Selfies just got all intellectual

Dear Mr. President,

Just a quick note from your small cheering section from Kansas.  (I know..I know..you probably didn’t think there were any Dems in the Midwest.  There are a few of us marinating in the land of Conservative Republicans.)  Anyway, just had to give you a shout out on the selfie at the Mandela funeral.

Yep..we all got a picture of it – thanks Roberto Schmidt of the AFP.

selfie

So there was some outrage that you took a selfie during a funeral.  I’m no Emily Post, but I’m thinking this wasn’t exactly Kosher.  I guess it could be worse…you could have been playing Angry Birds.

Anyway, cue Republicans freaking out  at your behavior during the funeral.  (BTW, Republicans “selfie” means self-portrait.)

Here is what I will say…America has one cool President.  Yes, there were two other world leaders in the selfie, but it really is all about you.

Why?  You forced every straight-laced, over-the-hill, white guy to say the word “selfie” during the news.  I mean Wolf Blitzer said “selfie”.  I guarantee you that we would have never had this if Romney had won.  If Mitt was there, Americans would have been talking about immigration reform or unemployment…but you took it to the next level and forced all Americans to become familiar with the word “selfie” and that is rock star!

Think about the influence you have.  Probably millions of Americans will now be taking selfies and they have you to thank.  No longer are selfies for Lindsay Lohan or Kim Kardashian.  Selfies just got all intellectual – I mean world leaders are taking selfies.  The whole photo-industry world should all run specials called “the Obama” – get your selfies printed on t-shirts, mugs and blankets.

Just in typing this blog, my spell check still thinks the word “selfie” is incorrect.  Catch up spell check, this is 2013 and selfies are here to stay!  You have a problem with that?  Take it up with the President of the United States.  

I’m hoping your popularity spikes with this move.  Healthcare?  Oh hell who knows?  Right now I’ve got to run and take some selfies just like my President.

Yours in favor of selfies and super cool Democrats,

Aimee

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Syria – let’s do this. No wait..let’s not do this. Should we do this?

Last night I was on Darla Jaye’s show on 980 KMBZ and I was FIRED UP!  The topic – Syria.  It was a spirited debate to say the least.  I was for a military strike and she was against.  Since I’m the liberal and she is the conservative, it felt like a Freaky Friday moment with Lindsay Lohan pre-adderal and coke and Jamie Lee Curtis pre-Activia.  I’ll let you decide who was who.

If the UN inspectors come back with information that the Syrian regime did in fact engage in chemical warfare against their own people, the US must act.  We cannot tolerate biological or chemical warfare being used  against their own people or used against foreign enemies by any country and the US MUST take action.  To not have a US unified front on this is inconceivable to me.

I get that we are war fatigued.  I blame the Bush administration for that.  But being “the home of the brave” means that we can stand up to our fatigue and still manage to do the right thing.  That is what makes this country great.

I get how ironic the situation is in that we elected Obama to get us OUT of Afghanistan and Iraq and now we are in a situation where we might go in to yet another country.  Syria is a unique situation where ignoring the facts might bring grave consequences in the long-term if we choose to turn our backs on the facts once they are presented.

This is so different from guns, missiles and bombs.  There are defenses to traditional types warfare no matter how small  Chemical and biological warfare has NO defense.  That is why we can’t tolerate it by any regime or terrorist group.  What’s to say that if these weapons get in the hands of the wrong people they won’t be used against us at some point.  If we do nothing it’s the same as saying we condone this type of warfare.

What I can’t believe is what I’m reading in comments sections by Americans who believe that the horrible video of the napalm attack by the playground in Syria has been staged by actors.  Are we that jaded?  Are we that bitter?  People actually believe that this video has been put on like some sort of MTV punk’ed video?  To find child actors who can scream that good- I’m sure Hollywood would love that.  That’s really sick people.

So what should to response to Syria be?  I can’t answer that.  I’m many things, but not an expert in military strategy.  I will wait to hear from the Obama administration and the Pentagon.  I just hope that the American people can find it in themselves to support this administration and put their “fatigue” aside, find their bravery and stand behind the President to do what is right.  That is what makes this country the home of the brave.

