Pro-Life Candidates Get Biggest Message From Campaign

So it’s over.  50% of the country is celebrating and the other 50% is trying to figure out what the hell happened.  Let the campaign analysis begin.  Mittens lost.  Did Obama out campaign him?  Did his own party blow it for him?  Was it Sandy’s fault?  Christie’s fault?  The flag pin’s fault?  My fault?  Mitt was so close.  He was never close really.  I guess it depends who you ask and who you want to believe.

The one thing we can all agree on as a nation is the whole campaign system is broken. The good news is it goes well with our broken economy.  Kinda like the shoes matching the belt.   The reality is it isn’t changing anytime soon.  So here is my big take-away from this whole thing.

A very strong and direct message was sent to the Pro-Life Movement yesterday.  Now that this election is over, I feel like I can lay it all out here.  See, we all know what Akin said.   I think he never really believed that the female body had a way of “shutting the whole thing down” when it came to pregnancy.  I believe extreme Pro-Life candidates like Aiken who said OUTRAGEOUS things about women’s reproductive systems were really saying, “I am pro-life in all cases even rape and incest.”  They just didn’t have the real guts to lay it out so concretely.

Instead of just saying that, they knew that it would be highly unpopular with moderate Americans.  So they started tap dancing to try to cover-up these extreme views.  In fact, there was more tap dancing around this than the talent portion of the Miss Glitter Pageant of Toddlers and Tiaras.  The more they danced the worse it got.  By that time you had statements like Akin’s and Mourdock’s who had just justify pregnancy somehow so they blamed God or excuse me, said pregnancy from rape was what “God intended”.

What once was a movement that seemed unstoppable, the Pro-Life movement, suddenly came to an abrupt stop or at the very least hit an enormous speed bump.  It wasn’t that people reacted to how stupid these statements were and didn’t vote for these candidates.  That conclusion is far too simplistic. I believe there was also a reaction to the intent of the statement – the statement being abortion in all circumstances, even in times of incest and rape was unacceptable.  The American people stopped this type of candidate.  To be perfectly clear, I’m not saying the American people all became pro-choice and everyone now has a Planned Parenthood bumper sticker on their car, but they certainly sent a strong message that pro-life in all circumstances regardless of how the pregnancy occurred did not appeal to them.

As I sit in KS, or as Fox News abbreviated it last night – KA – the hub of Pro-Life extremism, I sit satisfied that what used to be the unstoppable Pro-Life movement finally received a strong message from their own party.  There are limits.  The American voter has limits.  Abortion in all circumstances is not something the American people ultimately believe in.  Abortion in times of rape and incest and in times when the mother’s life is at risk is something the American people find acceptable.  Akin’s loss was more about his intention behind his stupid statement and not just based on his statement alone.

Time will tell if the GOP will take this message to heart and really try to change things before 2016.  I have some ideas about changing the whole campaign  system.  For example – the primaries?  That process sucks if you are the running against an incumbent.  Lengthening the presidential term.  Four years isn’t enough.  Look at how long FDR had to get us out of the Great Depression.    Don’t get me started on the Electoral College.   Somebody in charge of this stuff give me a ring if you want some ideas.

In the meantime, the campaign is over….now what?  Ping-pong anyone?

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7 Stages of Voter Grief

It’s the day before the election.  I am like most Americans – Republicans and Democrats and even those rare few who are “undecided”.  I’m gearing up to vote tomorrow and then sit and anxiously watch the returns come in.  Today I am going through a wide range of emotion on the last day of this crazy campaign cycle.  I’m calling it – the 7 stages of voter grief.  See if you can relate:

Stage 1 – Shock and Denial

Tomorrow it’s all over?  It can’t be all over!  What will I do with all my free time?  Maybe I’ll take up a new hobby like knitting or extreme couponing?  It can’t really be all over.   Surely this can’t be it.  There will probably be an extension anyway.  Hello, can anyone say hanging chads?

