Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Obama coffee salute

If you felt the world stop spinning yesterday for a moment, you were correct. Conservatives in this country had their American flag panties in a wad yesterday over a national scandal.  Was it Hillary announcing her candidacy for President?  Nope.  Was it that the government finally came for everyone’s guns?  Not even close.  What had Conservatives in an absolute freak out was Coffeegate 2014.  President Obama stepped out of his helicopter yesterday after it landed.  His hands were full, with coffee in one hand and a coat in the other.

 

He saluted the Marines with the coffee hand, and that led to the epic Conservative freakouts.  There were hundreds of angry comments on posts I read on Facebook.  In my head they all had the same voice as the woman who started the Sir-Mix-A-Lot, Baby Got Back song from the 1990s.
 
I’ll sum them all up like this,

 

Oh, my, god, Becky, look at his salute
It is so wrong, ugh, he looks like one of those disrespecting liberals
But, ugh, ya know, who understands those liberals? Ugh
They only let him get away with it because he’s the President, okay?
I mean, his salute, is just so full of Starbuck’s, ugh, I can’t believe it’s just so wrong
It’s like, wrong, I mean, ugh, gross!

 

Now listen up my Conservative pals, because we are going to take a little walk down memory lane.  It just so turns out that President Bush also had a Salutegate (yes, I’m that annoying person that enjoys putting the word “gate” at the end of every faux and real scandal – you’re welcome). Now, I’m getting older and my memory isn’t great, but I don’t recall a huge issue when Doggiegate happened then.  I don’t recall those same patriots crying foul when Bush’s dog got in the way of honoring our soldiers.  I know for a fact that I didn’t criticize Bush when he did it then, and I’m not criticizing Obama when he did it now.

 

Bush dog salute
Why?

 

Here’s the deal as we continue our history lesson – the salute is a nice thing to do, but it isn’t required of a President.  In fact, the tradition only goes back to Ronald Reagean.  So it’s not like it’s solidified in American tradition going all the way back to the founding fathers.  Now would it have been nice if Obama’s hands were free to salute appropriately?  Sure.  Should he be impeached over it?  No!  Give it a rest people.  It’s not a national scandal.  It’s not even a national blip on the radar.  It’s a non-issue.

 

Now I have no doubt, and I mean NO DOUBT, that if President Obama would have handed his coat and coffee to his wife or a staffer so he could have saluted the Marines appropriately, the same conservatives would have been bitching about today is that the President is too important to hold his own coat and coffee.  He’s just an elitist liberal too detached from the mainstream to hold his own coat and coffee.  The guy can’t win.  I seem to remember an incident not too long ago where the President had a Marine hold his umbrella and that was also a huge issue.

 

Same voice in my head from Sir-Mix-A-Lot…

 
Oh, my, god, Becky, look at his umbrella….

 

Obama Umbrella
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Dear Mr. Davis,

I was shocked and appalled when I received a copy of a press release over the weekend from Clay Barker, head of the KS Republican Party that read:chippendales

Dem governor candidate caught at strip club drug raid in 1998, 

takes no responsibility for irresponsible behavior

Mr. Davis!  A strip club drug raid?  Well I never!

Sixteen years ago you went to a strip club with your boss and had a private dance in the backroom.  During the dance, the police raided the club looking for meth that was allegedly being sold out of the club.  You were not involved in the drug investigation and were released, however Barker points out,

“Davis’ behavior – whatever he was doing to or with that woman in the ‘VIP room’ while his client was dealing meth in the bar – demonstrates  a total lack of judgment and is the kind of behavior that Kansans will find totally unacceptable in someone who wants to be governor,” said Clay Barker, executive director of the Kansas Republican Party.

I completely agree with Mr. Barker – this is UNACCEPTABLE!  Anyone who has ever gone to a strip club shows total lack of judgment and poor character.  Think about how you objectified those poor women.  I think the mere fact that you went to a strip club 16 years ago while you were single and had a lap dance means you are totally unqualified to run the state of Kansas.  That’s it – lets pull a Taylor and call this whole thing off.

Now in full disclosure, I must admit that I’ve been to a Chippendales Review a time or two.  Of course, as a woman, this is COMPLETELY different.  For one thing, its men performing not women.  Everyone knows you can’t objectify men.  Second, I went for research purposes ONLY.  I’ll admit, I was lacking in knowledge about different professions like policeman, fireman and construction worker.  After going to the Chippendales Review, I was able to learn all about firemen and what they can do with their hoses.  For one, their hoses are long and sometimes they have to drag them around with both hands.  It looked exhausting with all that sweat pouring off of them.  Then there are policemen and their night sticks.  Don’t even get me started on the handcuffs.  Last, but not least, the construction workers and their big tools. Is it getting hot in here?  Oh my….I’m getting all flustered.

