What Real Housewives, “The Situation” and Slavery all have in common

Dear Radar Online:

First let me tell you that I adore your site. When I am worn out from reading the latest headline from our nation’s dire economic situation, the recent conflict in Mali, or where we stand with our nation’s polarizing political system, I turn to you for the latest in juicy celebrity gossip.

You are always there for me. I love you, because you are never drenched in lots of video footage that can clog my beloved iphone. Your articles are short, sweet and always shallow. Yes, I want to know who is coming back to the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Yes, I want to know all about Snooki’s pregnancy and yes I want to know who has the best beach bodies this season. A girl’s head can hurt trying to think about Middle East peace all day. I need me some good Bravo gossip to round my day out.

It was last night that I settled in to watch DWTS and channel flipped to the basketball tournament that I went to your iPhone app. There it was as I slowly exhaled to find out why Khloe and Lamar were both crying when they found out about his trade. Ahh…an article about JLo being raunchy with her boy toy. Love it! An article about George Zimmerman – o.k. you get a pass for being topical. You are back online with a post about Tamara Barney breaking down sobbing when her divorce was finalized. Nicely done. Next article, transgender beauty queen kicked out of pagent. This is why I love ya Radar Online!

Next article, give me more of what I come here for Radar Online…slavery. Excuse me? Slavery..like American slavery? We aren’t talking about Madonna in her kinky sex slavery 1990 days are we? Nope, we are talking about the horrific time in American history that most American would like to forget. The real deal, African American slavery.

Here’s the link to prove I’m not making this up: http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/04/american-slaves-photos-last-generation-interviews

Believe it or not, I was an American history major in college. I have studied extensively about slavery in America. I actually have many of the slave narratives that they are talking about in this article on my Kindle. The slave narratives were one of the first things I downloaded onto my Kindle when I received it a few years ago for Hanukkah. (These slave narratives have been available from the Library of Congress for a while. They are free to download to Kindle and I recommend that you download them if you want to learn about Americans in this country who managed to rise up against every imaginable obsticle to find their place in among people who once owned them. The narratives will help shape your opinion about current issues such as poverty, welfare and race in America. These narratives were made during the FDR administration when people were put to work to record the stories of freed slaves in America before they died out and their stories were lost forever. (I’m sure now the GOP would declare this some sort of a socialist project, but I think it was pure brilliance.)

What the HELL is this type of story doing on Radar Online? Now at the bottom of Radar Online’s stories they suggest “stories you might also like”. After reading about these people who were in bondage most of their lives and lived to tell the tale, here are some of thes stories I might also like:

Khloe Kardashian OK with her mom calling her fat. (I get that Khloe – my mom often tell me I need “a little color” when I need lipstick)

Desirable or Delusional? Columnist Claims Women Hate Her Because She’s Just Too Beautiful. (my vote – delusional)

Dog Day Afternoon at the Beach! Bounty Hunter Duane Chapman and Wife Reveal Their Beach Bods.

It goes on to show Coco’s wardrobe malfunction, etc. etc.

Thanks Radar Online. I’m sure these former slaves would also enjoy their stories of once being considered property being linked with Khloe Kardashian’s weight issues and Coco’s boob slip.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!!

Radar Online – please, please, please stick to what you do best. Educate me on all of the reality television shows on Bravo. Tell me why JLo shouldn’t date her boy toy. Give me an update on the latest Halle Berry custody dispute, but please stay out of the business of putting a story about American slavery before a story about “The Situations” prescription pill problem. It just seems so icky.

Thanks,

A faithful reader

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My thoughts on PR nightmares, Rick Santorum and the Kardashians

Wide range of topics, I know.  Hey, it’s my blog so I’m going to write about what I want.  Well for all three of you who keep up with my Midwest Voices posts, you might have noticed that I goofed.  Not to relive the entire saga, but I wrote about a stupid abortion bill and the bill I wrote about was last year’s stupid abortion bill instead of this year’s stupid abortion bill.  To my horror, the KC Star pointed this out to me and today I wrote an “apology”.  My first lesson in public humiliation 101.  So I am now doing what I normally do when I make an ass out of myself: go through various public figures who have also made major asses out of themselves and wait for my low dose xanax to kick in to alleviate my overwhelming anxiety.

The xanax has not yet kicked in so I am marinating in anxiety.  Let’s go through my list of people who have screwed up worse than me.  First one who comes to mind is Eliot Spitzer.  He hired a call girl while coming down on organized crime.  He ruined his bright future in politics and still got his own show on CNN.  Granted it got yanked for low ratings, but his ego seems untouched and he is still destined to do great things, in his mind anyway.  Second, good old Bill Clinton.  We all know what he did with Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office.  No details of my sex life have been publicized and crashed the web so I’m good there.  He did still manage to have an incredibly successful presidency, so there is hope for me yet to survive this latest embarrassment.  I know I am not going to be President, but I can finally say I stopped looking at him and thinking about him receiving a blow job.  Maybe people will stop thinking about me as the gal who screwed up abortion bills.  See where my mind goes with this stuff.  Roseanne Barr, she managed to screw up the National Anthem and Americans went ape shit crazy.  I think she was the most hated woman in the United States at one point.  Now she lives on a nut farm in Hawaii and I believe she is high most of the time.  I hear she is even running for President under the Green Party.  Anything is possible people.

If these people can withstand public embarrassment, then there is hope for me yet.  Maybe a good night sleep, sharing this blog with all 7 of my readers will make me feel better.  Sometimes I wish my ego was Trump sized so I could easily brush this stuff off and believe my own bullshit, but I might need a few happy hour drinks this weekend to get over this one.  Those who come in contact with me, please tell me it’s going to be o.k., but do not remind me I asked you to say that.

