#KSLEG A blogger’s plea to stay in session

Dear Kansas Representatives,

I need to point out that bloggers and comedians across the country are outraged!  Paul Davis-D from Kansas has suggested closing the legislative session in Kansas 20 days early.  Estimates are it could save the state $1.3 million dollars by closing up shop early.  What’s a little money when we are having so much fun I ask?

Bloggers like myself are outraged at the very idea that they would shut down this crazy-train early.  The Kansas legislature is the mother ship where I get my best material.  Lately it’s coming fast and furious almost on a daily basis.

Think about it. So far this year we’ve debated:

1. The No Shirt, No Shoes, No Gays bill

2. The spankings are A-OK bill.

3.  The just say no to sex-ed in schools bill

4.  The it’s your fault we’re divorcing you bastard bill

5. The federal government you can take your gun laws and shove it bill

I have admittedly taken some liberty with the names of these bills, but I beg you Kansas lawmakers, don’t shut down early.  This is by far the BEST entertainment I’ve had in a long, long time.  Once you shut up shop and go home what am I left with?

I’ve already watched Season 2 of House of Cards.  What would I do without the always entertaining twitter feed of #KSLEG?  Please Kansas legislature, stay in session until the bitter end. Don’t force me to focus my efforts on productive things like volunteer work and participating in my kid’s PTA.  Keep the circus in session.  I, like so many, have been highly entertained.

Yours in circus-like government,

Aimee

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#KS launching a don’t bed before you wed campaign to reduce poverty

Last year Gov. Brownback put together a task force to take a long look at a serious problem facing our state – childhood poverty.  He brought together the best and the brightest to study, discuss and find a solution facing so many of Kansas’s most vulnerable population.

Finally on September 6th, the Governor’s task force on reducing childhood poverty rolled out their findings.

I put down the latest copy of People Magazine and read the 27 page report.

My favorite part of the report was this:

The task force acknowledges that the government’s ability to address poverty has historically been unsuccessful. Though government at the state and federal level continues to pour money into anti-poverty programs, poverty rates continue to grow, and out-of-wedlock childbirth has exploded. Government must be mindful of programs and policies that result in keeping individuals in poverty by disincentivizing full-time employment and marriage or incentivizing out-of-wedlock childbirths.

After 3 task meetings – the group has found a solution!  It is a 3 pillar approach that includes (drum roll please)

  • Education
  • Employment
  • Marriage

I will talk about the 1st and 3rd pillar.

I think we can all agree (liberals and conservatives) that education is the key out of poverty.  Without the foundation of education, one is almost GUARANTEED to repeat the cycle of poverty.  I applaud the task force and Governor Brownback for identifying this trend and making a commitment to do everything to stop this vicious cycle by showing a true commitment in making sure our Kansas children have the BEST possible education to make them competitive in the global job market.

Hold on a sec…what’s that?

Headline interruption:

Study: Kansas cuts K-12 education funding by fourth-most in nation

State reduces financing of public education 16.5% below 2008 level

From the report:

Michael Leachman, director of state fiscal research at the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities and co-author of the report, said state government reductions for schools weakened the nation’s ability to foster a well-educated, skilled work force.

“At a time when the nation is trying to produce workers with the skills to master new technologies and adapt to the complexities of a global economy, states should be investing more — not less — to ensure our kids get a strong education,” he said.

Hum…well this is awkward.  How about if we move on to third pillar?

Marriage!  Let’s all just get married and everything will be a-ok!  Get yourself to the chapel and no more poverty!

I even have the PR slogan “Don’t bed before you wed!”  It’s twitter length appropriate, it rhymes and I think it will probably sway young people who are ready to jump in the sack to wait a moment and head to their local church to get married for what I’m sure will be 60 years of wedding bliss.

The task force concluded that two parent households reduce poverty.  In order to address that they are recommending an eight-hour, pre-marital course and then they will eliminate the marriage license cost.  Consider that your wedding present – Mazel Tov from the State of Kansas!

