The State of the Union is this week. For those of us who love politics, it’s our Super Bowl, our World Series, our Olympics. Ok, you get my point. It’s a big freaking deal. Obama is probably already practicing with his teleprompter and I’m getting ready as well.
How do I get ready for the State of the Union?
There is a lot to do.
- Will I eat popcorn or ice cream during the speech?
- The drinking game that I play has a special word that when said, requires everyone to drink. Is the word going to be…fiscal cliff, semi-automatic weapons, budget crisis?
- I’ve got to get my bet in on the color of Obama’s tie. I pick red this year.
This is all serious stuff for a serious political analyst like me. Then I get comfy in my favorite jammies and the games begin. How many standing ovations will there be? Will anyone on the GOP side get caught rolling their eyes? Can I name that politician before the commentator names him/her? Can I watch the entire speech without my ADD kicking in and I start changing channels to Honey Boo Boo or My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding?
After the big speech there is the rebuttal. The rebuttal from the other party is the most memorable part of the State of the Union. Think back through the years and all of the rebuttals. For every State of the Union, there is a rebuttal. Whether it is a Democrat or Republican as President, the other side always has a chance to make their points.
Remember, during the Clinton era there was the rebuttal by….oh it slips my mind right now, but I know it was great.
Then during Bush’s Presidency there was that one year that what’s his name did the rebuttal. Oh I’m sure it will come to me in a second. That was such a great speech. I’m sure his name and that speech will come to me in a second.
Oh think about Bush senior’s time, there was….oh never mind. The point is all of these rebuttals regardless of side make a memorial impression on the American people. Picking the right person to give the rebuttal is key.
This is my take on how the GOP picked Marco Rubio to give this year’s rebuttal.
So Reince Priebus, the head of the RNC, pulls out his Rolodex. Gen Y – Google “Rolodex”. Waiting…waiting…filing my nails…waiting..
Ok, we’re back.
So he pulls out his Rolodex to find names of who could give this year’s rebuttal.
We all know that the GOP has an image problem. So Mr. Priebus needs to find someone who doesn’t meet that criteria.
First, no one 65 and older. The person giving the rebuttal can’t be on Medicare since GOP is pitching a fit over Obamacare. That cuts the Rolodex more than in half. Oh who are we kidding, more than three-fourths.
Next step, no males or to be more specific, no white males.
Now the GOP is down to about 5 politicians to choose from that fit the criteria.
After a quick game of iney, meaney, miney, moe – they decide on Marco Rubio. Hey that rhymes. Not intentional – that was funny.
Since all of the previous rebuttals in the past 50 years, oh hell, in the past 100 years have been so memorable, I have some advice for Marco. When it’s your turn, grab a mic and say,
“You know what he said? We think the opposite. Peace Out.” Drop the mic and walk away.
I dare you. I’ll be watching, that is unless there is a compelling Honey Boo Boo.
Game on Washington!