God bless America.

Rubio doesn’t deserve a pass for Watergate 2.0

Dear Sen. Rubio,

Well, I’m flattered. You must have read my blog about rebuttals not being memorable.  You gave a memorable speech!

I have a confession to make.  See after working an entire day, picking up my kid, cooking dinner, bathing my child, cleaning my house, dealing with a six-year-old melt down that probably was recorded on the Richter scale – I missed your speech.  I fell asleep in my modest, two-bedroom apartment in middle America.  I missed you telling me all the opportunities I have in America if I would just work harder, try harder and make it happen.

Turns out I missed much more than you stomping on my self-esteem…

I missed Watergate 2.0 (can’t take credit for this gem)

I watched the replay early this morning before work.

Senator Rubio – we’ve all been there.  We’ve all let nerves get the best of us.  It happened to me once when I was speaking at Kansas City’s Women’s Equality Day.  Yes conservative Kansas City, there is a Women’s Equality Day event held every year.  It’s sandwiched somewhere in between the “We Love Guns Day” and “We Hate Liberals” week.

Anyway, my stomach was flipping around like crazy and I was getting that hot-in-the-face feeling.  The lip licking began for me as well.   You know it’s all over then.    I didn’t know if I was going to throw up or run for the bathroom.  I made it through the speech, but I don’t remember much of it.  I don’t think my audience did either.  We’ve all been there Sen. Rubio.

All day I’ve been hearing people say ,”It’s refreshing to see that he’s just like us.”  and “Rubio taking a drink makes him more human.”

Not so fast Sen. Rubio…

Now I may sound harsh – not about the women’s equality part, but about the you’re not off the hook part.  We all agree that you are a smart politicians.  However, one of the reasons we can all agree that you were picked for the rebuttal of the State of the Union was   because of the “rebranding” of the Republican party.  We  all agree that you do not look like traditional members of the Republican party (see dictionary definition of GOP- white, older, men). You are a big fish in a small pond.   If you were a Democrat you would be a small fish in a big pond.  Lots of smart people are Democrats that reflect all different races, religions and sexual orientations.  Not so if you are Republican.  Therefore, you have a much larger chance of being picked for high-profile speeches like the rebuttal for the State of the Union.  This also means you have a much larger chance of being picked for other highly visible positions like Vice Presidential nominee or even Presidential nominee as this party re-brands itself.

See your speech actually  didn’t  say anything new about critical issues like women in combat or gay marriage that were discussed in Obama’s speech.  There was little in there about immigration – something that you brought up that is important to your family.  You may have been a minority giving the GOP rebuttal, but you were just a mouthpiece providing the same tired rhetoric that the GOP usually provides.  You just looked different from the usual GOP mouthpieces.  Don’t increase minimum wage, don’t raise taxes, blah blah blah…

Also, it doesn’t take a genius to tell you (trust me, I’m writing this) that the government WAS NOT responsible for the housing crisis in this country.  In fact, unregulated banks and mortgages were the problem for the out of control housing market in this country.

Thanks for humoring me – I was busting to make that point.

Back to my bigger point.  As a politician, it is likely that most of your words are written for you.  (I know America – next up Santa Clause isn’t real.)  We all like to believe that our politicians come up with these brilliant words themselves.  We like to believe that the speeches are crafted by your own hands, that this amazing political theater is of your own doing, but the harsh reality is that there are brilliant staffers and interns who are writing all these words, drafting all of this legislation and briefing all of you on what’s happening in your own halls.  It is not too much to ask that when you do have the national stage that you don’t screw it up.  It’s that simple.

To be fair, Obama stocked the room with victims of gun violence to prove his point about gun control.  I think it was brilliant, but I know the GOP hated every-standing-ovation-moment of it.  Ted Nugent most of all.  It is political theater and both sides are equally guilty or deserve Academy Awards depending on how much you love the system.

However, if an actor on stage can’t perform his lines, the audience doesn’t applaud him, because it makes him more “human”.  They boo his performance.  

