Jokes on me.

If you are looking for my last post, I deleted it.  As crazy as some thing are in Kansas, I read a story and thought it was true.  My apologies and I will say jokes on me.


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The Kings of Kansas! Only state gun laws allowed. Local and Federal laws – talk to the hand.

It’s nearing the end of the legislative session in Kansas and the Kansas Senate wanted to go out with a bang.  They do so by passing SB447by a wide margin.  In case you didn’t get my joke – SB447 is a gun rights bill.  Get it?  Bang?  Oh never mind…

So what does SB447 do?  Well, first off it nullifies local gun laws and makes only state gun laws valid.

Let’s back up for a moment.  Kansas didn’t like that the federal government wanted to implement stronger gun control measures so it wrote a bill to nullify any federal gun laws in Kansas.  Now it doesn’t like that local municipalities may have gun laws specific to their communities so it passed this bill to nullify any local laws.

Well aren’t you just becoming the playground bully?

Hang on local governments, I’ve got this.

How can you be outraged that the federal government is trying to impose gun laws and then turn around and impose your own gun laws on local governments?

What’s good for the goose…

“Municipalities have a constitutional right to control things of local concern, and that’s what we’re trying to protect because there are a lot of issues that are not necessarily a statewide concern,” said Eric Smith, league counsel for LKM. “Each local municipality, depending on what their constituents, what their citizens believe, make the determination of how something should or shouldn’t be regulated.”

This is my favorite part:

“Sen. Pat Pettey, D-Kansas City, offered an amendment — it was defeated — to grant public libraries, community centers and community mental health centers a permanent exemption from existing state law requiring people with conceal and carry licenses to enter those buildings. The exemption is held by K-12 public schools.”

So let me get this straight, it’s A-OK to walk into a mental health center with a gun?  Are you freaking kidding me?

Yes, I know your logic NRA – we need more guns to prevent bad things from happening.  Blah…blah…blah.

“The fact that law-abiding citizens can carry weapons increases safety for everyone,” said Sen. Greg Smith, R-Overland Park.

Really Sen. Smith?  Do you really believe this?

Want to know if your employees are packing heat?  According to this Kansas bill, it’s none of your business.

“The bill also would prohibit local governments from asking their employees to disclose if they have permits to carry concealed weapons, and it prohibits any job discrimination against public employees who do.”

Welcome to Kansas where the Kansas Senate, I mean the NRA is King!


Good news people who suffer from hypothetical illnesses – KS HB2553 is just for you!

Another day another bill to attempt to defund, make illegal or just outright outlaw Obamacare. This time it comes from my favorite KS Representative Brett Hildebrand. Hildebrand sponsored HB2553 – the healthcare compact bill. Now what the heck is a health care compact? It basically takes the newly formed Federal program of Obamacare and puts healthcare back into the control of the states that are included in a healthcare compact. HB2553 even has a pledge that reads (I’m currently standing with my hand on my heart as I write this-cue the patriotic music.)
“The member states shall take joint and separate action to secure the consent of the United States Congress to this compact in order to return the authority to regulate healthcare to the member states consistent with the goals and principles articulated in this compact. The member states shall improve health care policy within their respective jurisdictions and according to the judgment and discretion of each member states.”
Amen – ok I added the amen part, but this is KS. I’ll assume they left just forgot the amen.

