Tuesday in oy vey! My top 5 list

Welcome to my segment:  Tuesday in Oy Vey

Here is my top 5 list for things that have me going – seriously?

1.  The control tower in Kansas City that closed down temporarily due to a spider infestation.  Evidently, mama spider had babies – Mazel Tov!  Problem was, she had 1000+ babies in a control tower.  The little gems bit some controllers and forced the control tower to shut down temporarily so they could get Joe the Bug Guy out to exterminate.  (If you don’t sleep well tonight – you’re welcome!)

2.  Candy Crush.  If you need yet another thing to obsess over it’s Candy Crush.  I said I wouldn’t start and now…excuse me for a sec while I play a round.  The app even posts on Facebook for you to show your friends what a loser you are.  *psst…friends on Facebook, I totally need more lives.  I’ll be your best “friend”.

3.  Baseball – you get a huge oy vey today.  Why?  You would think I would be coming down on A-Rod, but no I’m shaking my finger at baseball.  Any sport that give a $30 million bonus for home runs encourages all of its players to take the risk, drug themselves up and go for the big payout.  Think about it – you don’t drug and guarantee you will never become a super star.  You drug, become a super star, collect your massive paycheck and after a while they figure it out and then they shame you.  Here’s the deal – it’s long enough to collect enough money that you could cure our national debt.  Why not take the risk?  Not taking the risk means you will for sure not get a $200 million contract.  Take the risk and cha-ching!

4.  My heartburn.  I had heartburn yesterday and then I realized Paul Ryan will be visiting my neck of the woods for a fundraiser in September for Gov. Brownback.  I really need to invest in Tums to make it until September with this knowledge.

5.  Weiner’s sexting partner makes a porno.  Seriously?  Oy vey….

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Encore Post: My Love Letter to Kirk Cameron dedicated to the Values Voters Summit

My childhood crush, Kirk Cameron was on the public stage again just yesterday.  I knew he was there, because my girlish heart skipped a beat.  He was the featured speaker at the Values Voters Summit being held in Washington, DC.

http://www.valuesvotersummit.org/speakers

Sharing the stage with many political figures like our own VP nominee Paul Ryan, and GOP Presidential nominee Mitt Romney, I thought I would dedicate this post to an earlier post of mine when Kirk shared his views on homosexuality.  Since he is now a national figure and an expert on values, I think we should all be reminded about his interview with Piers Morgan on CNN that left so many talking.  It may beg the question why Romney and Paul would share the stage with someone with view such as these?  Stephen Baldwin must have been busy.  Ah well, what do I know?  I’ll leave that to their top notch political campaign strategists.

Somehow I wasn’t invited to the Values Voters Summit.  Probably my invite was lost in the mail. Oh well, maybe next year or after this post maybe not.

Enjoy,

Aimee

________________________________________________________________________________________________

My darling Kirk,

It’s been a really long time for the two of us. 26 years later to be exact, I am sure you remember me and our moment. Our moment may have been 26 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Since you have been in the news so much these past few days it has jogged my memory of that special moment.

It was an extremely hot summer, Kansas City day at Worlds of Fun. For those of you not from Kansas City, Worlds of Fun is the same as Six Flags or Busch Gardens. Worlds of Fun has amusement park rides and attractions and on this hot summer day it was hosting my biggest attraction in hot teenage crushes, Kirk Cameron of Growing Pains.

I was there with all of the other teenage, screaming girls in the aluminum stands of Worlds of Fun that day. We were baking like potatoes with the hot burning sun glaring off of the aluminum stands, but we waited to see our crush. There was rumor that day that a young girl fainted from heat and was taken behind stage and met Kirk. I remember the thought crossing my mind, could I fake a believable faint? Do you think people would believe it if I suddenly wilted into a ball. Would you run out to catch me in my moment of need? I didn’t have the guts to try it so I just stood there and sweated in all of my teenage, disgusting glory waiting for my idol.

Out you came like a dream. You weren’t sweating like the rest of us. You were magnificent. I remember standing there and thinking that if I didn’t scream like those silly girls maybe, just maybe, you would notice me. Then it happened. I am positive it happened. Our eyes locked. For a split second our eyes locked. You may have been far away, up on the Worlds of Fun stage and I may have been a spec of color in the landscape of Bonnie Bell lip gloss and blue eye shadow, but I am sure our eyes met. I know for that second, you knew I was there. How did I know? My heart skipped a beat and I am positive yours did as well.

