“The Book” Men, keep your hands off!

Burlington Coat Factory, Olathe, KS

If you haven’t been paying attention lately, the women of this country are on fire and suddenly very interested in a certain piece of literature. I don’t even have to mention the title for everyone to know exactly what I’m talking about. The conversation usually starts like this, “Guess what I’m reading?” said in the most sing-songy way possible. Everybody knows the answer and it seems everyone in suburban America is reading it.

Full disclosure: I haven’t read it yet. I intend to, but I have been too busy reading a book on how to have a new child by Friday. That is really part of the title. I’m currently dealing with intense control issues of a 5 year old so I’m desperate to learn any tactic I can so I don’t completely lose my shit. I decide to put parenting advice reading above my suburban mom acceptable porn. However, now that I think about it, maybe I should put the porn first and that would make me much more chilled out and able to handle the power struggle between a tense mom and her stubborn 5 year old? Possibly rethinking tactic…I’ll get back to you on this.

Back to the topic about “the book”, I find it fascinating that this book is so acceptable in mainstream conversations. Moms sharing it with their adult daughters. Grown women discussing it at dinner conversation. Work friends comparing notes. What gives? Why is this girl porn o.k. but other types of porn not o.k.? I even find evidence of this sudden sexual liberation at my local Burlington Coat Factory by nighties as suggested “Daywear”. Trust me on this people who read my blog who aren’t from around here, this BCF is about 30 minutes from Hookerville so the demographic of this one is middle-aged suburban mom. Women on poles as a profession are not shopping in Olathe, KS for their uniforms. Is this a simple merchandising mistake or a not so subtle result of mainstream porn, excuse me “erotica”, that all of our suburban moms are reading? Are we all ready to nightie it up in the daytime? (I call the blue number at the bottom to wear to play tennis).

The other interesting observation I’ll make is that suburban women are VERY territorial about their porn. I had a guy friend of mine mention that he was reading “the book”. Wait a minute buddy! You can’t read “the book”. You are a guy. If you want your porn, it is perfectly acceptable for you to walk into any convenience store and simply buy a porno magazine. You can order up your porn from any cable company and not be mortified about what the cable company is going to think when “Hot, Horny, Sluts” shows up on your cable bill. You are a guy and these things are expected of you. We are women. We don’t get that luxury. We can’t mention, not even a little, that we may, just may, like porn. Our suburban mom cards will be revoked. We would be kicked off of the soccer sidelines. Our minivans would be repossessed. We would never be allowed in the zero entry kiddie pool again. This book is OURS. When I even mentioned to my girlfriends about my guy friend reading “the book” I got the exact same reaction that I had. He had NO RIGHT to read our book. I felt like they were ready to light the torches and march over to his house demanding “the book” back immediately. He had taken from us our one wonderful, mainstream acceptable “erotic” treat.

Consider this a warning my male friends. Stay away from our erotica. You have your porno and we have “the book”. And now, according to Burlington Coat Factory, we have a new definition of “Daywear”.

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Kyle James..Kansas City’s Outrage or Love Affair?

Kansas City has our own political soap opera…and the media is loving it. The star is the young man, Kyle James. Kyle James is the 24 year old son of Mayor Sly James. Sly James is the mayor of Kansas City, MO. Bloggers and talk show hosts can’t get enough of this young man. From what’s I’ve read, Kyle thinks he is a hip-hop star. He beats up women, causes trouble in our bar districts and now has been arrested for disorderly conduct. He is a pain in his father’s political ass. These things can’t be denied. However, I have never in my life seen an overreaction to the level that I have heard and read in the past 24 hours since it became apparent that the Mayor’s ADULT son was arrested sometime last week.

One would think by the outrage displayed on local blogs and talk radio that the Mayor of Kansas City is unable to form a sentence, shake a hand or even read due to his son’s behavior. His son’s juvenile behavior has some believing that Mayor James MUST be unable to lead this city. I mean, if he can’t control his son, how is he suppose to run this city? I have heard that an intervention must be staged on Kyle’s behalf (the assumption is he is a drug addict – I can’t confirm or deny this, nor do I frankly care much). It has been demanded that his mother come out and make a comment on her son’s behavior.