Very few of us will ever have the opportunity to be on a national stage. Republicans will say it’s because we didn’t work hard enough.  Democrats will say it’s because we didn’t have enough opportunity.  Time will tell if the nation will forget this little blip of nerves.  You will probably have to endure SNL and Jon Stewart’s mocking for the next week. The GOP will continue to try to make this normal and try to humanize this response from you. I expect to see you on the late night show rounds laughing at  yourself.   I expect more.  It isn’t that you are Republican.  It is because you are a politician and I expect more from my politicians.

Politicians main role is to communicate.  Leave the crappy communication to people like me who don’t have much of a platform, don’t have staff and interns and who don’t get paid by taxpayers to do it.

Thank you and good luck in your recovery from this.  I don’t want to see anyone’s career ruined by a good sip of water!

Yours in quenching thirst,

Aimee

 

State of the Union and GOP Rebuttal – Game On!

The State of the Union is this week.  For those of us who love politics, it’s our Super Bowl, our World Series, our Olympics.  Ok, you get my point.  It’s a big freaking deal.  Obama is probably already practicing with his teleprompter and I’m getting ready as well.

How do I get ready for the State of the Union?

There is a lot to do.

  • Will I eat popcorn or ice cream during the speech?
  • The drinking game that I play has a special word that when said, requires everyone to drink. Is the word going to be…fiscal cliff, semi-automatic weapons, budget crisis?
  • I’ve got to get my bet in on the color of Obama’s tie.  I pick red this year.

This is all serious stuff for a serious political analyst like me.  Then I get comfy in my favorite jammies and the games begin.  How many standing ovations will there be?  Will anyone on the GOP side get caught rolling their eyes?  Can I name that politician before the commentator names him/her?  Can I watch the entire speech without my ADD kicking in and I start changing channels to Honey Boo Boo or My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding?

After the big speech there is the rebuttal.  The rebuttal from the other party is the most memorable part of the State of the Union.  Think back through the years and all of the rebuttals.  For every State of the Union, there is a rebuttal.  Whether it is a Democrat or Republican as President, the other side always has a chance to make their points.

Remember, during the Clinton era there was the rebuttal by….oh it slips my mind right now, but I know it was great.

Then during Bush’s Presidency there was that one year that what’s his name did the rebuttal.  Oh I’m sure it will come to me in a second.  That was such a great speech.  I’m sure his name and that speech will come to me in a second.

Oh think about Bush senior’s time, there was….oh never mind.  The point is all of these rebuttals regardless of side make a memorial impression on the American people.  Picking the right person to give the rebuttal is key.

This is my take on how the GOP picked Marco Rubio to give this year’s rebuttal.

download

 

So Reince Priebus, the head of the RNC, pulls out his Rolodex.  Gen Y – Google “Rolodex”.  Waiting…waiting…filing my nails…waiting..

Ok, we’re back.

 

So he pulls out his Rolodex to find names of who could give this year’s rebuttal.

 

We all know that the GOP has an image problem.  So Mr. Priebus needs to find someone who doesn’t meet that criteria.

First, no one 65 and older.  The person giving the rebuttal can’t be on Medicare since GOP is pitching a fit over Obamacare.  That cuts the Rolodex more than in half.  Oh who are we kidding, more than three-fourths.

Next step, no males or to be more specific, no white males.

Now the GOP is down to about 5 politicians to choose from that fit the criteria.

 

After a quick game of iney, meaney, miney, moe – they decide on Marco Rubio.  Hey that rhymes.  Not intentional – that was funny.

Since all of the previous rebuttals in the past 50 years, oh hell, in the past 100 years have been so memorable, I have some advice for Marco.  When it’s your turn, grab a mic and say,

“You know what he said?  We think the opposite.  Peace Out.” Drop the mic and walk away.

I dare you.  I’ll be watching, that is unless there is a compelling Honey Boo Boo.

Game on Washington!