Because of our shared moment that I know you remember, I am going to share a word of advice my long lost love. See I heard about what you said on Piers Morgan the other night. Piers asked you about homosexuality and gay marriage and you said that it was “unnatural”, “detrimental”, and “ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization.”

Well one thing we can’t say is you are vague on this position now can we? I was well aware that you went on the roller coaster ride of fundamental Christianity and never came off some time ago. I’ll admit that is when my girl crush faded, and your show was cancelled, oh and I grew up and frankly you outgrew your boyish good looks. Anyway, back to my point.

After you dropped these little bombs on Piers, you seemed to be shocked by mainstream America’s outrage that erupted on social media. That led you to follow up with a statement today that basically read that you love all people. Here is your statement:

“I should be able to express moral views on social issues, especially those that have been the underpinning of Western civilization for 2,000 years — without being slandered, accused of hate speech, and told from those who preach ‘tolerance’ that I need to either bend my beliefs to their moral standards or be silent when I’m in the public square.”

I believe we need to learn how to debate these things with greater love and respect. I’ve been encouraged by the support of many friends (including gay friends, incidentally).”

Sweetie, I know I can call you sweetie, because we shared that special moment, here are some things I need to point out to you about your statement. I think I am going to declare myself the smarter one in this 26 year relationship of ours so just follow my lead.

A debate about a social issue such as this would revolve around if gay marriage should be legal, not around if homosexuality is the cause of the destruction of the foundation of our civilization. Most sane people do not believe that homosexuality has caused the destruction of the foundation of our civilization. That is where the hate speech part comes in honey. Gay people are guilty of a lot of things: singing songs that will bring a tear to my eye every time I hear them. They have provided some amazing interior design for some of the finest hotels I have been blessed to stay in. They have colored my hair to a fabulous shade of caramel brown that actual matched the speckles in my brown eyes. They have designed the most breath taking gowns to ever drape a starlet’s body as proved by every year’s awards season, but destroy the foundation of our civilization they have not even come close.

If that kind of talk is what you view as “loving all people”, then please keep that love talk among fellow Christian fundamentalists like yourself. I’ll do myself a favor and not rekindle our relationship again by seeing this new movie you have out. When you are really ready to debate a social issue like gay marriage, let society know. The first step in having that debate would be acknowledging that homosexuality is not “unnatural”, but something that God made happen the same way he made our love happen on that hot summer day at World’s of Fun.

You have every right to express your views, as hateful as they may be and we have every right to respond. Here’s the deal Kirk, if your belief in God is so strong, how about if you leave the harsh judging to Him? An answer to Piers’ questions the other night could have gone like this….

“Kirk, how do you feel about gay marriage?”

“Piers, I am not for gay marriage.”

See how easy that was. You could have left the whole destruction of the foundation of our civilization thing out of it. Even if you are thinking it. Like, right now I am thinking you are a douche for saying something like that about a group of people that only crime is they want to be in love. How could somebody who claims to be so religious be so hateful? What kind of idiot would go on national television, especially a C level actor who nobody is even paying much attention to, spout off such bigoted hatred. See I am thinking all of that, but I would never say something like that. I mean, I would never say that to the public, but this is just between you and me.

I am so glad we had this opportunity to catch up. I know, like on that day at Worlds of Fun, our connection is real. If my faith in you is as strong as your faith in God, hopefully you will see the light and take your own words to heart about truly loving all people. Love all people and leave the judging to God. I know he has judged me for that blue eye shadow I was wearing when our love was ignited that day at Worlds of Fun. I’ll have to deal with that when my time is up on this earth. I guess you’ll have to deal with your judgments as well.

Good luck with that.

RNC speakers and quotes from parents…what would I use?

Last night was Paul Ryan’s night.

Paul, Sky Blue Tie, Ryan.

Have I ever mentioned that sky blue is my favorite color?  I fully believe that the Republicans knew that and purposefully had him wear a sky blue tie to seduce me to vote Republican.  It almost worked!  Granted I had to snap out of my trance and Google the speech after the fact to fill myself in on what I missed.  I admit, I’m that easy sometimes…with voting!