Stage 2 – Pain and Guilt

What if Obama doesn’t win?  What kind of country will I be leaving to my children and grandchildren?  I’m on an emotional cliff right now, because this country is hanging on a fiscal cliff.  The point is we are all on some sort of cliff.  This according to the 1.5 million emails I have received this election cycle.  Everyone  tells me it’s urgent and it’s up to me to vote their way make the death spiral it stop.  It’s all resting on my shoulders.  The fate of the nation is all on my shoulders people.  If the country spirals out of control tomorrow, it is my fault, because they told me so.  Somebody pass the antidepressants.

Stage 3 – Anger and Bargaining

Who the hell are you guys to put all of this on my shoulders anyway?  If it wasn’t for you politicians always placing blame on each other maybe we could get something done in Washington.  If Washington wasn’t just one campaign cycle after another maybe this country could actually move forward instead of always playing politics as usual.  You career politicians can suck it.  I just may not vote so there!

Stage 4 – Depression, Loneliness and Reflection

What difference does it make?  Will my vote even count tomorrow?

Stage 5 – The upward turn

Yes, my vote counts!  Every vote counts.  That is what makes America great!

Stage 6 – Reconstruction and working through

I believe that not only does my vote count, but I am part of the solution.  As JFK said, “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country!”

Stage 7 – Acceptance and Hope

I will vote tomorrow!  I will vote and I will believe in hope and change (again).

Oh Sandy

I’m glued to the TV right now. Hurricane Sandy is coming ashore on the East Coast. I, like everyone, am watching and waiting. Is this storm going to be as big as they say? How much flooding will there be? Why do reporters always wear baseball caps in 70 mph wind? Haven’t they learned that it never works. No matter how tight you make the cap, it always blows off.

I’ll stop making jokes, because this is serious. If there was ever a time to put our intense campaigning to rest, it is now. I realize we are at a critical time in our campaign cycle. This is the final push to the end. However, there are some things that are more important and the safety and security of Americans are more important right now. It doesn’t matter if you are Republican or Democrat, liberal or conservative-everyone is an American and Americans need to be helping other Americans.

This is not a time to critique everything this administration is going to do during the hurricane response. Governors, Senators, Congressmen/women, Mayors and Emergency Response Teams, as well as the President and his administration, will be part this response effort. Both parties will be represented and the one thing is for sure – we can’t have political bickering right now.

Everyone take a nice, deep breath and start thinking about what you can do to be part of the solution. I know I write a lot about the separation of church and state. I stand by that thought, but this might be a good time to do a little praying to God, not to help create policy, but to pray to keep our Americans safe and damage to a minimum.

I was part of the rescue effort during Hurricane Katrina when I worked for a great organization called Angel Flight. I was not in New Orleans, but worked in the Midwest organizing flights for families to reunite with sick children who had been evacuated from New Orleans to the Midwest. I know from being part of that rescue effort that Americans are unbelievably charitable and caring people.

Let’s hope for the best, prepare for the worst and put all the political bickering to rest for the next 48 hours. If fellow Americans on the East Coast need help after the storm hits, I will donate money or goods and not ask what political party each recipient has declared before I donate. It’s times like this when it all seems so trivial.

I challenge Akin and Mourdock on their BS Pro-Life Stance

Here we go again.  Another Republican candidate spouting off about what God intended about abortion.

Richard Mourdock from Indiana said this last night,  “The only exception I have to have an abortion is in the case of the life of the mother,” said Mourdock, the Tea Party-backed state treasurer. “I struggled with it myself for a long time, but I came to realize life is that gift from God. I think that even when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that God intended to happen.”

I’ve stopped beating my head against the wall long enough to write this.  Another day, another Republican telling me what God intended.  So, let’s face it guys, and I can call you all guys since it’s been guys who make all these extreme and wacky statements about abortion, God was a little wishy-washy about when life begins in the Bible – see previous posts.  Some say God defined life at conception and others say God defined life at the moment of birth.  Until the Big G shows up and tell us, the verdict is still out on this one.

Now I know most pro-life Republicans put conditions on the pro-life stance – abortion is only o.k. in times when the life of the mother is at risk.  Simple question..why?  If God intended that life begins at conception as you claim and life is a gift from God, why wouldn’t it also be  God’s intention to take the life of the mother at that point?  Is it, because you may lose some voters by saying in all cases even the case when the life of the mother is at risk? I don’t recall God calling this exception out in the Bible anywhere.  If you are so bold as to claim you know what God intended as far as abortion and when life begins then show me proof where it says, “except in cases where the mother’s life is at risk.”  I dare you.