Now If my math is correct – it’s $50 for a marriage license in KS divided by 8 hours for the course.  That means if your time is worth $6.25 per hour then you have a great way to spend some time!

I have no doubt this is going to go over with flying colors!  And by the way – you can use my slogan for FREE State of Kansas! You’re welcome.

Attention: Outrage in Fairway! People like me are moving in!

Dear Mr. Ridenour:

I understand you wrote an interesting letter today to my neighbors in Fairway.  The letter was in regards to the new Walmart that is opening up down the street.  Thanks for letting us all know where you live – 6128 Catalina.

Thank you for working so hard for the “betterment of our ward”.  What exhausting work it must be with the Walmart opening right down the street.  You best get busy planting flowers and making sure all of the “houses” are the appropriate color.  I am very concerned about something you point out in the letter -

“Walmart is closing it’s [sic] Roeland Park store when the new one is complete at Roe Ave. & Johnson Dr. When that happens all of their customers of the old store will shop at the new one. Our neighborhood will get noticed and some will want to move into it. BE HONEST with yourself. Most of them are of a different class in that they do not feel the desire of a beautiful neighborhood and maintaining property values. When they move in we will start to see junk cars in disrepair in front yards along with other trash, and down will go property values. BIG TIME!!!”

Read the entire article at http://pvpost.com/

I’m not sure exactly who you are referring to in this letter.  I’m going to just spin the minority wheel and decide for myself..  Spinning…spinning…

It has landed right between Hispanics and poor people.  Yes, i totally agree with you that we need to keep “those” people out of Fairway!  I agree that we….

Hold on a second!  Now that I think of it…I’m poor (trust me on this – not a pot to piss in right now) and I have a Hispanic daughter and guess what?  We live in FAIRWAY!

Awkward….

How is it possible that we managed to find a home in the Golden Triangle?  There are small pockets of  slums if you look hard enough.  Being poor, I’m constantly resisting the urge to trash my neighborhood.  I have to walk around saying, “my trash belongs in a trash can” or I will just spontaneously throw my garbage out in the street.  My car is in perfect working order, but I honestly can’t wait until it breaks down so I can park it in my front yard.

Now that I realize you are talking about people like me, what I am really wondering is if you have cootie spray?  It might come in handy in case my daughter and I walk by your house on our evening stroll.  Come to think of it, you are going to need A LOT of cootie spray when “those people” start moving in!

Hey I’m here.  At this rate anything is possible.

Good luck with your inappropriate suburban rage.

Yours in cooties,

Aimee

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Grab Your Gun – It’s a Picnic in Johnson County, KS!

It’s Sunday and that can only mean one thing in Kansas…

If you said a gun celebration picnic you would be correct!

Nothing…I repeat…NOTHING says macaroni salad good times like a gun celebration picnic.

Luckily I found one right here in my own backyard.  Here’s the 411 on the picnic:

Sunday, July 21, 2013 in Johnson County, KS at 3:00 there is a community picnic sponsored by the Johnson County Open Carry Group.  According to their Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/JohnsonCountyOpenCarry?ref=br_tf

Johnson County Open Carry
Presents
A CELEBRATION PICNIC
We have been successful in restoring some of our lost rights in Lenexa. It is now legal to openly carry loaded guns in a holster in most public places in Lenexa. There are some restrictions that you should be aware of but this was a good start on a long hard battle to restore all of our freedoms.

Now, the hard part is trying to decide which holster to wear.  So many choices so little time.  How about this little gem with the Book of Psalm on it?  It’s between this one and the other one I have with the commandment Thou Shalt Not Murder.

c1898b3aff9c40eeb97c3d26390bdfdepink-2__23852.1317275983.1280.1280

It’s a family picnic and nothing says childhood good times like my daughter bringing her rifle. Maybe when she is done with the slides and swings she can shoot a few rounds.