Now where was I?  Oh yes!  Totally unacceptable behavior.  Mr. Barker must have read the same study that I did from BS University that found that a trip to a strip club means that you are unable to do things like manage state budgets, fund schools appropriately and bring new jobs to Kansas. 

Mr. Davis, while you consider withdrawing your name from the Governor’s race, I will continue to do my Chippendale’s research online.  I am POSITIVE there is more I need to learn about firemen.

Yours for better judgment,

Aimee

This post is dedicated to Tony’s Kansas City – for all the reasons you would expect.

Alex, I’ll take things that annoy me for $500.buh bye

What is waiting until 4:30 pm on Thursday for the Kansas Supreme Court ruling on Chad Taylor’s name coming off the ballot?

Nothing like waiting until the 11th hour there folks since the ballots are printed on Friday!  Either way WE HAVE A RULING and it’s official here in the great Sunflower state – Chad Taylor, the Democrat,  is officially off the ballot.  Woohoo!  Pop the champagne and kiss the person closest to you, it’s finally O-V-E-R.  This ridiculous power play between Kris Kobach and well…everyone else has come to an end.

The KS Supreme Court ruled that Kris Kobach overstepped his bounds when he said that Chad Taylor’s name had to be added back onto the ballot after Taylor thought he had followed the rule to remove his name from the ballot.  It’s funny that when I google “abuse of power” Kobach’s name is the first to appear on the search results.

Of course this is bad news for Pat Roberts since it’s expected that all of the Democratic votes will go to his challenger Greg Orman.  Roberts put out a press release after the ruling:

“Today, the Kansas Supreme Court deliberately, and for political purposes, disenfranchised over 65,000 voters. In a bow to Senators Claire McCaskill and Harry Reid, liberal activist Supreme Court justices have decided that if you voted in the Democrat Primary on August 5th, your vote does not matter, your voice does not matter, and you have no say in who should be on the ballot on Election Day. This is not only a travesty to Kansas voters, but it’s a travesty to the judicial system and our electoral process.”

 

What’s his deal with Harry Reid?  News flash Pat – if you polled most Kansans I doubt most of them would even know who Harry Reid is. The guy from Duck Dynasty – yes, but Harry Reid – negative.  Between McCaskill and Reid you are a Obama short of a trifecta of liberal-based fear mongering.    Your sincerity for the concern of the 65,000 voters has me gagging just a little.

You and I do agree, it is a travesty, but I think the travesty is to your campaign.

Moving on…

Rumor on the street is that Kobach is going to push the Democrats to put another candidate on the ballot to replace Taylor.   Someone tweeted out the statute that says this is the case, but it was in 3 point font and frankly I’m too lazy to read it.  I still find this hard to believe given that a large percentage of state races went unopposed last election.  If it is true, then I am going to make the bold move to throw my name in the ring.

That’s right ladies and gentlemen!  You heard it here first – if the Kansas Democrats need a name to replace Taylor, I will happily volunteer myself as the candidate that no one should ever vote for.  Yes, I changed parties and became a Republican in the primaries, but I can easily change back.  Accordingly to my Match.com profile, I’m wildly unpopular so no one would ever vote for me.  Also, just think of the added bonus of how annoying I could be to Kris Kobach.  It would totally be a win-win.

I think there is one thing that Kansas Democrats, Republicans and even Independents can all agree on – it doesn’t get any crazier in Kansas politics than this and I LOVE it.

 

Cheers,

Aimee

 

Gimme an O!

A grown woman running around yelling,  “gimme an O” gets a lot of interesting looks.letter o

The first O I’m yelling about  is for Greg Orman, the Independent running against Pat Roberts.  In the latest poll from Public Policy Polling has Orman up 41 percent to Roberts 34 percent.  This is without the anticipated Kansas Supreme Court ruling on Democrat Chad Taylor coming off the ballot that should happen any time.  Orman has been running a strong and well-funded campaign against Roberts.  Even with Roberts campaign shake up, the mud-slinging hasn’t stuck and Roberts continues to slide in the polls.

The second O I’m yelling about is for the word O-V-E-R which is what Pat Roberts campaign will be when the Supreme Court rules about Chad Taylor coming off of the ballot.  10% of votes are still polling for Taylor.  If the Supreme Court rules today that Taylor can come off of the Senate ballot, those votes will likely go to Orman, giving him an even wider lead against Roberts.  It’s unlikely that Roberts will be able to come back after a blow like that to his campaign.  I don’t care how many comparison’s to Obama his campaign ads to try to make.  People in Kansas are tired of Roberts.  We want a change.