 

 

 

 

 

Attention #NRA and politicians – idea to overhaul mental health you can’t ignore

Dear 2nd amendment advocates and pro-gun politicians:

I wanted to take a quick second to talk about something we both agree on.  Yes, I know it’s amazing that there is anything we both agree on, but in a time for unity in this country, I did find something.  The mental health system in this country is broken.  Your spokesman Wayne LaPierre said it many times that guns weren’t the problem and fixing our broken mental health system in this country is what needs to be a priority.  We definitely don’t agree on the first part, but we do agree on the 2nd part.  Quick note – LaPierre used the word “lunatic” repeatedly to describe the mentally ill in this country – step one might be to stop using the word “lunatics” to describe our mentally ill.  A little sensitivity training might go a long way.

Anyway, not to get off track.  We both agree that our mental health system in this country needs an overhaul.  There was a report released from the Committee on Population that compared US life expectancy rates to those of other similar nations.  We ranked #16 in life expectancy versus other nations:

The USA ranks at or near the bottom in nine key areas of health: low birth weight; injuries and homicides; teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections; HIV and AIDS; drug-related deaths; obesity and diabetes; heart disease; chronic lung disease; and general disability.

From the Committee on Population: The result is that the life expectancy for men in the United States ranked the lowest among the 17 countries reviewed, at 75.6 years, while the life expectancy for US women ranked second lowest at 80.7 years. The countries reviewed included Canada, Japan, Australia, and much of Western Europe.

So…injuries and homicide was listed.  We all know LaPierre’s famous statement, “the only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.”  I’m still waiting on my bumper sticker by the way.  What is interesting in this report is injuries – intentional injuries specifically –  a.k.a. suicide.

The number one way that men commit suicide – GUNS – handguns to be specific.

Now we will never if the men who committed mass shootings were suicidal and decided to kill innocent lives as part of their suicidal mission, but what we do know is that suicide in this country is reducing our male life expectancy.  We do know that men are four times more likely than women to have successful suicide attempts.  We do know that handguns play a major role in suicide.  We do know that in domestic violence death can be linked to homicide of the victim and suicide of the murderer.

To ignore these statistics is to be irresponsible to the commitment to “overhaul our mental health system”.  To ignore this is to ignore the big elephant in the room.  To get into someone’s head who is mentally ill to find what the triggers are, get them adequate counseling and monitor their medication to prevent further tragedies and suicides is one difficult if not almost impossible task unless effective mind reading is a new medical advancement.  Reducing the number of guns that get into the hands of people with mental illness is something that is very possible and a very good start.

Millions of lives depend on solutions like these.  You can’t ignore statistics.

Thanks for keeping all options on the table to help solve this American crisis.

Yours in keeping people alive,

Aimee

An Open Letter to the Tea Party – The Morning After the Fiscal Cliff

Dear Tea Party,

 

Whew..that was a close one!  We survived the fiscal cliff and didn’t go over in a barrel.  I think they are printing the commemorative t-shirts as we speak – “I survived the fiscal cliff 2012/2013!”

Talk about more drama than a Real Housewives of New Jersey episode.  I was waiting for Andy Cohen from Bravo to show up and do a Watch What Happens Live after the House vote last night.  So much for the pledge “no more politics as usual.”  Oh well, that’s Washington.

So, it’s the morning after and you have a big problem on your hands.  See, I was checking out your website:  http://www.teaparty.org

You have some pretty colorful language.

15 Non-Negotiable Core Beliefs

1. Illegal aliens are here illegally.
2. Pro-domestic employment is indispensable.
3. A strong military is essential.
4. Special interests must be eliminated.
5. Gun ownership is sacred.
6. Government must be downsized.
7. The national budget must be balanced.
8. Deficit spending must end.
9. Bailout and stimulus plans are illegal.
10. Reducing personal income taxes is a must.
11. Reducing business income taxes is mandatory.
12. Political offices must be available to average citizens.
13. Intrusive government must be stopped.
14. English as our core language is required.
15. Traditional family values are encouraged.