The most hilarious link is that Mayor James can’t possibly control the homicide rate in Kansas City, because of the behavior of his adult son. Excuse me? WTF? Let me say that again…The mayor can’t control homicides in this city because his son is a punk. Think about this. Now, you may have beef with the Mayor for lots of reasons. Whatever your reasons are, this can’t possibly be your reasoning. This makes absolutely NO sense. I can’t reconcile this as a common sense reason. That would be like me saying, my daughter can’t write sentences at 5 therefore I’m not a good mother. Wait, am I not a good mother? Maybe not…my suburban mom insecurity is kicking in.

The more this argument continues, the more I can’t figure out why such passion? I mean there is outrage! I keep hearing things like privilege, no job, rich boy. Is this an elitist thing? Is Kansas City mad because this young adult is a trouble maker and he is rich and connected? What makes him any different than some of the sports stars that have dotted our nightly landscape in this city that have caused trouble and beat up women? He isn’t the first kid in this town to use his connections. So what if the cops are giving this kid a ride home? Aren’t there bigger issues in this town? Is the problem that he can’t throw a football? There are white boys in JoCo doing equally stupid things and we don’t seem to be so preoccupied with their fuck ups. Yes, he is the Mayor’s son. So what? He is over 21.

I read a very popular local blog that is constantly writing about this issue. The comments section is loaded with anonymous comments about this ongoing story. It is almost regularly that this comment is part of the long list: “stupid nigger”. Now, I have my blog and it is in no way as cool or as read as this other person’s local blog. The media doesn’t court me in the same way. I’m not an expert guest on radio talk shows discussing this topic the way this person is. However, my comments are regulated by me. I post people who agree with me and people who don’t. I would never agree to post a comment like “stupid nigger” on my blog. It just can’t be denied that there is an underlying racism that is hidden behind “anonymous” comments. Now is the blogger responsible for comments posted as “anonymous”? No. But does the blogger have to post them? I guess that’s this blogger’s choice.

How much of this is generally racist? I don’t know. Everyone will say it isn’t racist. I just feel like this is intensified because this kid is connected, he is a “gangster want to be” and he is causing trouble, oh and he is also black. Our city just feels the need to be overly involved and definitely feels like we all need an explanation and be in on the intervention (whether or not he actually has a drug problem). Maybe it’s the city that has a problem? Maybe it’s just that this city is one highly dysfunctional family?

A note to my talk radio call in friends about gay marriage

Well, Obama did it. He finally supported gay marriage. Was it historic? Yes. Was it long overdue? Yes. Should VP Biden be getting more credit? Yes. If there is a Grand Marshal of the gay pride parade this year, I would vote for Biden over Obama. My reaction to Obama’s announcement was more of finally over hooray. This is the Obama I voted for originally. This is the Obama I have been waiting for.

After the announcement, talk radio phone lines lit up like Christmas lights on the Plaza on Thanksgiving. The same old arguments, “The Bible says,…” insert hateful remark. I listened to call after call of self described Christians spouting off hatred hidden behind the justification that it’s not me, it’s the Bible excuses. I don’t want to lay out hateful justification after hateful justification via the Bible here because it’s not worth repeating. Also, I think we’ve all heard it before.

I kept thinking to myself, if you just replace the word homosexual or gay with the word black or Jew, what’s the difference? The Bible has been used to justify all sorts of horrible behavior in the past. The South used it to justify slavery at one point in our embarrassing and horrible American history. I also kept thinking about the famous picture from Little Rock, AR, when the black students were integrating the high school and the crowd of white students behind them were screaming. Aren’t these talk radio callers the same as this angry crowd? What makes them any different? You can wrap yourself up in the blanket of Christianity all you want, but hatred is just hatred not matter how you try to justify it.

Our history has shown us that separate, but equal doesn’t work. We tried that when we educated black students separately from white students. This idea that civil unions are the same as marriage is crazy. Two responsible adults in a committed relationship should have the same rights any other adults in the same relationship and genders shouldn’t matter. Period. Do we really need to repeat history to learn a lesson that we already learned? Separate, but equal doesn’t work. Marriage for one means marriage for all.