So let’s break this down – KS has voted to remove Obamacare and put the authority of healthcare oversight back to the states. States can opt-in to this health care compact.
Quick question – what if all 50 states opt in? Does it then become a federal program?
I know, stop over thinking this Aimee. The main goal is to get KS away from Obamacare. Here’s the dealio – the health care compact doesn’t exist.
Let that sink in for a sec….KS House voted to opt-out of Obamacare in favor of a healthcare compact that doesn’t even exist. Read here for more info on the bill.
Since the healthcare compact is hypothetical, we can only assume that the new healthcare compact will only cover hypothetical illnesses.
So attention Kansas citizens! If you are suffering from the following you will be covered in the new Healthcare Kansas Compact:
• A case of the Mondays.
• Kimyeitis – the nauseous feeling you get when you see Kim and Kanye West do absolutely anything these days.
• Whiteaholicism – the illness that causes people to wear white after Labor Day and before Memorial Day.
• Parallel Parking Syndrome – the illness that makes it impossible for most people to parallel park with any accuracy.
• Loud Cell Phone Disease -this debilitating illness that makes it impossible for most to talk at a normal level on their cell phones in any public places.
• Candy Crushitis – the inability to stop playing candy crush until you have successfully crushed every jelly.
• MarchMadnessphobia – the fear that your college basketball bracket is at any minute going to turn to junk.
This is just the tip of the iceberg in what the Health Care Compact is going to cover.
What is very real about this bill is it asks that the states who are part of the health care compact receive full funding from the federal government.
(I can’t stop laughing). Let me get this straight – you want to opt out of a federal program in favor of a hypothetical program and you want FULL federal government funding to do so? There is some saying about a caking and eating it that comes to mind.
What isn’t funny is there is no provision in the bill exempting Medicare. Call your aging parents – KS just voted to make the very successful federal program of Medicare a state-run program.
(That sound you heard was my mother screaming, “Like hell they are going to mess with my Medicare.”)
Now that the Kansas House has established themselves as the expert in passing bills based on hypothetical things, I can only assume next up will be bills including:
• Building unicorn farms throughout Kansas;
• Creating the only national space alien landing pad;
• Establishing Kansas as the tooth fairy headquarters.
Way to go Kansas. This bill really corners the market on ridiculous!



Do I vote Republican? The drama continues….

So it’s been some journey since I wrote my initial article about becoming a Republican.  You might remember, it was in response to the HB2453 bill in Kansas.  The bill passed the House, but then died before reaching the Senate.  The article was written  out of frustration on what keeps happening in Kansas – far right Representatives introducing extreme legislation in my state.

My article encouraging people to vote as a Republican in Kansas in order to participate in the primaries was not a new idea. I did, however,  receive an amazing response – both good and bad.  Both on my blog and in the Kansas City Star article, I received close to 80 emails with people expressing the same type of frustration that I have.  How can the average, reasonable-minded citizen stop what is happening in Kansas?

E-mail after e-mail told me that there were people out there who did it all the time – voted as a Republican in name only  in order to vote in the Kansas primary.  It was almost like a secret club and one person even suggested we come up with a secret handshake.  Then there were other comments posted that I was a traitor, deceptive, disgusting, a liar, working the system., etc. etc.  There were even a handful asking me to move to Missouri – Kansas wouldn’t miss me.

Well, first thing is you can relax Missouri, I’m not moving across the state line.  I’m a Kansas girl and I’ve always been a Kansas girl ever since my family moved here in the early 70s.  I love Kansas – the people, the schools, the state.

I’ve had numerous conversations regarding my article.  What will I do?  What will I tell other people to do?

Here is what I’ve decided -

1. Get to know your district.   Every district is different.  Who are the candidates?  Does your district have a primary? Does your district have a strong Democrat running?  If so, then it isn’t a good idea to vote for the moderate in the primary so the moderate goes up against a Democrat in a general election.  If you don’t have a strong Democrat, then do it!  Vote Republican and vote in the moderate.

2. Push your party to come up with strong, moderate candidates – both Republican and Democrat.

3. Get involved.  If you find a candidate that reflects your views, get out and volunteer for their campaign.  Your vote counts and so does the vote of your neighbors.  The candidates need your time and your money.  Participate in the process.

4.  If you are a Republican, consider voting for a Democrat for Governor.  Paul Davis has a real shot at beating Sam Brownback.  Brownback sets the tone for this type of extremism in Kansas.  Let’s all work together to get him out of office in the next election.