 

By the way, regarding this:  Commonsense, Conservative, Constitutional Self-Governance Is Our Mode Of Operation. Yes, we are a Christian nation. However, you do not have to be a Christian to enjoy freedom. The Tea Party welcomes all red-blooded U.S. Citizens.   Gee, thanks for allowing me and Jewish people like me to enjoy freedom.  I’m enjoying my freedom right now, the freedom of speech by the way by writing this letter and telling you that this is a bunch of junk.  Dang it!  There goes my New Year’s resolution of trying to be more kind.  Oh well, there is always next year.

So during the political drama last night, your tea party members weren’t only hesitating on the edge of the cliff, they were willing to shove America off the cliff.  Throwing us off the cliff would have resulted in the following:

For high earners, married couples making more than $222,300 but less than $397,000, rates would jump from 33 percent to 36 percent. For the highest earners, couples making over $397,000, taxes would rise from 35 percent to 39.6 percent.

But they’d rise for almost everyone else, too. Couples making $145,900 – $222,300 would see a rate jump from 28 percent to 31 percent. Couples making $72,300 – $145,900 would see rates jump from 25 percent to 28 percent.

The middle class would take the biggest hit: Married couples earning $60,350 – $72,300 would see tax rates jump from 15 percent to 28 percent. That means that without any credits or deductions, a couple making $65,000 would go from taking home $55,250 to taking home $46,800 next year if Congress and the president fail to strike a deal.

That’s versus what actually happened which is this:

Households making between $40,000 and $50,000 will face an average tax increase of $579 in 2013, according to the Tax Policy Center’s analysis. Households making between $50,000 and $75,000 will face an average tax increase of $822.

“For most people, it’s just the payroll tax,” said Roberton Williams, a senior fellow at the Tax Policy Center.

Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/payroll-tax-rise-article-1.1231335#ixzz2GpM9aMRX

So now what Tea Party?  Most of your members voted against the bill. It’s hard to know what to do when you have “non-negotiable, core beliefs”.  Eric Cantor was leading the charge, ready to throw America right off the cliff.  Some say politicians like Cantor and Rubio who voted against the deal did so just because they have higher aspirations down the road (a.k.a. President of the United States). Dang it, there goes another resolution – no more gossiping.

Voting for the bill saved the country from a financial tail-spin.  Voting against the bill would have caused all American taxes to significantly rise and could have cause an economic melt-down.  I guess it’s not all black and white, sometimes there are shades of gray.  It’s those times when you wish there was Plan B.

Anyway, thanks again for clarifying that it’s o.k. for me to stay in the states and enjoy my freedom.  You guys are gems.

Now that this political theater is over, I’ll go back to Keeping up with the Kardashians.  Can you believe the Kim is Kanye’s  baby mama?  I guess the next drama will be Feb. when it’s debt ceiling time.

Yours in freedom,

Aimee

Dear Hobby Lobby CEO – Excuse my big BUTT

Dear Mr. Green,

 

I wanted to reach out to you after I heard of the United State’s Supreme Court decision regarding the insurance mandate that requires you to provide coverage to your employees that includes the morning after pill.  You challenged the law as a violation of your faith. In your words your family had to  “violate their faith by covering abortion-causing drugs or be exposed to severe penalties.”

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/12/26/supreme-court-denies-hobby-lobby-request-for-reprieve-from-health-care-mandate/#ixzz2GJ4YTt46

Just a little family planning 101 – the morning after pill changes the lining of the uterus so that an egg is less likely to implant in the uterus.  If the woman is already pregnant it does not cause an abortion.  I know…silly little fact.  Can’t let these things get in the way.  Kind of like scientific facts of  evolution vs. creation, but that’s a debate for another blog.

Back to your bad news – I understand the fines for not complying can be up to $1.3 million dollars per day.  That’s a whole lot of scrapbook materials if you ask me.

Now if you have read any of my blog posts, you know I hate guns and that includes the hot-glue kind so I haven’t been in your store much.  I did, however, go in a few months back.  I was shopping for a frame for a picture I wanted to hang in my new apartment.  My grandparents lived in an apartment. Hanging in their dining room was this Salvador Dali print of Abraham Lincoln. I was fortunate to get this print after they passed away.  Note potential art thieves  it’s a print and not an original.  My brother was blessed with the other valuable art work famously known as the dogs playing poker print.