This week I receive my very first antisemitic tweet. It came out of nowhere. It wasn’t directed at me, because of my pro-choice stance. It wasn’t directed at me because of my other hyper liberal positions. It was only because I am Jewish. Now when I first saw it there was a part of me that thought, well done. You did you homework,you Jew hater, because you obviously aren’t picking out Jews by last name alone to target. Like I said before, my last name is by marriage and not Jewish. There was another part of me that thought, wow I made it. I guess I am kind of famous in a weird way because I received my first hate tweet. I feel like it’s a right of passage in some way. I looked up the other tweets of this hate tweeter. Bette Midler was on the list. Bette! Me and Bette in the same twitter feed! Stop it. Seriously? The Jew hater had me and Bette only a few tweets away!

Another little insight into me. I was a Jew at a Southern Baptist University. I am fully versed in hatred supported by the Bible. It’s a long story as to how I ended up there and it’s not important to this entry, but I had a regular dish of hatred served to me in the form of “but it’s in the Bible’. Call it ignorance, call it closed mindedness, call it whatever you want. I’ll call it what I think it is, HORSE SHIT. It’s discrimination and hatred and it needs to be called out. If you want to hate blacks, Jews, homosexuals then own it. Don’t do it and then say, “well God said it was o.k.” That’s an excuse my 5 year old would use. The Bible also has a whole lot of other wacky stuff in it that we don’t apply, because we’ve all decided that in today’s day it’s wacky. I don’t believe we all show the sheet of blood after the marriage night to prove that our wives are virgins now do we?

Thanks VP Biden and President Obama for taking such huge leaps forward in finally making marriage equality a possibility for so many. It is long overdue. Keep it up. There are a whole group of good people who just want the opportunity for equal rights who are depending on you.

Lost in Suburbia – the little blue dot that wasn’t

We’re taking a break today from the topic of abortion.  Everyone can relax.  Let’s go on a journey with me.  A journey to suburbia, Midwest, USA.  I drive a lot for my job.  Usually I have my trusty GPS with me to guide me through what ever road jungles I encounter.  Darling G is currently guiding my mother and her friends on their golf trip to Arkansas so I had to go it alone today.

Alone, well, not alone like in the 80s where that meant a map.  Alone today in 2012, I had a  list of addresses and my iphone with my map app at the ready.  I put my address in and away I went.  I drove to a part of the city that when I was growing up used to be a rural town, but now has blossomed and latched onto the city as a suburb.

I got to the suburb easy enough, it was highway all the way.  Then it was side streets.  The suburb had lost it’s rural charm and was now one strip mall after another strip mall.  I’m not bashing the usefulness of the suburban strip mall, but when one is depending only on a red, green and blue dot to get around, it is far from helpful.

I found my addresses easy enough, but what I wasn’t paying attention to was how far away from the main city I was going.  I looked down at my travel mileage thingy (I’m not very car savvy-I own this) and it said 70 miles. I decided to turn around and get back to the highway that would get me back home.

I typed in my home address into my trust i-Phone.  30 miles.  Okey dokey, easy enough.  I start driving.  One beige suburb.  Another beige suburb.  Suddenly I have no idea where I am.  I’m following my blue dot.  Since I’m GPSless, there is no calming female voice telling me how many feet I have left until I have to turn.  I judge by the blue dot how many feet I have left and BAM I pass it.  Ok, next street and BAM I pass it again.  Suddenly, I am in the bowels of unfamiliar suburbia.

I am no longer in beigeville.  I am now in some alternative universe where all of the houses are painted only three colors: Mustard Yellow, Brick Red and Patriotic Blue.  It’s a new suburb, probably only 5 years old at most.  The houses are very close together, but it is surrounded by farm land.  The streets have roundabouts instead of stop signs.  Note to suburban planners:

1.  This is the Midwest, do not put roundabouts in.  Have you ever seen us at a 4-way stop?  We can’t even figure that out and now you want to add roundabouts?  Seriously?  Unless you are going to have somebody directing traffic, we, Midwesterners, are way too nice and will sit at the yield sign FOREVER waiting until absolutely NO ONE is in the roundabout before proceeding. That’s just the way we are.