So glad I did and now I’m back to voting Democrat.  Whew…that was close!

Reviewing Ryan’s speech after I came out of my sky blue tie trance, I came across this quote from Ryan, “My dad used to say to me: ‘Son, you have a choice. You can be part of the problem, or you can be part of the solution.”

I recall the night before Chris Christie spoke about what his mother taught him. “The greatest lesson Mom ever taught me, though, was this one: she told me there would be times in your life when you have to choose between being loved and being respected. She said to always pick being respected, that love without respect was always fleeting — but that respect could grow into real, lasting love.”

Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0812/80347.html#ixzz251MllYdx

This had me thinking.  If I was giving my speech at a political convention, what nugget of advice from my parent or grandparent would be the backbone of my speech about character and greatness?

So I started to think….

“Stand-up straight!” My mom said this almost daily.  This wasn’t about standing up for values, this was really because I slouched my shoulders all the time.  She did that thing where she ran her fingers down my back.  I could probably leave that part out and use it in a speech about standing up straight for values.  It could be our secret about her true meaning.

“Boys will say anything to get in your pants.  Don’t believe them.” My Dad said this when I was a teenager.   This one would be harder work into a political convention speech.  Maybe I could say something like, the government is trying to get into your pants and we are going to stop them.  Oh heck, I guess I could lean on the speech writers to come up with some gem.

“Don’t ever wear a watch. It’s a good excuse to ask boys what time it is.” My grandmother when I was about 13.  We could spin this one to say government can’t be bothered to watch every second when it comes to taking the time to work on our problems.  It’s a stretch, but hey not everyone has the brilliant soundbites that Ryan and Christie seem to have.

“Don’t EVER say the word seven at a craps table.”  This one has served me well over the years.  I don’t think it will ever work for a political speech, but if you are reading this, trust me, my dad is the best craps player I know.  Just jot that one down for future use.

No wait! This one will work: “You know we have a lot of funny notions born inside of us, Half-Pint. The funniest is that we’re supposed to hide the way we feel about people. Let me tell you, everybody wants to know that they are loved, or needed, or cared about. Anybody who doesn’t want to know that has something wrong with them.”  Charles Ingalls

Ok, ok so it’s from Pa Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie.  If I take the Half-Pint out, no one would really know.

Now that I’m raising a child and her path may lead her up on the stage accepting her nomination for President, I better step my game up.  I need to come up with some amazing quotes so that when she is thinking about her acceptance speech she can quote me.  It better be something better then what I told her yesterday: “yes I’ll get you more ketchup for your chicken nuggets.” That’s probably not going to inspire a nation.

Oy, the pressure!

 

 

Medicare: one of these things is not like the other

Dear Romney Camp:

 

It’s Aimee from the Midwest.  Who am I you must be asking yourself?  Just a regular working mom by day and a self-declared, rookie armchair political analyst who writes this blog at night.  I’m really just an average American.  Nobody special really.  I think I need to offer you a little nugget of advice.

I’m not sure if you noticed, but the Obama campaign has you on the ropes right now about Medicare.  They are screaming that Medicare is going away.  Now in fairness for a rich political landscape in this country, I don’t think that’s 100% true.  However, this is what our seniors are hearing right now: “voucher”, “medicare cuts” and “private insurance”.  The Democrats are kicking your butt on this issue.

You picked a VP candidate that is known for his dashing good looks, no wait…sorry, for his extreme fiscal, conservative budget plan.  The Ryan budget is pretty much all that Paul Ryan is known for outside of Wisconsin.  That’s how I knew him when he was announced.  The Ryan budget changes Medicare into a voucher system for seniors to choose private insurance.  If seniors are like me, they are no fan of private insurance.  It’s a necessary evil.  Granted, it’s better than no insurance,  but private insurance can be a bitch.  Co-pays, pre-existing conditions, referrals to specialists all make Americans grumpy.    Our seniors had private insurance for 65 years.  I know I’m grumpy with private insurance and I have another 25 years to deal with it.