Ultimately I am and will always be a Democrat, however, I am standing by my previous article that I will vote Republican if it means more moderates get elected.  I think it is a reasonable strategy.  If you don’t like it, put pressure on your Republican Representative to stop with extremist legislation.  Stop the sonograms in the Capitol, stop the Merry Christmas bills, stop the opt in sex-ed bills.  Stop with these crazy bills that ALWAYS will end up costing Kansas taxpayers millions in the court system.  Tell your Representative to stay focused on building the  economy, attracting new business to Kansas and providing a good education for our Kansas kids.

The one thing I am is absolutely committed to fighting extremism in Kansas.  I will continue to write about it and support candidates, both Republican and Democrat, that best reflect the views of moderate voters.  I do believe if we come together as moderates, we can successfully get people to stop asking…”What’s the matter with Kansas?”

My Craigslist ad for the Kansas City RNC

My hometown, Kansas City, is part of the final eight cities in a bid to host the next Republican Convention.  I feel good about my city winning the bid.  Kansas City is an amazing place filled with great restaurants, nightlife and excellent people.  I realize that the convention will bring with it “Up to 40,000 visitors, millions of dollars in economic activity and the national spotlight when Republicans gather to formally nominate a presidential candidate.”

As a Democrat, the idea of 40,000 “visitors” a.k.a. Republicans taking over my town doesn’t have me jumping up and down with joy, however, even I understand the economic benefits that would come with winning a convention of this size.

Never willing to pass up a good opportunity, I am currently writing a Craigslist ad to lease my apartment out to a RNC visitor needing a place to stay.

Republican Bungalow You Won’t Want to Miss

2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment located in the heart of Republican country.  You will feel right at home in this updated apartment featuring:

  • Down pillows on the bed to rest your head after a long-hard day of thinking about the War on Christianity.
  • A large television pre-programmed to record every Duck Dynasty.
  • Large closets to hold all of your Brooks Brother suits.
  • A refrigerator filled with Kansas City beef to help satisfy that trickle down appetite.
  • Close to expensive boutiques and country clubs that cater to the 1%.
  • A variety of Dr. Seuss books to prepare for the next Government shut down.
  • A Bible
  • A comfortable couch where you can sit down and rest after figuring out how to cut benefits for millions of underserved Americans.

Prior to your arrival I will:

  • Remove all copies of Mother Jones and Vanity Fair
  • Throw out all remaining containers of couscous and hummus
  • Update my music collection to include artists other than the Indigo Girls
  • Put my Obama/Biden sign out of sight
  • Replace my Hemp lotion with an Axe Body Spray
  • Hide all t-shirts saying “my body, my choice”

Seeing is believing so don’t let this opportunity pass you by!


For up-to-date news on the latest for Kansas City’s bid for the convention click here:

HB2453 – one person’s “hiccup” is another person’s belch

We all know about HB2453 – the anti-gay bill that was proposed and the House passed in Kansas.  The bill eventually died, but Ray Merrick, R-Stillwell and House Speaker recently responded to increasing criticism that the Kansas house is a circus:

“How many bills do we deal with in a year’s time? And to say that we got one hiccup so therefore we don’t know what we’re doing,” Merrick said. “I don’t sit here day after day after day going through bills that we passed and all the mistakes in them.” Read more here:

Cue him unfurling his fan and saying in his deepest southern drawl…”well bless our little hearts, we just got a wee bit carried away. Silly us.” Giggle. Giggle.


One hiccup?  One hiccup?  He is calling a bill that would allow people to deny service to a group of people solely because of who they love a “hiccup”? I would call it a lot of things a belch or maybe even a fart, but a hiccup?


Lets not forget that the bill PASSED.  It was much more than a little oopsie daisey.


Representative Merrick, I’m sure there is nothing that you would like more than to have this whole nightmare go away, but it won’t.  Voter like me and others in the state of Kansas who are outraged over HB2453 will make sure that this won’t go away like an innocent little hiccup.


There is rumor that this bill is going back to the draft stages and will be reintroduced at some point.  I hope you remember this little “hiccup” as a painful, chronic condition that keeps you up at night.  This type of ugliness has no place in Kansas.