2.  Close together housing and town homes (I witnessed both):  When you are surrounded by farmland on 3 sides, is it necessary to be so close to either a. share walls with your neighbor or b. offer your neighbor breakfast out your window and your neighbor be able to accept and grab the plate from your window? Come on people – there is plenty of land, spread it out.

There I was in Candyland and suddenly my blue dot disappears!  It disappeared! Sweet Jesus, I was no longer in i-Phone world.  No map, no GPS, no i-phone.  I was gone.  Panic set in.  I thinking about what my grandmother would have done.  It was a 1950′s experience people.  I thought, I’ll just drive east.  Wait, no navigation system to tell me which way is east!  Where is the damn sun?  I was a girl scout for like 5 minutes!  After being convinced I was going to die in Candyland I suddenly popped out onto a main road.

On the main road, my blue dot reappeared.  I exhaled with relief.  I was back!  My blue dot was back.  I was somebody again.

Kinzer, I know you’re giving JC a high five, but take a sec and read this

Kansas made the national news yet again this week. Was it for our amazing ability to be innovative and create new jobs? No. Was it because we are tops in the nation at providing a 1st class education to all of KS children? No again. Could it be that our KS reps were hard at work rolling out legislation that would reduce taxes, but still provide great services to our hard working citizens while still balancing the budget? Strike 3!

You probably know why. It’s a broken record here in KS. We made the news, because our legislature pasted the most restrictive abortion bill in the nation from our abortion Czar Rep. Lance Kinzer. I figure someone working this hard not to honor our nation’s Supreme Court ruling and thumb his nose at our Founding Fathers should be giving some awesome title like Czar. So by the powers granted to me by the world of Pleasantly Eccentric, I now name you, Representative Lance Kinzer, Abortion Czar of the state of Kansas.

I have a feeling that Representative Kinzer is currently in his place of worship today, Sunday, and giving Jesus Christ a virtual high five today for accomplishing what he believes is what JC would have wanted. WWJD or in this case WWJW. Here’s a little reality check for Czar K to bring him off of his legislative high from the past week.

See, you can continue to not honor the Supreme Court decision of Roe V. Wade and make laws like the one that Gov. Brownback is getting read to sign off on, but that doesn’t make the need for abortion go away. You can disregard our federal system all you want, by enacting all of these state laws, but the harsh reality is you are driving women to the underground of secret abortion and women are gong to die in the process.

Is there such a thing? You bet. Just out of curiosity I googled abortion pills one day and I was shocked at what I found. Just like a guy who is having problems with his Johnson, can order his little blue pills from Canada, girls can order RU 486 from the internet with no medical supervision at all. I couldn’t believe what I read, but sure enough for about $300, women can order their abortion pills that come in “discreet packaging” with a list of instructions to induce their abortions. Discreet packaging – sounds like a woman is ordering porn, not about to induce a medical procedure that should be supervised by a clinician.

Along with all of this information came a bunch of warnings about fake websites that provided fake RU 486. Not only that, but on these websites there were warnings about signs of infections and how a woman should follow up with a doctor if she shows any sign of infection. Self diagnosis? Seriously? Like this isn’t ripe for problems. I don’t know Czar Kinzer – what do you think? Currently RU 486 requires 3 visits to the clinician to complete the procedure. Online ordering means a woman determines the gestational age, administers RU 486 herself and has no idea if the termination is complete.

So Czar Kizer, you take away the safe options for women who seek abortion away. You push these women into the option of ordering from the internet for the pills with no medical over site. Do I really need to lay out for you what the end result of this is going to be? If you said women dying, ding ding ding – give that man a prize!

Before you high five JC, take a moment and think about this. I’m not asking you to give up your pro-life beliefs. Be as pro-life as you want. Pray for it, shout it from the rooftops, do what ever you want. Just stop abusing your position of power by writing whatever laws you want about abortion and fast tracking it to the Governor’s desk. Just because you cut off access doesn’t mean the need for the service goes away. Don’t drive women into the virtual back alleys with no appropriate medical guidance. Don’t be responsible for women dying when they don’t have to.

To the few KS lawmakers who stood up to this bill, thank you. It takes a lot of courage to speak up and vote against this outrageous legislation. To those who voted for it, you may be giving Jesus Christ a high five today, but don’t bet that he is offering his hand in return.