Second, God interpreters also known as Republicans, who is to say that God didn’t intentionally put doctors on this earth to perform safe abortions?  When a heart surgeon performs a successful heart surgery we comment about how the skills are a “gift from God”.  Who is to say that God didn’t grant us the intelligence to perfect this procedure.  Abortion has been around for hundreds of years.  Many women died trying to get an illegal abortion.  Maybe it is God’s will?

Third, if you are so concerned about the life of the mother and you outlaw abortion, what happens when women start dying again from having illegal abortions?  What about the life of the mother then?  Just because you outlaw abortion does not mean they will stop.  We all know that abortions can be performed with a procedure termed as a “medical abortion”.  No people this is NOT the same as the morning after pill.  These pills can be obtained by some shady sites on the internet.  What’s to stop women from ordering this unregulated pills from the internet and performing illegal abortions in the privacy of their own home without a doctor’s supervision?  Women will die.  Mark my words.  If the life of women comes before all else all in this Republican pro-life debate, what about in this scenario?  Will safe abortions become legal again if there are enough deaths resulting from illegal abortions?

Oh and by the way, one thing God was crystal freaking clear on was adultery -

Exodus 20:14 “You shall not commit adultery.”

Deuteronomy 22:22 “If a man is found sleeping with another man’s wife, both the man who slept with her and the woman must die.

Leviticus 20:10 “If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife–with the wife of his neighbor–both the adulterer and the adulteress must be put to death.

I think this applies to people like Newt Gingrich and if memory serves he was campaigning for Akin.  If we are so sure of God’s intent, let’s not forget this one.  Akin, why are you o.k. with an endorsement from Gingrich if you and other extreme Pro-Life Republicans are so sure of God’s intent?  Is it just selective following of God’s intent?

Oh well, silly me.  I guess I’m just not as religious as you guys.

Hey…From President Obama

I watched the debates last night.  I will say it even though it pains me greatly – Good job Mitt!  Mitt obviously won the night. I think the problem with Obama is he didn’t seem engaged.  I think with President Obama there are two modes – engaged and not engaged.  He is either speaking so passionately that the audience ends up yelling, “Amen!” or he is disengaged and he sounds like those professors from college where you had to pinch your hand to keep yourself awake.  Obama was talking, but I can’t for the life of me remember any of it.

The best observation of the night came from my 6 year old.  “Maybe they both can be President and just take turns.”

After the debate, I immediately receive fundraising emails from both candidates.  Downloading the Romney VP app signed me up for a flurry of GOP email that I can’t delete fast enough.

There was my daily President Obama email.  In the subject line just one word:  “hey”.

Now, I am not naive to think that President Obama actually sits down to compose emails to me every day.  I know he has people doing that for him.  Here is how I imagine this creative process going:

Group of campaign staffer Gen Ys around a table.

“O.k. so let’s review this email before it goes out.” Staffer A

“Looks good, dude.” Staffer B

“Wait! We need a subject line.  It’s got to be an attention grabbing headline.  We’ve got to say something that will make people really want to open this email and donate to President Obama.”  Staffer A

“Hey dude, I’ve got an idea.” Staffer C

“Eureka!  That’s the subject line.” Staffer A

“What?  Hey dude, I’ve got an idea?” Staffer C

“No.  Just ‘hey’.  It’s simple, casual and to the point.” Staffer A

The whole group erupts giving each other high-fives.

And there you have it.  The subject line of “hey” was typed and sent to millions around the country.

Maybe it didn’t play out this way, but for God’s sake hold someone responsible for this laziness.  I type emails to my family and friends and use the subject line “hey” usually dude follows the hey.  This shouldn’t be coming from the President of the United States.  I realize we are now a casual society, often wearing jeans to work, but this is taking it a step too far.

This reminds me of when I get lazy filing papers away.  I have been known to mark the folders “stuff” when I am just too lazy to actually develop a good filing system.

There is your next subject line campaign staffers – “stuff”.  I give you permission to use it.  I’ll use another word to describe the subject line and President Obama’s performance at the debate – lame.  I have a feeling that one won’t be showing up in a subject line any time soon.

