One girl’s journey 13 years ago for gun control

Sad and shocking news from my side today as the Democratic leaders removed the assault weapons ban from firearm legislation.

Majority Leader Harry Reid says he wants to bring a gun bill to the Senate with enough support to overcome any Republican efforts to block debate. And he says he was concerned that opposition to the assault weapons ban would block passage of any bill at all. Many Democrats think a ban on large-capacity magazines has a better chance of getting 60 votes.

News flash Harry – the Republicans are going to attempt to block and any all efforts to enact new gun legislation.    I think 1st term Obama can give you a little lesson in how well that works. Democrats give a little and the Republicans don’t give at all.  Works like a charm.

Anyway, as my resigned feeling of defeat was setting in, I started exploring where I had felt this kind of disappointment before.  Gun control is always something I had felt strongly about.  Sandy Hook, Aurora, Columbine were all terrible tragedies, but I have been passionate about gun control ever since I was a young gal starting out in Washington DC with high hopes that maybe…just maybe…I could make a difference.  (insert patriotic music)

Once upon a time there were a million moms.

Ok maybe just 750,000, but we were all moms.

Ok I wasn’t a mom, but one day I knew I was going to be a mom.

Oh hell…at that time I didn’t know I was going to be a mom…but I was there.

It was an amazing event.  The mall was filled with people and we were all passionate about gun control.

Everyone was out there on a hot, sunny day and I was chilling in the “celebrity” tent as an event volunteer.

The point was we were all there and we were all there to save lives!

Yes that’s Melissa Ethridge and Reece Witherspoon.  Courtney Love was there.  Susan Sarandon and I were BFFs for the day (ok, maybe she just posed with me for this picture).

I have no idea who is with me on that very bottom pick – this was 13 years ago.  Give a girl a break.

Before you start sending me comments – I am very aware that you can see my iPhone taking a picture of my pictures.  I need to get me one of those scanner thingys. I’m not above donations…message me for details.

As inspirational as Rosie’s speech was 13 years ago, the sad reality is that not much as changed and with what happened today with the firearm bill, I am bracing for more disappointment. The part that sucks is there are no celebrities or a bright sunny day at the mall to help soften my disappointment.  Just me looking at old pictures…

The Million Mom March in 20003.19.13 001 3.19.13 002 3.19.13 004 3.19.13 006 3.19.13 007

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Bank Robber Shot by Civilian – Gun Rights People Go Crazy

Dear Gun Rights Advocates:

Me again.

I know.  I’m a pain in the ass.


Since I have subscribed to many of your newsletters, I’ve noticed that a lot of you have been celebrating a recent “victory” that happened out of Trimble, MO last week.  Here’s a brief summary for those who didn’t follow the news.

Bank robber walks into the First Security Bank of Trimble and shows a gun demanding money.

Sounds like something taken from the Bank Robbery 101 play book.

Mr. Bank Robber gets shot in the bank.

Mr. Bank Robber gets in car.

Mr. Bank Robber takes police on a high-speed chase.

Mr. Bank Robber gets caught and is now in hospital and will go to jail.

Gun rights advocates go crazy with joy!  See good guys with guns took out bad guy with a gun – a la Wayne LaPierre.

Everyone lives happily ever after.

The end.

Now so fast my gun totting friends.  Let’s stop and think about some of these facts for a moment.

First, according to my friends at the Kansas City Star, it wasn’t exactly an armed “civilian”, it was a guard at the bank.  I know, here we go again with those silly facts.  Also, it begs the question if it was a civilian doing business at the bank, what’s the point of those silly signs posted everywhere with a gun and a slash across it?

Second, if the guard/civilian did shoot the bank robber in the face, the guard/civilian is a pretty crappy shot.  Mr. Bank Robber gets out of the bank, into his car and leads police on a 25 MILE POLICE CHASE from Trimble, MO to Kansas City.  Now I’ve never been shot in the face, so I’m just guessing, but I can imagine that if I was accurately shot in the face, operating a motor vehicle correctly for 25 miles would be pretty gosh darn hard.

Again, I’m no gun expert as I’ve said in previous blogs, but if I got shot accurately in the face, I would assume I would be dead.  That’s right – probably pretty darn dead.  Now I’m also no driving expert, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say I would need a face to drive a car.  I need  two eyes, my brain, maybe even my mouth to scream, “holy shit that hurt.”  So where exactly was he “shot in the face”?

I know…I can be a total pain in the ass with all of these questions.  I was one of those kids who constantly asked why.