Television a waste of time? Not in my world.

Today I was having a conversation with someone and I was surprised to learn that this person doesn’t watch any television.  This person finds television a “waste of time”.  A waste of time?  A waste of time! (shock, outrage, hold it..Daily Show is back on)

I’m back, commercial break.  This had me thinking.  See I watch a lot of television.  I’m totally dependent on my DVR to best utilize the time I’m going to waste to the best of my ability.  Other than right now when I’m watching and typing to live television without the DVR, I’m living my life in the fast lane of recorded shows and FF with an accuracy rate that is with pinpoint precision to hit the mini second when the commercial is ending and the show is beginning.

That said, here are some highlights that I’m happy to have wasted my time on this week and maybe, just maybe I’ll swing this person into believing that television is actually a fantastic way to waste/spend some time.

Mad Men

So this week I had a magic moment where I was transported back to my preteen years via the character of Sally.  Sally is the main character, Don Draper’s daughter who he took to an adult function.  Don’s coworker Roger pays attention to Sally treating her like an adult instead of a child at the party.  I remember being treated like this once.  I don’t remember the man, the event or how old I was, but I remember the feeling.  Watching Mad Men I got to experience that feeling again.

With those same preteen feelings, I also sat in shock as I witnessed Roger get a blowjob from Megan’s mother in a side room at the party.  My shock was different from Sally’s.  See, Sally was having a teachable moment shall we say, for me my shock was at the fact that basic cable was showing what looked like a BJ on basic cable.  Did I mention it was on basic cable?  Of course there was no nudity, but a BJ on a Sunday night!  Some parents group had to be going bat shit crazy over this.  I felt like I was experiencing a sexual revolution right along with Peggy.  Roger, you weren’t the only one who was loving this.  My pleasure was in the boundaries that Mad Men was pushing.  Well done!

Piers Morgan

Jury is still out on this guy.  I want to like him, but then I catch an episode like I did the other day and my lip curls in disapproval.  He was interviewing an author about a book he wrote that basically said Liberals were crazy (my summary, not the author’s).  Piers came out swinging almost immediately.  It was some sort of verbal street fight and it was ugly.  Even the author who was a jerk called Piers out for the terrible questioning and interviewing style.  I think Piers thought he was being a hard hitting journalist, but it reminded me of some Cross X rounds I had in high school debate.  It was sloppy, nasty and pointless.  At the same time, I couldn’t take my eyes off it.  I felt like at any moment someone was going to yell “asshole” and throw a punch.  Nobody did and they ended nicely, but it was weird.  Can somebody tell me why Piers acts like he just got off the boat?  If you are going to discuss American politics on an American show, stop playing the I’m just a silly Brit who doesn’t understand the American system card.  I think you’ve been here long enough Piers.  Either study up or hand the baton to someone else already.


Watching old episodes just to laugh like crazy.  I know, I have the comedy maturity of a young 20′s male, but this show is hilarious!

Girls – HBO

This show is the talk of the town so I had to watch an episode to see what the hoopla is all about.  All this show did was drive me to a round of emotional eating.  Here was my internal dialog:

What are they wearing?  Carrie Bradshaw wouldn’t wear that. Is this suppose to take place in the early 80′s?  What is he doing?  I sure hope they’re using protection.  She shouldn’t lean that far out the window.  She might fall.  Carrie wouldn’t wear that.  Why doesn’t she pull her hair back and out of her eyes?  I’m starting to sound like my mother.  Doesn’t she have to work in the morning?  She should go to bed. Carrie wouldn’t say that.

Summary – I’m too old to watch this show.  I couldn’t stop comparing this to Sex and the City.  I realized I’m not the demographic for this show and it totally bummed me out.  A show about girls in their early 20′s seems kind of lame to a person in her extremely early 40′s.  Young ladies in your 20′s, enjoy your show.  I’ll be watching re-runs of Sex and the City.

Did I waste my time this week? You decide, but right now I’ve got to go watch the Colbert Report.