Come on campaign staffers – carb load yourselves, smoke those cigarettes you just starting smoking this campaign cycle, drink a few Red Bulls and look alive.

In the tradition of Obama’s subject line emails, I’ll use one word to wrap this up.

Later

Gov. Brownback may miss deadline to pick insurance for KS

Governor Brownback,

 

I know you are really, really busy.  I’m sure you are busy with governor stuff like cutting some school funding, slashing more arts spending, or possibly even praying in our government buildings, but if I can just interrupt for a quick second.

http://www.kansas.com/2012/01/09/2168849/brownback-others-pray-for-guidance.html

See there is a deadline looming that I think you are aware of.  September 30th is the deadline where states need to decide what health insurance coverage it is going to provide based on a federal mandate by the Affordable Care Act:

http://www.kansascity.com/2012/09/06/3800625/kansas-insurance-commissioner.html

If you don’t pick something by September 30th the federal government will do it for you.  I think we all know how you and fellow Republicans feel about state’s rights.

Now rumor has it you are dragging your feet, because you feel strongly that The Affordable Care Act will be repealed when Mitt Romney is elected President.

“Brownback has been a vocal opponent of the Affordable Care Act and said he wants to wait until after the Nov. 6 election before making any decisions. Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney has vowed to repeal the act if he is elected. Last year, Brownback sent back a $31.5 million federal grant to set up a health insurance exchange.”

With all due respect Governor Brownback, Romney isn’t having a stellar week or entire campaign for that matter.  Might I suggest not putting all those eggs in that basket?

If you don’t want the Department of Health and Human Services dictating insurance benefits for Kansans, let’s not have a “wait and see” approach to who is going to become our next President.

I don’t want to be accused of witchcraft, but I think the tea leaves are reading pretty clear on this one-   Romney is not going to be elected as our next President.  In case you haven’t noticed, his campaign is in a tailspin.

I totally understand the disappointment you must be feeling.  I feel that way all the time living as a liberal in a conservative state like Kansas.  Lots and lots of disappointment is part of the territory.

Swallow your pride, do what is right and pick what coverage is best for Kansans.  The Insurance Commission is waiting.

Since you are such a strong believer in the power of prayer, I believe Romney could use all you have right now.  Just do me a favor and if you are going to pray for Romney, do it somewhere other than at the Capitol.

 

Thanks,

Aimee

Romney is guilty of making most Americans feel like crap

Eureka!  I’ve figured out what is wrong with the Romney campaign.  Now, I’m no political analyst by profession.  I’m just a divorced, working mom who loves politics.  I’m going to lay out what is wrong with the Romney campaign and I can sum it up in one sentence:

Romney continues to make average Americans feel like crap.

That was complex, right?  Can you believe that no one pays me for this analysis?  Shocker!   It isn’t complex, but I think it gets right to the heart of what’s wrong with Mitt Romney for President.

It seems in my unprofessional opinion that the reason that Romney is losing this campaign is that he continually makes Americans feel terrible.  I feel like his people should issue an apology before he ever opens his mouth.

Obama may have won on “hope” and “change” and it is debatable if that is what he delivered, but most Americans want to feel “hope” and feel they can be part of “change”.

Romney has done nothing in this campaign except continue to make people feel terrible.

I’ll use myself as an example.  Romney recently declared that middle-class is anyone making $250,000 and below.  For a candidate who already has an issue with trying to relate to your everyday American, setting the bar that “middle-class” is at $250,000 is outrageous.  I work hard, but I make a fraction (and I do mean a fraction) of that amount.  What does that make me?  The working poor?  Did Romney just move me into a different class and I wasn’t even aware of it.  Thanks a lot buddy!

Now video is out from Romney that claims that people who use government assistance view themselves as “victims”.  

Nothing about what he said is overly outrageous.  I mean this has been the Republican party line for a while now.  I think the outrage comes down to the fact that it is just another day and another category of Americans that he has made feel like crap.

So what if Romney was at a fundraiser in Boca Raton?  Having high dollar political fundraiser is common to both sides.  Can anyone say Jay-Z and Beyonce for Obama?  (I donate my money to Obama, I’m waiting for my all expense paid trip to the fundraiser!)

