my favorite posts of all time.

Yours in all that is funny about politics,

Aimee

July 27, 2012

To ice cream lovers around the country:

I’ve been hiding a secret. See, many people come in to Chick-Fil-A thinking by ordering an ice-cream cone they are eating ice cream. They enjoy my vanilla goodness thinking that I am the same as traditional ice-cream. I’ve been living a lie. See, the ice cream you have been eating at Chick-fil-A is not really ice cream, it’s actually Ice Dream.

That is why I am coming out today to announce to the world that I am not traditional ice cream. I am Ice Dream and yes, maybe that is also the name of a homosexual porno movie (Google it if you dare), but that is besides the point. I am proud that I am not traditional ice cream. I am no longer going to pretend to be traditional ice cream. The reason I’m different from traditional ice cream is from the way I was made. My ingredients make me different from traditional ice cream. It’s just how I was made and there is nothing I can do to change that or it wouldn’t make me who I am, a delicious treat.

I’ve been providing the customers of Chick-fil-A a thrill for decades with my smooth and creamy flavor. No one seems to mind that I am not traditional ice cream. I think this is evidence that traditional and non-traditional foods can live together inside of a Chick-Fil-A harmoniously. This is why I am calling on my owner and Chick-fil-A customers around the country to embrace me and the fact that I am not traditional ice cream and I am finally out of the closet.

I thought people would notice by my extra flamboyant flip that I do at the top of every cone. My flip isn’t a traditional end of the dispenser flip like other fast foot chains. My flip has extra charisma, a flare for the creative as one might say. I thought this would be a sign for people to know that I am not traditional ice cream. Yet, no one paid much attention, because at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter.

My owner, Dan Cathy recently provided a statement that he is in favor of biblical interpretation of traditional marriage. I think that by him serving non-traditional ice cream, maybe he can find it in his heart to change his mind. I am evidence that traditional isn’t always better. Sometimes, like my ingredients, it just comes down to how we were made.

Well, I’m glad I am now out as non-traditional ice cream. I’m proud to be Ice Dream and I’m here to stay.

Sincerely,

Ice Dream

Chick-Fil-A’s ice cream of choice

Parade float in Norfolk, NE – Racist? You may not believe my reaction.

obamaHoly parade floats Batman!  There is controversy up north in Nebraska.  Leave it to Norfolk, NE to cause a stir when during their 4th of July parade, they decided to make a political statement with this little gem.

Disclaimer – Back in the 70′s, I grew up twirling a baton in the Lenexa, Kansas 4th of July parade so these parades hold a soft spot in my heart.

For those of you not from small town, American, I can tell you most of these parades involve girl scout troops, people on tractors throwing out candy to the kids, dance troops and a few local politicians sprinkled in for good measure.  It’s usually 150 degrees in the shade and way over hyped for what it actually is.

Well, Norfolk, NE has everyone talking this Monday with this political statement.  They turned a White Trash Cadillac into the next GOP talking point with this outhouse labeled “Obama’s Presidential Library” and a dummy of Obama in the front.

The liberals have their panties in a wad over this one.  “It’s racist,” the liberal chorus all yelled out this morning.

We all know that it’s no secret I’m liberal.  That said, liberals you better close your eyes and not read any further because you aren’t going to like what I’m going to write.

Here I go…

It’s a lot of things.

It’s not appropriate for a 4th of July Parade.

It’s not respectful of our President.

But  it’s pretty funny.

And it’s not racist.

There I said it.  You can take away my liberal card if you want to, but I feel like someone has to say it.  I love funny and this is pretty funny.  It would be funnier if they misspelled “library”, but hey you can’t have everything.

I’ve been reading the comments as to why people think this is racist.

“It’s racist because slaves used to use outhouses.”

Stop right there.  New flash – everyone used to use outhouses.  That isn’t a slave thing, that is a before indoor plumbing thing.

I’m not taking anything away from all of the inappropriate, racist comments and jokes made against President Obama, but I just don’t think this is one of them.  It’s silly and juvenile, but it isn’t racist.  Hanging a dummy of Obama by a noose off of the bridge – now that is racist.  That is horrible and won’t be tolerated.    http://raycomgroup.worldnow.com/story/25670299/deputies-probe-obama-dummy-found-hanging-from-i-70-bridge

Finding the float funny doesn’t mean I’m not a liberal anymore, it just means I have a sense of humor.  Lighten up people.  There  are enough things that we can get all up tight about right now.  Try immigration, guns, contraception just to name a few.  Stop focusing on this parade in Nebraska.  Laugh a little.  Trust me it will keep you from crying at our current state of politics in this country.  I’m sure if we give it time there will be a real racist float or joke to get everyone upset soon enough.