Aww..snap!  A person on the Facebook page asked if it was ok to bring rifles or just side arms.  Only side arms at this family friendly event.  Looks like little Susie will have to leave her rifle home this time.  One can only hope that one day it will be ok for little Susie to pack heat of her own so she doesn’t feel so left out.

With it being 90 degrees about 110% humidity, tempers may flare if there isn’t enough potato salad for all the guests.  Just in case, there organizer put out this warning:

We need to promote ourselves as rational, law-abiding citizens who are merely expressing their 2nd Amendment rights in accordance with Kansas (and now LENEXA) law. I have no doubt that everyone will be on their best behavior but it’s worth a mention.

Grab the sunblock and the pork rinds, but be sure to bring enough for EVERYONE!  How many is everyone?  No one is exactly sure since this is the first event of its kind in Johnson County.  We can only hope there will be MANY more because nothing says good times like public parks, kids and guns.

Now excuse me while I see how my jello mold is doing.  I need to add the marshmallows and grab my gun.  It’s picnic time!

Pictures courtesy of Gungoddess and PinkPistolHolsters

 

#KSleg – Holy Overreaction Batman! Guns and School Employees

Here’s the headline:

KS legislature would allow school employees to carry guns

http://www.kansascity.com/2013/03/12/4116802/kansas-is-contemplating-arming.html

Insert heavy sigh….

Let’s play the fact game shall we?

Fact by the a study out of the University of Pennsylvania studying 677 shootings over 2.5 years:

People carrying guns were 4.5 times more likely to be shot.

4.2 times more likely to be killed.

The conclusion was there a hyper-confidence when it came to people carrying guns that people who were not armed didn’t have.  They were more likely to put themselves in dangerous positions on purpose, increasing the likelihood to be shot.

It is more likely that my kid will be killed by lightning than shot by a mass shooter.

I know, this doesn’t work when it comes to the NRA lobby wanting everyone to have a gun.

According to the National Weather Service – 54 people are killed by lightning strikes each year.

Mass shootings by year and number of people from Alan Fox, Northwestern University Lipman Family Professor of Curriculum Law and Public Policy:

2009 –  27

2008 – 29

2007 – 23

From the American Academy of Pediatrics:

This statement reaffirms the 1992 position of the American Academy of Pediatrics that the absence of guns from children’s homes and communities is the most reliable and effective measure to prevent firearm-related injuries in children and adolescents.

Some more interesting stats: In 1997, 306 (7.2%) children and adolescents younger than 20 years killed by firearms died as a result of unintentional firearm-related injuries.

 

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/105/4/888.full

Let’s just ignore those silly docs and all those facts showing that kids are more likely to die from accidental shootings from guns and do the opposite by adding MORE guns to places that our kids frequent – schools.  Makes perfect sense  (more sarcasm).

From that liberal and non-credible  institution called Harvard:

To begin with, having a gun in the home is a risk factor for serious accidental injury and death. As Hemenway points out, death certificate data indicate that 680 Americans were killed accidentally with guns each year between 2003 and 2007. Half those victims were under the age of 25.

I’m sure that having guns in schools will in no way increase the possibility that my child will die from an accidental death from a firearm vs. a mass shooting. (sarcasm)

Now I can already feel pro-gun lobbyist typing out their response to me – “but it’s a deterrent to ward off would be gunmen.”

I’ve noticed how we don’t have any first degree murder now that we have the death penalty.  Deterrents work so well.  Also, since we have all decided that mass gunmen suffer from extreme forms of mental illness, I’m sure they are in their right mind enough to conclude deterrents when they are figure out where their next mass shooting should be.

Adding guns to schools by arming school employees actually increases the likelihood that my child will die from a shooting-an accidental shooting from school employees.  

More guns equal more chances my child will get shot.  Hey – I’m pretty good with math.  I credit great, unarmed teachers!  I understand that we all want to keep kids safe.  That is a great goal, but arming school employees isn’t the answer.  We need to keep our eye on the statistics and not over-react.  Just say no to this legislation!

 

 

 

 

 

#KSleg committed to debating vaginas

Great things are happening at the Kansas legislature!