The bigger issue is the campaign has no hope.  There is no inspiration.  If an American needs government assistance, they are “victims”.  If you don’t make $250,000 per year, you are poor.  If you are gay, you are wrong, if you aren’t Christian you don’t belong.  I could keep going, but you get my point.

Romney is going to need to have universal healthcare on his platform, because most Americans are going to need anti-depressants before this campaign is over.  Romney is totally bumming us out.  

One thing I’ve learned about playing tennis (and not very well by the way) is just get the ball back over the net and let the other guy make the error.  The odds are that the other guy will beat himself and you don’t have to work so hard trying to make great shots every time.  

Romney, the ball is in your court.

 

Encore Post: My Love Letter to Kirk Cameron dedicated to the Values Voters Summit

My childhood crush, Kirk Cameron was on the public stage again just yesterday.  I knew he was there, because my girlish heart skipped a beat.  He was the featured speaker at the Values Voters Summit being held in Washington, DC.

http://www.valuesvotersummit.org/speakers

Sharing the stage with many political figures like our own VP nominee Paul Ryan, and GOP Presidential nominee Mitt Romney, I thought I would dedicate this post to an earlier post of mine when Kirk shared his views on homosexuality.  Since he is now a national figure and an expert on values, I think we should all be reminded about his interview with Piers Morgan on CNN that left so many talking.  It may beg the question why Romney and Paul would share the stage with someone with view such as these?  Stephen Baldwin must have been busy.  Ah well, what do I know?  I’ll leave that to their top notch political campaign strategists.

Somehow I wasn’t invited to the Values Voters Summit.  Probably my invite was lost in the mail. Oh well, maybe next year or after this post maybe not.

Enjoy,

Aimee

________________________________________________________________________________________________

My darling Kirk,

It’s been a really long time for the two of us. 26 years later to be exact, I am sure you remember me and our moment. Our moment may have been 26 years ago, but I remember it like it was yesterday. Since you have been in the news so much these past few days it has jogged my memory of that special moment.

It was an extremely hot summer, Kansas City day at Worlds of Fun. For those of you not from Kansas City, Worlds of Fun is the same as Six Flags or Busch Gardens. Worlds of Fun has amusement park rides and attractions and on this hot summer day it was hosting my biggest attraction in hot teenage crushes, Kirk Cameron of Growing Pains.

I was there with all of the other teenage, screaming girls in the aluminum stands of Worlds of Fun that day. We were baking like potatoes with the hot burning sun glaring off of the aluminum stands, but we waited to see our crush. There was rumor that day that a young girl fainted from heat and was taken behind stage and met Kirk. I remember the thought crossing my mind, could I fake a believable faint? Do you think people would believe it if I suddenly wilted into a ball. Would you run out to catch me in my moment of need? I didn’t have the guts to try it so I just stood there and sweated in all of my teenage, disgusting glory waiting for my idol.

Out you came like a dream. You weren’t sweating like the rest of us. You were magnificent. I remember standing there and thinking that if I didn’t scream like those silly girls maybe, just maybe, you would notice me. Then it happened. I am positive it happened. Our eyes locked. For a split second our eyes locked. You may have been far away, up on the Worlds of Fun stage and I may have been a spec of color in the landscape of Bonnie Bell lip gloss and blue eye shadow, but I am sure our eyes met. I know for that second, you knew I was there. How did I know? My heart skipped a beat and I am positive yours did as well.

Because of our shared moment that I know you remember, I am going to share a word of advice my long lost love. See I heard about what you said on Piers Morgan the other night. Piers asked you about homosexuality and gay marriage and you said that it was “unnatural”, “detrimental”, and “ultimately destructive to so many of the foundations of civilization.”

Well one thing we can’t say is you are vague on this position now can we? I was well aware that you went on the roller coaster ride of fundamental Christianity and never came off some time ago. I’ll admit that is when my girl crush faded, and your show was cancelled, oh and I grew up and frankly you outgrew your boyish good looks. Anyway, back to my point.