If you can’t say gay, then you also shouldn’t pray

I’m rhyming in my headline and I’m loving it! So fun…

Normally I spend most of my time on here either chatting about national politics or discussing my great state of Kansas and our conservative 1950′s like throwback social policy bills (I like to call it “vintage legislation”) that our representatives loves to waste our tax payer money on, but it seems Missouri was feeling a bit left out so they did something to get my attention. Yes, MoMo I’m paying attention sweetie.

See I live about a block away from the state line in Kansas City. I straddle the state line more than a Chinese gymnast straddles the beam in a summer Olympics. I live in Kansas by night, but work in Missouri by day. Sounds pretty mysterious doesn’t it. When I do manage to keep up on Kansas City or Missouri state politics, I do so by some great KC blogs like this one: http://www.kcconfidential.com/?page=Tony_Botello

I read a great Op-Ed piece on the KC Star by Barb Shelly about the Don’t Say Gay legislation introduced in MO. http://voices.kansascity.com/entries/rep-steve-cookson-defends-dont-say-gay-legislation/

Here’s the bill summary from the MO House of Representatives website: Prohibits the discussion of sexual orientation in public school instruction, material, or extracurricular activity except in scientific instruction on human reproduction.

I went to the source mentioned in Shelly’s piece to read the whole interview. The extended interview with Rep. Cookson who authored the bill ran in the SEMO Times. Rep. Cookson defends the bill as not prejudice against gay people by saying he isn’t preventing them from seeking help from school counselors if they need it, but oh hell, I’ll let him use his own words,

“Once again, what I’m wanting to accomplish with it is that we give the best quality education to students, that we focus on what’s appropriate, that school districts should be instructing kids on, and that we leave it to the families or other professionals outside of the school districts to help students who are struggling with whatever their issues are. I’m not saying that there are not different orientations of, you know, sexual identity. I don’t believe that the bill said that. I really find them dubbing it—which are not my words—the ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill…. Well, nowhere in it does it say ‘gay.’ I would like to dub it as the ‘More Textbooks, Less Sex Books’ legislation.” SEMO Times Click Here For the Entire Interview

Well, Rep Cookson, I had no idea that in rural MO your schools were taken up so substantially with gay alliance groups and it was taking away from being able to provide “the best quality education”. It’s amazing that children can graduate from your high school even being able to read since all they do is attend LGBT alliance groups that try to convince them that they are gay. I’m guessing you had the shittiest record in high school football since all of your high school boys were busy getting seduced by the LGBT alliance group.

I’ll stop the sarcasm and get to the point. It seemed like you, Rep. Cookson, were trying to defend yourself against attacks that you were prejudice against gay people. In order to prove that’s not the case, I suggest that you do away with all groups that assemble on school grounds for any reason. I mean, let’s be serious, if you are focused on doing what is appropriate to instruct kids and leave everything else to professionals or parents then here are my suggestions on other groups to do away with:

  • Pep Squads of any sort. Parents can teach kids how to be peppy. What does being peppy have to do with learning curriculum anyway?
  • Any religious affiliated groups. We all know that this was pushing the boundaries anyway for separation of church and state. “If the you can’t say gay, then you also can’t pray” is my new slogan for this campaign. Please take it and use it…free of charge.
  • Any clubs having to do with foreign language, ethnic heritage, race or religion. Like the gay clubs that provide students with a place to feel welcomed and comfortable, these clubs also provide the same support and therefore to show you aren’t prejudice these clubs should also be removed.
  • Dances of any sort. I know it’s very Footloose, but if we are only going for curriculum here, remove the dances.
  • Theater groups, choirs, music groups, etc. Anything having to do with music or theater should also be removed. It doesn’t really advance curriculum so it also has to go. For examples just look to KS. Brownback is doing a great job at removing the arts in KS. I’m sure arts in high schools are next.

If you don’t take these steps to show you are truly about advancing a curriculum only school system without any frills these types of clubs provide then I hate to tell you, but you are prejudice. (Call me Captain Obvious) You can defend yourself all you want saying that it is about what is appropriate on school grounds, but I’m not letting you get away with that.

Prove me wrong. Write legislation that outlaws all groups on school grounds, not just groups for gay students. Show them this isn’t about prejudice. LGBT teens suffer prejudice every day that causes them extreme emotional harm. Show them that they can depend on their government not to participate in the hatred. I’ll be watching and so will the nation.

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