Since we are so busy handing out apologies today, I thought I would offer you my sincere apology. See I guess I have also been wrong and I was not even aware of it until you pointed it out on your show today. I tuned in to your show and it is not something I do usually, but since you called the Georgetown student a slut last week, I decided to tune in today.
Well, it was a great opportunity to hear you explain yourself further based on the standard written statement you released over the weekend when no one was really paying much attention. So I listened and that is when I realized that it was really me who owed you an apology. I had no idea that you were really the victim in this whole affair.
While you were explaining yourself, you made it very clear that you were so seduced by the liberal side of the debate on contraception and that is what made you fall from your usual high communication standards and caused you to call Ms. Fluke a “slut”. You pointed out it is usually only liberals and Democrats who participate in such name calling and your standards are so much higher than our standards. It was only because of this momentary lapse of judgement that you allowed yourself to be brought down to our level and play the same types of games we Democrats play by calling out this woman as a “prostitute” as you say.
So, Mr. Limbaugh, with that I do offer my sincere apology. I had no idea you were so easily brought down to my level of politics and national dialog. Now mind you, the words, “slut” and “prostitute” were your words alone. You picked those words to describe this young woman. The level that I choose to reside at when discussing a category of individuals usually goes like this; underserved, disadvantaged, wealthy, elitist, man, woman, wife, husband, Christian, Jew, African American, Caucasian. These are the ones I generally use. I can see how these words confuse you and you believe are similar to the words you picked. I can also see how your level of political analysis and dialog is so much higher and my level is so much lower. For this I am truly sorry. I had no idea the power of my liberalness and the pull of the left wing in this nation toward inclusion could be so seductive and could cause you to so easily fall off your pedestal. Ah, the power of the ….what is it? It starts with a “p”? Politics, yes politics is the word I’m looking for.
I hope now that your apology is out there to the American people, you can dust yourself off and put yourself back up on that higher level. The level where exclusion is much more important than inclusion. The level where life is grand provided you have the money to be able to maintain membership to this higher level club. Continue to fight hard against us, Mr. Limbaugh with our moral arguments that everyone should be equal and decent healthcare should be available to all not just to those who can afford it. I know that kind of talk is just dirty and so obscene that it makes you say things like women who use birth control are sluts. I know, I know that kind of talk just brings out the worst in you and I understand why. Get comfortable in that elevated club of conservatism. I know! Maybe you should build a fence around it? A golden fence and it should be patrolled by border agents. That way you can never be seduced off of it by our liberal pull.
A word to the wise, if you should happen to be seduced down to our level again, maybe you should consider using protection? It may prevent you in the future from having words like “slut” and “prostitute” slip out of your mouth again. When you use protection, things won’t happen that you don’t plan to have happen in the first place. Then you don’t end up having to pay for the consequences for the rest of your life. The consequences can be extremely costly as I think you are finding out with your advertisers now using the rhythm method and all pulling out.