After you dropped these little bombs on Piers, you seemed to be shocked by mainstream America’s outrage that erupted on social media. That led you to follow up with a statement today that basically read that you love all people. Here is your statement:

“I should be able to express moral views on social issues, especially those that have been the underpinning of Western civilization for 2,000 years — without being slandered, accused of hate speech, and told from those who preach ‘tolerance’ that I need to either bend my beliefs to their moral standards or be silent when I’m in the public square.”

I believe we need to learn how to debate these things with greater love and respect. I’ve been encouraged by the support of many friends (including gay friends, incidentally).”

Sweetie, I know I can call you sweetie, because we shared that special moment, here are some things I need to point out to you about your statement. I think I am going to declare myself the smarter one in this 26 year relationship of ours so just follow my lead.

A debate about a social issue such as this would revolve around if gay marriage should be legal, not around if homosexuality is the cause of the destruction of the foundation of our civilization. Most sane people do not believe that homosexuality has caused the destruction of the foundation of our civilization. That is where the hate speech part comes in honey. Gay people are guilty of a lot of things: singing songs that will bring a tear to my eye every time I hear them. They have provided some amazing interior design for some of the finest hotels I have been blessed to stay in. They have colored my hair to a fabulous shade of caramel brown that actual matched the speckles in my brown eyes. They have designed the most breath taking gowns to ever drape a starlet’s body as proved by every year’s awards season, but destroy the foundation of our civilization they have not even come close.

If that kind of talk is what you view as “loving all people”, then please keep that love talk among fellow Christian fundamentalists like yourself. I’ll do myself a favor and not rekindle our relationship again by seeing this new movie you have out. When you are really ready to debate a social issue like gay marriage, let society know. The first step in having that debate would be acknowledging that homosexuality is not “unnatural”, but something that God made happen the same way he made our love happen on that hot summer day at World’s of Fun.

You have every right to express your views, as hateful as they may be and we have every right to respond. Here’s the deal Kirk, if your belief in God is so strong, how about if you leave the harsh judging to Him? An answer to Piers’ questions the other night could have gone like this….

“Kirk, how do you feel about gay marriage?”

“Piers, I am not for gay marriage.”

See how easy that was. You could have left the whole destruction of the foundation of our civilization thing out of it. Even if you are thinking it. Like, right now I am thinking you are a douche for saying something like that about a group of people that only crime is they want to be in love. How could somebody who claims to be so religious be so hateful? What kind of idiot would go on national television, especially a C level actor who nobody is even paying much attention to, spout off such bigoted hatred. See I am thinking all of that, but I would never say something like that. I mean, I would never say that to the public, but this is just between you and me.

I am so glad we had this opportunity to catch up. I know, like on that day at Worlds of Fun, our connection is real. If my faith in you is as strong as your faith in God, hopefully you will see the light and take your own words to heart about truly loving all people. Love all people and leave the judging to God. I know he has judged me for that blue eye shadow I was wearing when our love was ignited that day at Worlds of Fun. I’ll have to deal with that when my time is up on this earth. I guess you’ll have to deal with your judgments as well.

Good luck with that.

Romney promises Honey Boo Boo and her family cabinet positions if elected president

In an effort to put some life back into his campaign, Romney made a drastic move this week.

“We are excited to announce that Honey Boo Boo and her entire family will be joining the Romney administration once I am elected President.”

After realizing that the American people were more interested in watching Honey Boo Boo and her family, Mama, Dad, “Sugar Bear”, sisters, “Pumpkin” and “Chubbs”  and 17 year old new mom “Chickadee”, Romney realized that this family might be just the thing to make him and his campaign seem more in touch with the American people.

“The Romney camp is still evaluating what cabinet position the family will hold, but one thing is certain, they will have a place in a Romney administration.  The message that this family needed a spot in the Romney administration when Paul Ryan spoke at the RNC and Here Comes Honey Boo Boo received better ratings than Paul Ryan’s speech that the American people really connected with that family.”  Romney spokes person said.

“The Republicans are a party of inclusion.  We are demonstrating this by promising a place in our administration for Honey Boo Boo and her family as part of our administration.”

The Romney camp has laid out some possible positions that Honey Boo Boo and her family may hold once Romney is elected in the Fall.

The National Healthcare Initiative to Reduce Obesity

My mother has told me in the past that if you fart 12-15 times a day you can lose a little weight, so I think I’ll lose a lot of weight because I’m going to fart a lot. – Chubbs on dieting.