You can’t pick a candidate who is almost entirely known for his budget plan, put him on the national stage for the presidency, I mean vice-presidency and then when the outcry happens say things like, “the Ryan Budget isn’t the Romney Budget”.  You had to see this coming.  You are smarter than this.  I combed over many articles from credible news sources trying to figure out the difference between the two budgets.  The problem is I couldn’t find anything that helped me understand the difference between the Romney budget and the Ryan budget.  This makes it look like you don’t even know the difference.

So I wait to understand the difference in the two plans…..(insert Jeopardy music)

While we are waiting, if Paul Ryan was picked for other reasons besides his budget plan, what are they exactly?  It can’t be his overwhelming foreign policy experience.  Come to think of it, neither one of you are known for that.  Maybe it’s because he is pro-life?  Yawn…aren’t  all Republicans these days.  Other than the constant reminder that Ryan is a mini-me to Romney, what’s the difference?

As we wait, I don’t think I need to tell you the Democrats aren’t wasting any time putting the fear of God into the seniors about your, I mean Ryan’s medicare plan.  The clock is ticking and you are taking a beating.

Please give a shout out when you are ready to explain the difference between the two plans.  I would say the sooner the better or this election is over and Obama wins by a knockout.

Thanks,

Aimee

Your average American voter

Generation X insecurities on overdrive with Paul Ryan VP pick

Yesterday, Mitt Romney chose his running mate for the 2012 Presidential Campaign. His choice was Paul Ryan, Congressman from Wisconsin. Ryan has a reputation of being a master policy maker, a fiscal conservative and a warrior in reducing social programs.

Did I mention he is forty-two? Forty-two is just a few years older than me. There all comes a time in our adult lives when we realize that the people running our country are no longer our grandfather or father’s age. Then, like Obama, we think of them as an older brother…a much older brother. In my hypothetical family, Obama is the older brother and I’m the “oops” baby that came along 10 years later. Now with Paul Ryan, the cold hard truth slaps us in the face, Paul Ryan could be our brother and he may be a heart-beat away from the Presidency of the United States. Generation X, let the Prosac® popping begin. Call up your therapist that I know you have on speed-dial, Generation X has some insecurity to start working out.

Paul Ryan seems to be like another well-known figure from our generation. This person also excelled at their career at a very young age. He was known for some out-of-the-box thinking at critical moments. Most Gen Xers know this person, because he came into our living rooms on a weekly basis. Doogie Howser – the boy wonder doctor from our youth reminds me of Paul Ryan. Ah, Doogie who provided us with a typed out moral to our ½ hour sitcom at the end because he knew, like we all do, that Generation X just couldn’t be bothered to draw our own conclusion at the end of our sitcoms. Generation X was too busy getting our after school snack while we waited for one of our double-income earning parents to show up.

Now our generation has Doogie Ryan-fiscal policy genius on the Republican ticket. Comparisons are only natural when someone you could have skated the snowball with at the roller-rink becomes a Vice-President candidate. What have I done? How does Paul Ryan accomplishments measure up to my life?

I recently lived in my mother’s basement due to a status change in my marriage and financial situation. I just moved out and into my own apartment. Paul Ryan may be moving out of his congressional office and into the Vice-Presidential mansion. Check! I recently laid out a fiscally conservative monthly budget that included cutting out the HBO option in my cable package so I would have enough money to meet my monthly bills. Paul Ryan wants to overhaul Medicare making it so that our government would give money to beneficiaries to purchase private health insurance for our elderly. We both know how to make the tough and unpopular decisions. My five year-old is still pissed that I cut HBO. Ryan wants to cut most social programs, except for the Pentagon. I also had to cut frilly extras in my life to balance my own budget. With all of my monthly cuts, I decided to keep my iPhone. Like the Pentagon is critical to national security, my iPhone is critical to my entertainment and social status.

Like most Generation Xers, I will continue this internal dialog of self-critical comparison to Doogie Ryan. If it turns out to be too much for me, I will just do like so many from my generation do, I will use an anti-depressant and squash those feeling of inadequacy. Until then, show us what you can do this election Paul Ryan. This Gen Xer will be looking for a typed out conclusion at the end of the VP debate telling me who won so I can figure out what to think. Just blame my Gen X laziness on Doogie.

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