So before you keep celebrating your gun rights victory, take a second and think about some of these things.  I don’t consider a guard at a bank a “civilian”.  I think the Department of Motor Vehicles may want to require on our driving requirements that everyone driving have a face.  That is if we are going to be able to drive say more than 5 miles.

Anyway, sorry for interrupting your gun love fest.

Yours in annoying questions,




Do I want neighbors trading guns? Hell no!

Dear Sen. Blunt,

1950s kitchen

It’s me again, you know Aimee, a.k.a.  the pain-in-your-ass.  Anyway I’ve got another issue to bring up. I know – shocker.  Just give me a second.  I keep hearing from you that you are opposed to any gun legislation that would, in your words, prevent if  “two guys living next door want to trade shotguns.”  You and your pro-gun politicians also go on to say that background checks shouldn’t apply to private gun sales or if a family wants to hand down guns within the family.

The more I think about this the more I have a problem with it.

Please just keep reading.

The more I think about this one, the more the visual keeps popping up in my head of the 1950′s housewife coming over to borrow a cup of sugar.  See, it’s not the 1950′s anymore.  Unfortunately ,we rarely know much about our neighbors, let alone what their mental history is.

  • Do you really know if your neighbor is paranoid schizophrenic?  
  • Do you know if your neighbor has ever been hospitalized for bi-polar disorder?  
  • Do you know if they have ever had a restraining order out for harassing someone?  
  • Do you know if your neighbor beats his wife?

You may be all cocky and think you know, but you really don’t know.  This is something I know for sure.

I was doing google research this morning on Adam Lanza.  Turns out nobody really knew if Adam Lanza was on any psychiatric meds.  His neighbors certainly didn’t know.  See nobody in his neighborhood really knew Adam Lanza.

If I came to your neighborhood and asked you about all of your neighbors and all of their mental health history, could you tell me?  I certainly can’t tell you all of my neighbors names, let alone the status of their mental health.  Do you really think it’s ok for me to be able to trade or borrow weapons that can kill people if I don’t know any of this vital information that could prevent another mass killing?

I think hiding behind this belief that it’s ok to keep background checks out of it if it’s between neighbors or family is a cop-out.  A deadly cop-out.  If we are serious about gun control, let’s include this as well.  If you want a gun bad enough, go through a background check.  That is the best way to keep our public safe and still uphold the right to bear arms.

Now we can all wish for the good old days when we did go next door to borrow a cup of sugar and our kids ran free all over the neighborhood, but unfortunately those days are gone.

Let’s continue to be serious about strengthening gun control laws – including background checks and apply it to all guns and all people.  I know this is against what the NRA believes, but it’s time to stand up to the NRA.


Aimee Patton

Announcement – new company to provide gun background checks

Dear American people,

I am submitting a proposal that I hope you will take into consideration as a possible solution to our gun problems in America. As the gun debate continues, it seems like Democrats and Republicans are all agreeing that background checks are necessary when it comes to purchasing a gun. All too often there are places like the internet and gun shows where guns are purchased without a necessary background check. If there is anything I think our representatives can come to agreement on, it’s expanding the background checks to apply everywhere a gun is purchased.

The next question is…where is the money coming from to fund this proposal and is this something better handled by a private company?

I don’t usually agree with Republicans on much, but I think in this case there is a private company can do a very thorough job at conducting background checks. That is why I am officially endorsing eHarmoney as the company who can provide the most comprehensive background checks this nation needs.

“Wait, isn’t eHarmoney an online dating site?” you may be asking.

Correct…eHarmoney is an online dating site.

Allow me to explain.

Once upon a time there was a women, a very, very young woman, who was looking for love. She decided that in order to find love, she would do as millions like her have done before – she was going online looking for a “lasting relationship”. That eHarmoney commercial with the gray-haired man talking about love kept popping into her mind. Pictures of the cute couples who “complete each other” were something that attracted this young woman to pick eHarmoney as her online dating match maker.

So, this young woman took the “free personality profile” to get set up so she could find the love she so longed for. 29 questions was all it took. She read the directions and noted when it said to answer to the questions as honesty as possible to find your love.

So she did…

On a grading scale of “never” to “always” she answered questions like:

1. Do you like being the center of attention? (she writes a blog that she hopes people will read) Always

2. Are you kind? Depends on the day she thought, but she answered slightly right of center towards the always mark.

3. Do you want to be sexually compatible with your mate? Who the hell would answer no? So she answered “always”. If “hell ya” was an option, she would have written that in.