The third O I’m yelling about is obstruction – for Kris Kobach’s role in all of this.  Nice try Kris in trying to sway the election for Roberts.  I read the line of questioning from the Kansas Supreme Court yesterday and my biggest take away from the whole thing is they can’t stand Kris Kobach as much as I can’t stand Kris Kobach.  The term “loosey goosey” was used during yesterday’s hearing.  Now I’m no lawyer, but you know things have gone off the legal cliff when that term is thrown into a line of questioning.

Here’s the deal Kris – I know you went to the finest Ivy League schools and you think you are all that a bag of chips, but abusing power is abusing power.  The word OVER applies to how I feel about you.  I have faith that our Kansas Supreme Court will find against you and I am glad to see that you are also in a tight race against Jean Schodorf.

The final O is off my rocker.  I’m completely floored by the house of cards that is crumbling.  First Brownback is polling behind Democrat Davis, now Roberts is falling to Orman and finally Kobach is neck and neck against Schodorf.  I never thought in my lifetime that a state as Republican as Kansas would be polling like this in an election.  I guess it’s pretty chilly in hell since it must have frozen over.

I guess we will wait and see what the Kansas Supreme Court rules.  Even without the ruling one thing is for sure, Orman has a great shot at beating Roberts and Kansas politics is the hottest ticket in town.

What do you think?  Why the sudden change in Kansas?

 

 

 

Governor Jay Nixon of Missouri had a terrible, horrible no good very bad day the other day when the Missouri Senate had a field day overriding just about all of his vetoes.  There were two key vetoes that I had my eye on – increasing the 72 hours waiting period for abortions in Missouri and expanding gun rights to include open carry by reducing the age and arming Missouri teachers.  guns

First  the abortion waiting period.  I’m sure the lawmakers are patting themselves on the back for increasing the waiting period from 24 hours to 72 hours, but get this…there is NO exception for rape or incest.  Girls, pregnant with your daddy’s baby?  Here’s the good news.  You now have 48 MORE hours to sit and think about this horrific situation you find yourself in.  Here’s the deal – the jury is still out on whether or not mandatory waiting period even decrease the number of abortions.  http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/MandatoryCounseling.pdf

So I have to ask myself – what’s the real point here?  I think you and I both know – ultimately Missouri lawmakers want to do away with abortion altogether.  How about this idea – in the next session just go ahead and introduce legislation for a mandatory 9 month waiting period.  That cuts right to the chase.

On to the next hot button issue – guns.

The Missouri Senate blocked the veto by Governor Nixon that now has Missouri schools arming teachers.  Yes, they have to go through training.  Yes it could potentially stop an armed intruder..blah blah blah

What could go wrong with this new legislation?

I give you Exhibit A out of Utah just the other day:

A Utah teacher had an accidental discharge in the school bathroom Thursday.

An unidentified teacher is in stable condition after accidentally shooting herself in the leg in the faculty bathroom of Westbrook Elementary School before classes started, officials told the Daily News.

The trigger-prone teacher, who has a concealed weapons permit, is currently recovering in a local hospital after the shot went off. Luckily, no students or other staff were around when the gun fired.

“She appears to have fallen, and she was in the restroom,” said Granite School District spokesman Ben Horsley. “It’s up to you to decide how that happened.”

 

Ok Ben – I will take a stab at how this happened.   The teacher, I’m going to call her Mrs. Smith, went to the women’s bathroom.  It was a long day teaching a group of active fourth graders.  She was on her feet all day.  It was day two of her three-day juice fast and she was on her third kale and apple juice.  She had gained a little weight and wanted to drop a few before sweater season starts.  The juices were as good as Mrs. Johnson who teaches in the third grade says, but boy do they make her have to pee.  Sure enough half way though the spelling test the urge set in.  Excusing herself to the bathroom quickly she put the “know it all” girl Kelsey in charge and ran down the hall to the teacher’s bathroom.

As luck would have it, she was wearing her too tight skinny jeans.  She couldn’t wear her pink, bedazzeled holster she normally wears with her gun to school so she had her clip-on holster attached to her skinny jeans with the gun tucked inside making the skinny jeans that much skinnier.   Great, she thought, she was already in full pee dance while unbuttoning her skinny jeans.  During the dance, she bent over to get that dang button undone and in doing so she fell forward causing the gun to shoot out of the back of her jeans like a sling shot and in doing so it fired.

Ben, that is my version of how this happened.  But then again….I could be wrong.

Now Missouri lawmakers have paved the way to bring guns into Missouri schools to stop the rare chance of an armed intruder entering the schools.  I have to think that more instances like this Utah teachers are bound to happen putting our Missouri children at risk.  All kidding aside, it was just luck that children weren’t present when this gun went off in the restroom where this teacher was.  Now that the legislation has passed, only time will tell if there will be more accidents like this.

 

 

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