“First Lady Michelle Obama ran her initiative with more exercising and eating right.  Our initiative will be slightly different.  Farting is something everyone does and can be done with little or no effort.  A national initiative to increase farting can be done with so little effort and almost no increase in government spending.  It’s the falls right in line with the Republican platform.”  Romney adviser

Department of Health and Human Services, specifically the National Initiative to Reduce Teenage Pregnancy

It’s called a biscuit because it looks like a biscuit and it opens up. – Mama explaining a nickname for her private part Mama teaches sex ed: “All that boy wants is to get in your little biscuit, get a little piece, and he’s running.”  Mama explains teen pregnancy: “You do the do, you do the time.”

With Republicans wanting to cut Title X, the national family planning program and shut down all of the Planned Parenthood clinics nationwide, Republicans feel like this type of Sex Education will do the trick to stop all teenage pregnancy.  The reference to female body parts and breakfast food is just what young people need to understand female anatomy.  Also the clear explanation of “do the do” simplifies the act of sexual intercourse and the Replications feel like a national initiative can easily be launched with a clear understanding of what “do the do” is to stop all young people from ever considering having sex before marriage.

“It’s brilliant and we can’t wait to roll-out this this national initiative and finally rid ourselves of any pre-marriage procreation.” said an anonymous Republican insider.

Another option being considered is a place on the President’s Economic Advisory Counsel.  Honey Boo Boo has been quoted as saying, “A dollar makes me hollar.” 

“This is just the type of mentality we need on our economic advisory counsel.” Mitt Romney

The Republicans hope the inclusion of Honey Boo Boo and her family will provide the Romney campaign with a bump that it needs to help elect him in November.

Where are we in the 8 stages of Obama’s change?

There are eight stages of behavior change.  Let’s say we go to our doctor and we are obese as many Americans are.  Our doc says, “stop eating so many bloomin’ onions.”  Here is how the 8 stages of change model works for not eating all you can eat Chinese food lunch buffets.

Precontemplation:  I love me some all-you-can eat crab rangoons!

Contemplative:  I know crab rangoons are bad for me, but I gotta have some rangoons!

Preparation:  I’ll keep eating crab rangoons in September, but in October, no more crab rangoons!

Action:  Only carrot sticks from now on.  So long crab rangoons!

Maintenance:   Boy these carrot sticks are great!  I can’t believe I ever ate crab rangoon.

The last  election Obama dazzled us with a message of Change and Hope.  We wanted both.  We needed both.  We were hungry for both.  He served it up on a super-sized, strip mall of Chinese, all-you-can-eat lunch buffet and Americans helped ourselves to massive portions of yummy goodness with a side of duck sauce.

Stages of Change Model

When we elected Obama four years ago, we were in action mode!  Give me HOPE!  Give me CHANGE!  I gotta have it.  I’m ready!  We had eight years of the Bush administration to contemplate for change.

After four years of the Obama administration, the question everyone is asking is “Are you better off now than you were four years ago?”

If yes, vote Obama.

If no, vote Romney.

Is it really that easy?  How do I answer that question?  Where am I in my stages of change?  Like this model of behavior change, when I once was ready for action, maybe I relapsed along the way to preparation?  Isn’t that what do as a country?  I do it so frequently in my life, on my diet, on my exercise plan.  Why wouldn’t I do it with my politics?

During election time we may have voted a Democratic President into the White House, but so many seats in the House of Representatives are still filled by Republicans.  Doesn’t that means we switched as a country back to the Contemplative Stage?  Did we relapse in our change model from Action to Contemplation?  Did we lose hope along the way? We are impatient.  Maybe we didn’t feel like we were progressing fast enough.  The desire for progress was too great and the rate was too slow.  How easy we forget why we needed change in the first place.

How can we hold Obama responsible for inaction when we are the ones who relapsed in our behavior by having a Republican controlled House meaning so little would actually get done?  Aren’t we responsible for our own stagnation?

Maybe looking at these 8 stages of change, we can not only understand why so many diets fail, but also why so much of our political system fails.  Suddenly I have a craving for crab rangoon with a side of change.  I have a feeling I’m going to get a huge serving of it tonight!

 

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