Yesterday it was passing a huge abortion bill. 

Today it was debating new stripper laws.

What do both of these things have in common?

If you said the focus on a woman’s vagina – you are correct!

It seems that the Kansas legislature is obsessed with the female anatomy.  Both inside and out.  (Ba dum tshhh…Thanks..I’ll be here all week.  Don’t forget to tip your waitresses and try the Prime Rib!)

“We can’t seem to stop talk about the female body.  Yes, we realize that there are other things that need to happen in Kansas.  Our kids need to get educated.  We know we need to attract new business to Kansas. But hey, we are men.   One day it’s abortion and the next day it’s lap dances. Give a fella a break.” anonymous source.

Now the “lap dance” legislation was struck down today, but not after much debate and many twitter jokes.  

“If we are really considering becoming a state without income tax, we need our strip clubs to attract people.  Why else would people come to Kansas?  We don’t have oceans like Washington and Florida.  We can’t compete with Nevada with Vegas.  The best we can do is offer some great strip clubs.  Every year we debate strip clubs so we can attract the stripper lobby to Topeka.”  

What’s on the agenda for next week for our hard working Kansas lawmakers?  Probably some great boob or ass legislation.  

VAWA – KS and MO Reps for violence!

Dear Reps in Kansas and Missouri:

I am writing to those of you who voted against the bill known as VAWA.  In case you were confused on what you were voting for earlier this week, let me lay it out for you – it stands for VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN ACT.

Here is the list of shame, I mean a list of people who voted against VAWA:

Representing the great state of Missouri

Rep. Blaine Leukemeyer – R

Rep. Billy Long – R

Rep. Ann Wagner – R (on the voting record it listed only as Wagner. I hope, and I mean seriously God I hope, I have the wrong Wagner.  You would be the only woman I found voting against VAWA).

Representing the great land of Oz

Rep. Mike Pompeo – R

Rep. Tim Huelskamp – R

From what I understand the Republicans who voted against VAWA said they disagreed with the bill because it extended protection to the LGBT community, illegal immigrants and Native Americans.

I guess violence against white women is bad, but gays, Indians and illegals – you’re on your own.  Suck it up people.

Quick question GOP – how’s that re-branding of your party as a more compassionate and inclusive party going?  Just curious.

Sorry..don’t mean to get off track.

I’m guessing that our KS and MO representatives voted against VAWA just because it went with our general Midwestern theme lately of upholding our 2nd amendment rights above all else.  We’ve got a pro-violence theme going on here in the Midwest.  VAWA just doesn’t jive well with that.  We wouldn’t want to look soft now would we?  We are a bunch of bad asses.

I just want to provide an extra gold star shout out to Rep. Huelskamp from my state of Kansas who was one of only NINE GOP Congressman who opposed the Violence Against Women Act in its entirety.  Well done!  One of nine.  That’s something Rep. Huelskamp.

Attention Kansas voters – file that one away in the things we’ll remember for the next election cycle.

Anyway, I think your GOP re-branding strategy is going swimmingly.  I can’t wait to see what is up next.  Maybe there will be some new bill about killing puppies and bunnies or making it illegal for kids to have ice cream that you all can get behind.

Keep up the good work.  The votes for candidates with a D after their name are counting on it!

Sincerely,

Aimee

 

KS – Repealing Child Labor Laws

A new report came out Monday that showed during Governor Brownback’s tenure, child poverty rates had increased.  Child poverty rates have increased and those receiving temporary assistance had dropped.  http://www.kckansan.com/

There has been a 38% decrease in the number of families receiving assistance.  

The Kansas City Star reported during the weekend that the child poverty rate in Kansas had increased from 14.5 percent in 2008 to 18.8 percent.

Brownback said that the reason for the decrease was because families didn’t comply with the requirement of looking for a job.

“I think that is a pretty modest requirement,” Brownback said. “The best way to get out of poverty is a job,” he said.