 

 

 

 

 

Holy lady parts! Yearly pelvic exams aren’t necessary or are they?

It’s the latest segment of this week in lady parts – we’ve moved on from the Hobby Lobby decision to a new debate on the national stage.  How often should women get yearly pelvic exams?  The rule has been the minute you started having sex was first a trip to the island of stirrupkey.  You want birth control?  Not without putting your feet in those stirrups first.  The 1st rule of gynoland was no prescription without a pap smear and pelvic exam.  Need birth control to control your period and not having sex?  Didn’t matter – you were still getting a pap smear and a pelvic exam.

Pap smears for everyone.  Once a year. No exceptions. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

Today news broke that maybe a pap smear and pelvic exam every year are a little bit of overkill.

“Here’s what put the test under the microscope: Pap smears that check for cervical cancer used to be done yearly but now are recommended only every three to five years. So if women weren’t going through that test every year, did they still need the pelvic exam that traditionally accompanied it?

Pelvic exams are appropriate for women with symptoms such as vaginal discharge, abnormal bleeding, pain, urinary problems or sexual dysfunction, the ACP said. And women should get their Pap smears on schedule — but a Pap doesn’t require the extra step of a manual pelvic exam, it said.

For symptom-free women, years of medical studies show routine pelvic exams aren’t useful to screen for ovarian or other gynecologic cancers, they don’t reduce deaths, and there are other ways, such as urine tests, to detect such problems as sexually transmitted infections, the doctors’ group reported in the journal Annals of Internal Medicine.”

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/guideline-healthy-women-skip-pelvic-exam-24371758http://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/guideline-healthy-women-skip-pelvic-exam-24371758

Whatcha talking about Willis?

You mean all those pap smears and pelvic exams weren’t necessary?

Turns out they weren’t.

Now for all those men who are reading this out there – there are many things that women would rather do than get a pap smear.  Go to the dentist. Stand in line for hours at the DMV. Get our oil changed. Basically do anything other than get a pap smear.  It sucks.  It is pretty much one of the most humiliating experiences on the planet.  Think about putting your feet in stirrups spread eagle with a spotlight on your junk for a good 10 minutes.  Now we find out the whole time that it was totally unnecessary for women to be subjected to a yearly pelvic exam.  One every three to five years would have been a-ok.

Here’s a little secret.  I worked in family planning.  About five years ago I was at a medical conference and one of the doctors presented on this very thing.  The “breaking news” today isn’t new news.  It’s just new news from a new medical source.  The medical world has known that women have been receiving too many pelvic exams and pap smears for a long time.

It hasn’t change anything and I predict it won’t.  Why?

It’s simple.  It’s habit.  Pelvic exams keep women coming to the doctor.  It allows doctors to examine women for other things.  To be honest, it’s a money-maker.  Less pelvic exams means less doctor’s visits, less testing and ultimately less money in the system.  When I heard the doctor preach about too many pap smears years ago, the outrage in the audience was evident.  As I cheered him on from the sidelines, the practitioners in the audience were besides themselves.  What do you mean stop giving pap smears to anyone under 21?  What to do you mean only give pap smear to monogamous women every 3 years?  You were asking the audience to put down their speculums and step away from the table and they weren’t ready to disarm themselves in the battle against HPV.

It was as if we told a group of 4-year-old that Santa Claus wasn’t real.  They couldn’t wrap their heads around it.  No matter how much evidence based proof was provided, they weren’t buying it.  It wasn’t the way things had always been done.

I think this finding today and what I listened to five years ago is kind of like the mammogram issue – when evidence-based medicine comes to a conclusion that you don’t want then what happens?  Do we just ignore the evidence and keep going about things as normal because it’s the way we’ve always known? How much evidence has to be presented to change something?

I’m curious – for all the women readers will you demand that your doctor stop performing unnecessary pelvic exams and abide by the new guidelines?   Will you trust in evidence-based medicine or old habits?

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