Dali

Anyway, Abe had to be re-framed before being hung in all of his glory over my fireplace.  Off to Hobby Lobby I went.  Sure enough you had the perfect frame to match my artwork.  If you look a certain way, you can see a cross in this piece.  Of course, most people just see a woman’s tush.

My point to this long story isn’t about the artwork hanging over my fireplace, it’s that your company didn’t seem to have any problems taking my money.  Your faith wasn’t compromised in any way when I purchased my frame.  Here’s the deal – when I worked in family planning, we prescribed lots and lots of morning after pills.  I am proud to say that I helped prevent a lot of unplanned pregnancies.

 

When it comes to making the all-American profit,  your faith doesn’t seem to be an issue when it comes to doing business with women who take the morning-after pills.  I don’t recall any sort of statement saying you won’t take money from women who have had abortions or support family planning.  I read your messages on your website, even the sneaky ones that are in 4 point font.  You didn’t screen me before I came in your store to be sure I believed in your faith.  My credit card worked just fine in your store.

 

Your faith is only “compromised” when it comes to providing birth control for your employees and conveniently that is when it may cost YOU some money.  Nobody is stopping you from closing up your store, starting your own church and preaching to your own congregation.  That way you don’t have to be put in this compromising position.
Just know that you may have made a small profit from the frame I purchased at your store, but every time I look at the ass, I mean cross, that is framed above my fire-place, I’ll think of  your commitment to faith, but the bigger draw of the all-American profit.

Yours in respecting our Supreme Court,

Aimee

 

 

 

#GOP If we r going to fall off a cliff, better have #PlanB!

We all know that the clock is ticking before our nation goes plunging off of the fiscal cliff.

The Democrats and Republicans are tied up in Washington as we speak negotiating to get us out of this financial mess.

It’s like a dance of political intimacy between the two parties….

When two political parties are this intense in negotiations and the communication intimacy is turned up to such a red, hot level, it is always good to come prepared with a back-up plan.

Thank goodness John Boehner has introduced Plan B just in time to prevent us falling off of the fiscal cliff and stop our nation from becoming impregnated with unnecessary debt.

The question is, can Boehner get Obama to take the Plan B in the required time frame before the Plan B becomes ineffective?

The White House doesn’t think that level of protection is going to be enough:

White House spokesman Jay Carney later released a statement panning Plan B, saying that the sides should keep negotiating and that Plan B idea would not meet Obama’s top priority of protecting middle-income earners.

“The Speaker’s ‘Plan B’ approach doesn’t meet this test because it can’t pass the Senate and therefore will not protect middle class families, and does little to address our fiscal challenges with zero spending cuts,” Carney said.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/18/john-boehner-plan-b_n_2322802.html

Maybe the White House is looking for protection that is a little more permanent, like a sterilization to the national problem?

Wait just a minute…are we talking about the same Plan B?

The Plan B I’m talking about is this:

Plan B One-Step® (levonorgestrel) is intended to prevent pregnancy after known or suspected contraceptive failure or unprotected intercourse.

Surely Boehner’s staff wouldn’t have let him name his financial rescue plan after the same type of contraception that his party has been trying to outlaw?  Let’s just call this a weird coincidence.

Either way, I think the Doogie Howser lesson here is you may not think you need it, but it is always nice to know Plan B is there when you do.

Plan B OK for Teens – First Obama’s Re-Elected and Now This?!

That swoosh you heard today wasn’t winter’s cold breeze blowing through the trees, it was the collective gasp from Christian conservatives all over the United States when a major pediatric group said this, “Emergency contraception should be available, and it should be available over the counter,” Dr. Cora Collette Breuner, a professor of pediatrics at the University of Washington School of Medicine, told HuffPost. “Education should be provided in the pediatrician’s office …”

For someone like me who has spent the better part of my career in family planning, this is music to my ears.  Hold it..did she say “over-the-counter”?    Whoa…I can’t even get my Sudafed for my winter sniffles over-the-counter without photo ID for fear of a major meth concoction that I may be cooking in my minivan.  Do you really think our kiddos are ready to check out at CVS with Plan B?