One to one of the biggest embarrassments on television: The Kardashians.  I was not going to blog about them yet, but every time I turn on E! the same two episodes are on.  I am taking that as a sign from God that I am suppose to blog about them and who am I to ignore God?  The first one I keep catching 10 terrible minutes of is when Kourtney decides she is going to start “couponing”.  She gets herself a 3 ring notebook and some laminated sheets probably from the concierge service at the hotel she is staying at and starts clipping coupons for things like toilet paper, paper towels and things for darling Mason.  Here’s the deal Kourt, when you have your bellman carry up your great finds from the local warehouse club you do not need to be couponing.  Leave those treasures on the shelf for the real people who do not have a staff in the lobby of their home, a.k.a. a hotel, to carry them up.  If someone replenishes your toilet paper every day because you have maid service in your hotel room, you do not need to be hoarding toilet paper for when times are tight.  I love it when she meets a fellow couponer in the lobby of the W hotel to share coupons.  Does anyone else find this insulting?  She claims her family finds her “frugal”.  Is that because she only buys 2 pairs of Jimmy Choos instead of 3 pairs of Jimmy Choos when the spring collection comes out?

On to the little Ks.  The 2nd episode that I catch over and over again is the Sweet 16 episode where young Kendall is becoming a lady and momma Kris wants to throw her a Sweet 16 party.  Now momma Kris wants to take her and 74 of her closest friends to the Bahamas.  Momma K probably didn’t spend a dime on this little vaca, because the resort probably is picking up the tab for the entire thing.  The resort is no dummy.   They  know they will receive tons of free publicity from hosting little K and all of her BFFs.  Kendall will not have it!  She does not need all of that.  She suddenly decides that it is too over the top and wants to show her family how down to earth she is by having something smaller.  That may be the lifestyle her family has decided to live, but not her.  She is just a regular gal.  Screen shot to Momma K talking about how proud she is of little K showing her what is important. Momma K spends five minutes patting herself on the back for being such a great momma and raising such a down to earth daughter.   Hallelujah and amen, get this girl to the church because I believe we have found the next Mother Theresa.

We end by seeing the results of what a regular type gal like Kendall does for her Sweet 16.  Just like I did (insert eye roll), she has just a small affair on a roof top of one of the most fabulous hotels in the area.  I believe her big sis speed dials one of many rapper friends on her iPhone to keep it real while all of Kendall’s friends jam out.  I am sure that this little shin dig put Mamma K back about $80,000 or so.  Nothing like showing America what it’s like just to be a regular girl turning 16 instead of some privileged Kardashian.  Shout out to Kendall for keeping it real.  I am sure her next stop after this party will be mission work in the Congo.

On to my last rant, Rick Santorum.  I watched his victory speech last night from St. Charles, MO.  Even I was a little excited for him.   I felt like he was Sally Field during her awards speech, “you like me, you really like me.”  Simmer down there Rick.  About as many people voted for Rick yesterday as voted for our homecoming queen at my college.  Don’t unpack the kid’s Ikea bunk beds in the Lincoln bedroom just yet Santorum family.  The fact remains, your campaign is still broke, you do not stand a chance against Obama and nobody is buying the victory speech about freedom.  These victories do buy you more chances to wear that sweater vest and keep going.  The people who declare a War on Christmas every year are counting on you, so keep fighting Rick.  I will just sit back and continue to enjoy the show.

I do feel better now.

Launching Pleasantly Eccentric

I have decided it’s time.  It’s time for me to launch another blog.  I’ve had a few blogs in the past.  I had a blog called the Road to Adoption about my journey in adopting my beautiful daughter.  I had another blog called Tush Face that I took down a few years ago.  Quick story behind that blog- I was tired of trying to find cute names for blogs that were all taken.  Everyone has a blog these days and that means that all the blog names that are clever are taken.  So in a fit of rage I decided to type a name that I knew no one had.  It was the pet name that my father gave me as child.  Tush face-explains a lot about me in just two words.  He never said it in a mean way.  It was meant the way other dads called their girls “Princess” or “Sweetie”.  Anyway, I typed Tush Face and sure enough that blog name wasn’t taken.

Well I named this one “Pleasantly Eccentric” and sure enough that one wasn’t taken either.  A guy I dated long ago once described me in this way.  I liked the description, not the guy, so I kept it.  I know to read between the lines it means nicely weird, but I’ll let you decide when you read my blog.

In full disclosure, this blog may be littered with grammatical errors.  Get over it.  I’m all about content and I wasn’t an English major.  I was a history major and it has taken me a long way to a life of riches.  (I’m living in my mother’s basement right now, in the middle of a divorce and trying to save my struggling business, but I am awesome at Jeopardy.)

This just in: Susan G Komen restores grant funding to Planned Parenthood!  Power to the People – the Pro-Choice People.  Finally we win one!  It is so rare these days that the pro-choice movement actually wins one that doesn’t involve many court proceedings and challenging the Constitution, but it looks like in the court of public opinion, the pro-choice movement won!  Congratulations and it has been a long time coming.

Anyway, I hope you comment on stuff you like and don’t like.  I’m sure there will be things up here that will satisfy both.  I am going to write about politics, foreign affairs and of course celebrities!  I read Radar Online with just as much interest as the Washington Post.  I watch Meet the Press and Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  I am a walking contradiction.  For those of you who roll your eyes and say, “How can you waste your time on that reality television?” Get over your intellectual selves.  I can make an interesting argument for invading Iran and bombing their nuclear sites just as easily as I can discuss why Kylie Jennar should not go to the Bahamas for her 16th birthday like Kris wanted. (more on Kylie later)

I hope you enjoy and more to come later!

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