4. Do you want to have more kids? Wait, wasn’t the first question what’s my, I mean her, age? Do the math eHarmoney – Advanced maternal age at this point is an understatement. Hell to the no.

5. List 3 things you cherish: her daughter, her blog and a good game of craps and yes in that order.

For about a half an hour she answered the questions honestly. Does she work out? Sometimes. Do you care if your mate is physically attractive? What type of question is that? Totally in the eye of the beholder so that falls on the middle of the “care-meter”.

The answers flowed so quickly she was almost giddy at the end when she would hit submit and all of the potential matches would come flowing onto her computer screen.


“We are sorry, but we are unable to match you at this time. This is not a personal reflection of you. blah blah blah blah blah”

Wait..what? No match? No “you complete me” couple.…no love.

I, I mean she was rejected by an online dating service.

Rock freaking bottom….

She tried to go back and “soften” her profile. Maybe she didn’t always have to be the center of attention. Maybe she is nicer than she gives herself credit for. Maybe sexual compatibility is over-rated. She could just live as good friends with her love match. I mean aren’t there some religious sects that do that? You know they call each other “brother” and “sister”. Or is that Mormanism? She gets confused.

The back button only confirmed her sudden panic- locked out. The same humiliating message came up. It should have read, “You only have one time to make a good first impression. So sorry you old maid. Now go pet your many cats.”

This sad story is why I believe that the best possible company to profile and accept new gun owners are the same people who hold the keys to love. eHarmony – the name alone is peaceful – Harmony (insert angels singing and playing harps).

Harmony is something we all strive for with gun ownership. We hope to never actually have to use the gun we buy for protection. Who better to profile potential dangers to our society then the same online dating system that can dump potential online clients in a half an hour and reject their willingness to give them money to set them up. Whatever eHarmony’s secrets are to matching love, lets apply those same tactics to weed out dangerous criminals trying to buy guns.

Gun background checks could just be the beginning for eHarmony….maybe terrorist profiling is next. The options are endless. Hell, for all this woman knows, answering these questions may have put her on some list and not the one that eHarmony advertises.

eHarmoney – the American people will be in touch regarding this proposal.

The woman wanted me to share her parting message to eHarmoney as she logged off her profile.

Go fuck yourself eHarmony. Now move that middle of center “kind” answer all the way to the NEVER mark. That other question about her temper – she is working on it.



URGENT – A Plea to Responsible Gun Owners

I couldn’t help, but pause yesterday during Christmas and remember the families grieving in Newtown as they dealt with their first Christmas without their precious children. As we continue to process the gun control debate in this country there is so much to consider.

My wish is that guns were outlawed altogether. Even I realize that is extreme.  I understand there is a time for compromise.  I continue to debate alternatives that may make our kids and our society safer.

The nation is already discussing the ban on semi-automatic weapons.  I think that is something that we will hopefully see happen.  I think there is also another option that should be considered.

In this country, we have determined that if parents serve alcohol to minors we hold them responsible.  Here is the following language from VA:

Parents may be held responsible if someone, as a result of alcohol use:

  • Gets into a fight and hurts someone.
  • Falls and hurts themselves or someone else.
  • Sexually assaults someone.
  • Damages property.
  • Dies from drinking too much.
  • Injures or kills someone while driving after leaving the party.

You have a civil liability (meaning you can be sued) to pay damages if either a partygoer is hurt or a third person is injured. Virginia law recognizes your liability for negligence if you provide alcohol to a minor who causes injury to another or him/herself. You may also face criminal charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Going off of this line of thinking, if gun owners in this country are “responsible gun owners” like the NRA claims, let’s up the expectations.  If a gun owner’s gun gets in the hands of their children or another person and that gun hurts or kills someone else, the gun owner is responsible and can be charge with the crime as if the gun owner committed the offense.

Let me be clear  - if your gun commits murder, you are charged with murder.

That way a person who feels compelled to own a weapon for “protection” or for sport will have to be seriously dedicated to do so to take the risk.   It may reduce the number of guns in our society, because of potential consequences to the gun owner.

I’m sure Nancy Lanza thought she was a responsible gun owner.

Also, there are no more gun accidents.  If your gun hurts or injures a child, you go to jail.  Again, this is based on the assumption that everyone is a responsible gun owner.

Your blessed 2nd amendment remains intact and it’s a win-win.  Again, if everything is on the table, then I believe this option should be as well.

If we treat alcohol as a deadly weapon and we hold adults who provide it to minors responsible for crimes they don’t necessarily commit, shouldn’t we hold gun owners to the same standard?

I’m asking you NRA.  I hope you are listening.



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