An open letter to businesses in Kansas and Missouri

Dear Kansas and Missouri business owners,

This letter is to Kansas and Missouri business owners who feel like their religious liberty is being violated by serving gay customers.  HB2453 in Kansas recently died in the state Senate after the House voted to approve the measure.  I understand that the “powers that be” are working on rewriting the bill so we can expect it to make a dreaded comeback soon enough.  Now there is SB913 out of Missouri introduced by Senator Wayne Wallingford.  It basically mirrors the Kansas bill.

Since these bills are taking up oodles of time and wasting tons of taxpayer dollars, I propose a simple solution-write to me if you business objects to serving gays and I will post it on my blog.  We can start a discrimination…I mean anti-gay directory so the public will know where you stand on the issue.  I mean why just keep it between you, your God and the customer you deny service to? Lets make it known so we can avoid any uncomfortable interactions in the future.  The other added benefit of making anti-gay businesses public is those of us who aren’t gay can also decide whether or not we want to do business with you.  I’m sure your concern over your religious intolerance extends to people who support those you are so against.  Let’s have the free market work this whole thing out.

You can just write me your business name and a list of people you don’t want to do business with so we can be sure your religious convictions remain intact.  We don’t have to limit it just to homosexuals since the Bible lists out so many things that are wrong.

Here’s an example of how the directory will work:  Aimee’s Craft Shop  Does not do business with: Gays, women who have had abortions, women who use birth control, people who have cheated on their spouses, liars, people who don’t honor their parents, etc.

Lets take the guesswork out of the entire thing and just put it out there.  Why hide behind politics to do your dirty work?  I know I am against spending my money at businesses who would deny service to homosexuals.  If I need a plumber, I would like to know if they would fix the toilets of gay friends or not.  That might help me make my decision.  The least I can ask is that you let me know who you are.  I’m sure others probably feel the same way I do.

So how about it?  Lets give Topeka and Jefferson City a rest.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Yours in favor of the free market,


Dr. Milton Wolf – My 2 rules for social media

My favorite story of the day comes from Senate candidate Dr. Milton Wolf.  The super-distant cousin of Barack Obama, Milton Wolf is running against Senator Pat Roberts.  (Obama can still be heard asking, Dr. Milton who?)

Dr. Milton Wolf is a practicing radiologist and running as a Tea Party candidate in Kansas.  The self-described “The Arch Nemesis of ObamaCare” can be found providing tweet after tweet about the problems with Obamacare and even wrote a lengthy book outlining his problems with Obamacare.  Wait, the book is only 38 pages.  Strike the word “lengthy”. He wrote a book outlining his problems with Obamacare:

Let me save you the 15 minutes it takes to read the book.  Here’s a summary:

I’m related to the President. I hate Obamacare. I’m an authority, because I’m a doctor and I’m related to the President. The End.

So now Dr. Wolf finds himself in hot water over a series of Facebook posts of x-rays that he found either 1. funny or 2. educational. Evidently he posted pictures of gunshot victims on his Facebook wall and people provided colorful commentary regarding the posts.

From the Topeka Capital Journal:

“In a separate Facebook comment, Wolf wrote that an X-ray of a man decapitated by gunfire resembled a wounded alien in a “Terminator” film and that the image offered evidence people “find beauty in different things.”

Uh oh….

Now I haven’t seen the Facebook posts, but now might be a good time to review Aimee Patton’s 2 rules for social media:

1. What you think is funny, may actually not be funny.  A person’s head blown off is funny?  Hell, I’m not a doctor, so I’ll take your word for it.  Doesn’t sound very funny to me.

2. Whatever you post on social media, be prepared for it to come bite you in the butt.  I’ll use myself as an example.  I cut my middle finger on a can of beans not too long ago.  I had six stitches in my finger.  I took a picture of myself flipping off the camera and I thought I was HI-LAR-IOUS!  Turns out some people didn’t think I was so funny.  Oopsie – I took the picture down.  Lesson learned.

What’s the big difference here? Oh that’s right – I’m not running for US Senate.