I will have to digest the over-the-counter part, but I think I like where this is headed.  While the Christian Conservatives are currently unconscious from the mere thought of Johnnie and Suzie having intercourse and then riding their scooters to the local Walgreen’s for some EC, let’s discuss shall we?

First, those ignorant of the difference between EC and RU486 – they are not the same thing.  EC does not cause abortions so chill out.  That’s right, chill out and educate yourself.  This has been a very common misunderstanding since…well since the beginning of this entire debate.  EC is very safe and effective if taken correctly.  It prevents the egg from implanting in the uterus and if you are pregnant, it will NOT CAUSE AN ABORTION!

For all my liberalness, I am struggling a bit with the over-the-counter part just because I want kids to be educated before they take this medication. It’s not like popping tictacs.  Although with EC, time is of the essence and there is not time to be wasted if you want it to work correctly.  If it stays by prescription only the only saving grace is we can all get EC with Obamacare since we will all be covered.  This of course, thanks to Obama’s re-election.

Thanks Dr. Breuner.  It takes a hell of a lot of courage to make this statement.  Now someone go wake up the Christian Conservatives, because this is happening!

A New Diet Called The GOP

Diet Update – Add Dennys and Jimmy Johns to the GOP Diet Plan

I don’t know about you, but I am not happy about my weight.  It seems like there just aren’t enough hours in the day to cook the healthy balanced meals for my family that I want.  Not to mention the cost of fresh fruit and vegetables just keeps going up.  Like most Americans, I often rely on fast food or convenience chain-restaurants to feed my family.  What’s the result?  Ever increasing clothing sizes, less energy and sluggish health.

Now it’s time for a change.

That’s why I’m putting my family on the new diet – The GOP Diet!

The G.O.P. Diet stands for Get Off (the) Pounds.

It’s the latest thing to come out of Washington.  It’s so easy to follow.  Just follow the conservative outrage.  Just a few easy steps and you will find the pounds simply melting away.

Firs step is simply watch the news.  Yes, that’s right.  Sit yourself down in front of the TV or computer and just watch the headlines.  It seems that every day a CEO of a major restaurant chain is coming out with an outrageous statement regarding Obamacare or some “liberal agenda”.

Take for example the CEO of Papa John’s pizza chain.  He is threatening to lay off employees instead of cover their health insurance when Obamacare kicks in.

From now on, I don’t eat any more Papa John’s pizza.  Think of all the calories I’ll save and all the pounds I’ll lose!  It’s that easy.  No tricky diets to follow or complicated meal plans.  Papa John’s CEO lives in his mega mansion, but refuses to cover health care for his employees and I save hundreds of calories by not eating his pizza.

Zane Tankel, owner of over 40 franchize Applebee’s also has said he won’t hire, because of Obamacare.  http://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2012/11/applebees-ceo-zane-tankel-says-he-wont-hire-because-of-obamacare-video/

Hey Zane, here is a win-win.  Calm down Zane (love the name BTW), because I’m not eating at your establishment anymore.  The win in all this, is I’ll end up looking fabulous by not doing so!  We all know your menu is calorie heavy, the stuff I end up ordering anyway – wings, spin dip and mozz sticks.  No more for me!  It’s so simple people.  Join me and we will all end up dropping our BMI’s in the process.

Chick-fil-A – don’t like gay marriage?  It’s on the GOP diet plan.  No more Chick-fil-A for me!

The only exercise required on the GOP diet plan is the occasional protest outside of a Chick-fil-A for marriage equality.   The complete diet plan is always changing so you never get bored.  It changes daily and will guarantee to be added to as more greedy CEOs come out claiming their “bottom-line” will be severely affected by Obamacare.  Their message will probably come from their multi-million dollar mansions as they Skype this message in from their private putting green.

The plan is so simple – follow the conservative outrage and the pounds simply melt away!

I’ll update the new diet as we hear more.  In the meantime, to follow the GOP diet, remember, no Papa John’s pizza, no Applebee’s from Zane’s franchises and no Chick-fil-A.

Here’s to a skinnier Democratic Party!

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