Because of that, and Brownback’s continued belief of personal responsibility instead of government handouts, Kansas is about to take the drastic yet needed step of repealing child labor laws.

“Single mothers of very young children usually represent the poorest of the poor in Kansas.  These women can’t be out looking for jobs when they have young children to take care of.  There tend to be multiple children in these households.  To combat that problem we are asking that the oldest children in their households go out and look for work.  If they can walk, talk and tie their shoes they are fit for some sort of work.  It continues to send the message that government handouts are a thing of the past in KS.” Representative of the Task Force to Reduce Childhood Poverty

This step will increase the workforce in Kansas and make potential businesses consider moving to Kansas to take advantage of this young and vibrant workforce.

“Really it’s a win-win.  Kids get out of poverty and learn the long-term lesson of supporting their families.  It breaks that cycle of poverty.  It also shows the nation that we are a pro-work state and are willing to do what it takes to bring new business to Kansas.”  Governor Brownback

“This drastic step of repealing child labor laws goes along with the trend in Kansas to take us back to the good old days of simpler times.  Now that we encourage people to carry firearms daily and get back alley abortions, having our children back in the factories seemed like the next logical step.”  State Senator who wished to remain anonymous.

Until the new legislation can pass through the House and Senate in Kansas, families and children will continue to go hungry in Kansas.

“We will just call this a teachable moment.” said Governor Brownback

Rep. John Bradford KS – A Few Lessons About Facebook

Dear Rep. Bradford,

First, congratulations on winning your campaign in the KS House 40th District!  Now that you are a public figure, things are changing a bit.  I’m sure you learned a few lessons about being a public figure when you ran for office.  I was reading KSHB 41′s website and noticed you are coming under fire for your Facebook page.

According to the article you said, “I don’t think I would ever put anything on there that was intentionally offensive to anyone,” he said.

Read more: http://www.kshb.com/dpp/news/political/newly-elected-kansas-politician-possibly-violating-facebook-rules-over-posts-about-the-president#ixzz2Bikmt5W4

Like any concerned citizen would do, I went ahead and checked out your Facebook page for myself.  To me, like our glorious American system lays out,  you are innocent until proven guilty in this country.

https://www.facebook.com/john.bradford.752

I’m back after a quick browse and I have a few observations. I get that our politics don’t match.  No biggie here.  I’m all about building bridges now that the election is over.  This isn’t a Democrat vs. Republican thing just some constructive criticism so please take it as it is intended.

1. You posted this video:  

I watched the whole video.  It starts with some disturbing video of the Holocaust.  It is narrated by a sweet, young child’s voice equating Nazi Germany and mass genocide of 11 million people with not balancing the US budget and lying by American politicians.  Like I stated before, I’m no PR expert, but people can be a bit sensitive when it comes to equating mass genocide and anything that has to do with balancing a budget.  I am happy to include myself in this category.  I’ll just sum this up as a “teachable moment”.  No problem.  Everyone has to learn sometime.

2.  Another article about Nazis.  This one about Hitler Youth.  This time it’s FEMA:  http://beforeitsnews.com/opinion-conservative/2012/10/homeland-security-graduates-first-corps-of-obamas-brown-shirts-homeland-youth-2503808.html

From what I gather from this article, FEMA hired and trained a group of people that were in the age range of 18-24.   This article from a source called “Before It’s News” equates this new group of FEMA graduates with Hitler Youth.

Rep. Bradford, just between you and me.  Here’s another great “teachable moment” Rep. Bradford – Just an FYI,  Nazi Germany and the Holocaust was a horrible scar on history.  People take offense to it.  There is also a delete button on your Facebook page so you can actually delete posts.  Once someone educates you that mass genocide can be offensive, you can actually delete offensive posts.  I know..right…it’s amazing.  It took me a while to figure that out as well.  It’s that little tiny x at the top right of the box.  I wasn’t posting Holocaust stuff, more like Honey Boo Boo jokes that weren’t really funny, but I have hit the delete button more than once in my life.  Don’t even get me started on all the silly stuff I’ve put out on Twitter.