Now it seems the hits to Dr. Milton Wolf just keep coming.  His practice was named in a lawsuit about price-fixing.  A former employee is suing the company.

“His lawsuit accuses Alliance of an illegal “price-fixing scheme” designed to prevent competition and drive up costs for health care services such as X-ray and MRI diagnoses.”

Now may be a good time to review Aimee Patton’s 2 reasons people hate healthcare:

1.  It’s so expensive.

2.  It’s so expensive.

Healthcare is crazy expensive and finding out that a potential Senate candidate is allegedly involved in price-fixing to drive up pricing on a service that some people may need is a BIG problem.  I’m speaking from experience after paying for 3 MRIs this past month for a total of $1,000 out-of-pocket costs with insurance coverage, so you can see why I have my panties in a wad after hearing this.  (If you enjoy reading this blog, please consider donating to the Aimee Patton fund c/o…)

Dr. Wolf, this might be a great  time to take a break from running for Senate and take up a hobby like writing another book. How about this time try writing one that is longer than an average college essay.



#KSLEG A blogger’s plea to stay in session

Dear Kansas Representatives,

I need to point out that bloggers and comedians across the country are outraged!  Paul Davis-D from Kansas has suggested closing the legislative session in Kansas 20 days early.  Estimates are it could save the state $1.3 million dollars by closing up shop early.  What’s a little money when we are having so much fun I ask?

Bloggers like myself are outraged at the very idea that they would shut down this crazy-train early.  The Kansas legislature is the mother ship where I get my best material.  Lately it’s coming fast and furious almost on a daily basis.

Think about it. So far this year we’ve debated:

1. The No Shirt, No Shoes, No Gays bill

2. The spankings are A-OK bill.

3.  The just say no to sex-ed in schools bill

4.  The it’s your fault we’re divorcing you bastard bill

5. The federal government you can take your gun laws and shove it bill

I have admittedly taken some liberty with the names of these bills, but I beg you Kansas lawmakers, don’t shut down early.  This is by far the BEST entertainment I’ve had in a long, long time.  Once you shut up shop and go home what am I left with?

I’ve already watched Season 2 of House of Cards.  What would I do without the always entertaining twitter feed of #KSLEG?  Please Kansas legislature, stay in session until the bitter end. Don’t force me to focus my efforts on productive things like volunteer work and participating in my kid’s PTA.  Keep the circus in session.  I, like so many, have been highly entertained.

Yours in circus-like government,


KS HB2620 asks for KS kids to be bullied.

Dear Kansas Republicans,

Now that I’m a Republican, I feel like I have to reach out to you about something that is concerning me.  I found out that there is a new bill up for debate – HB 2620.  What is HB 2620?  It’s a opt-in sex education bill for our Kansas schools or as I like to call it the “put your fingers in your ears, yell LA LA LA and pretend our teens aren’t having sex” bill.

The bill establishes a mandatory opt-in program for sex education. It prohibit the display or distribution of instructional materials on health and human sexuality to any student whose parents didn’t opt-in.

Now I was a teenager once and nothing says bullying from other kids like having to sit out sex education class because mommy won’t let you go.  What are you going to do with the kids who opt out?  Line them up in the hallway while everyone else learns about the birds and the bees?  I thought Kansas was an anti-bullying state.  Bills like this ASK for kids to bully other kids.

Now I could list off all of the facts that support sex education in schools – like this one from the Guttmacher Institute:

Strong evidence suggests that comprehensive approaches to sex education help young people both to withstand the pressures to have sex too soon and to have healthy, responsible and mutually protective relationships when they do become sexually active.[23]

but I won’t bore you with stat after stat.  Here’s I feel like I need to do ask a very important question….

Do you not have  enough to do in Kansas?  Seriously….what’s up with bills like this?  I can tell you that my road looks like crap outside my apartment and I pass strip mall after strip mall sitting empty.  How’s that recruiting of new business to Kansas thing going?

Please stop wasting taxpayer money and time with bills like this.

Vote no on HB 2620.

Thank you,




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