3.  Finally there is this great pic.  I’ll just recognize this as a difference of opinion on gun control.  Just remember we seem to have a bunch of mass shootings made easier with weapons like these.   Right or wrong (mostly right) people also can be a bit  uptight about “funny” pics like these as well.

I hope you have found this little Facebook 101 sensitivity training helpful.  Remember, no Nazi jokes, no genocide jokes and no mass shooting jokes and you should be fine.  I’ll be sure to remember to stay away from Honey Boo Boo jokes just to be safe.

I’ll leave you with this catchy phrase I just made up..”If you don’t want to take the political heat, just remember to hit delete.”

Your new Facebook “friend”,

Aimee

Pro-Life Candidates Get Biggest Message From Campaign

So it’s over.  50% of the country is celebrating and the other 50% is trying to figure out what the hell happened.  Let the campaign analysis begin.  Mittens lost.  Did Obama out campaign him?  Did his own party blow it for him?  Was it Sandy’s fault?  Christie’s fault?  The flag pin’s fault?  My fault?  Mitt was so close.  He was never close really.  I guess it depends who you ask and who you want to believe.

The one thing we can all agree on as a nation is the whole campaign system is broken. The good news is it goes well with our broken economy.  Kinda like the shoes matching the belt.   The reality is it isn’t changing anytime soon.  So here is my big take-away from this whole thing.

A very strong and direct message was sent to the Pro-Life Movement yesterday.  Now that this election is over, I feel like I can lay it all out here.  See, we all know what Akin said.   I think he never really believed that the female body had a way of “shutting the whole thing down” when it came to pregnancy.  I believe extreme Pro-Life candidates like Aiken who said OUTRAGEOUS things about women’s reproductive systems were really saying, “I am pro-life in all cases even rape and incest.”  They just didn’t have the real guts to lay it out so concretely.

Instead of just saying that, they knew that it would be highly unpopular with moderate Americans.  So they started tap dancing to try to cover-up these extreme views.  In fact, there was more tap dancing around this than the talent portion of the Miss Glitter Pageant of Toddlers and Tiaras.  The more they danced the worse it got.  By that time you had statements like Akin’s and Mourdock’s who had just justify pregnancy somehow so they blamed God or excuse me, said pregnancy from rape was what “God intended”.

What once was a movement that seemed unstoppable, the Pro-Life movement, suddenly came to an abrupt stop or at the very least hit an enormous speed bump.  It wasn’t that people reacted to how stupid these statements were and didn’t vote for these candidates.  That conclusion is far too simplistic. I believe there was also a reaction to the intent of the statement – the statement being abortion in all circumstances, even in times of incest and rape was unacceptable.  The American people stopped this type of candidate.  To be perfectly clear, I’m not saying the American people all became pro-choice and everyone now has a Planned Parenthood bumper sticker on their car, but they certainly sent a strong message that pro-life in all circumstances regardless of how the pregnancy occurred did not appeal to them.

As I sit in KS, or as Fox News abbreviated it last night – KA – the hub of Pro-Life extremism, I sit satisfied that what used to be the unstoppable Pro-Life movement finally received a strong message from their own party.  There are limits.  The American voter has limits.  Abortion in all circumstances is not something the American people ultimately believe in.  Abortion in times of rape and incest and in times when the mother’s life is at risk is something the American people find acceptable.  Akin’s loss was more about his intention behind his stupid statement and not just based on his statement alone.

Time will tell if the GOP will take this message to heart and really try to change things before 2016.  I have some ideas about changing the whole campaign  system.  For example – the primaries?  That process sucks if you are the running against an incumbent.  Lengthening the presidential term.  Four years isn’t enough.  Look at how long FDR had to get us out of the Great Depression.    Don’t get me started on the Electoral College.   Somebody in charge of this stuff give me a ring if you want some ideas.

In the meantime, the campaign is over….now what?  Ping-pong anyone?

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