Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics


Dear Kansas Democrats,


Here was the headline that jumped out on my twitter feed,

Spat between Democrats sees Hensley say to Francisco: ‘I’m done with you

You had me at spat.  Of course I’m going to click on it.  Goooo ooooonnnnnnn….

— An open rift among Kansas Senate Democrats was exposed recently after a vote on a school funding equity bill that is now being reviewed by the Kansas Supreme Court.

Lawrence Democrat Marci Francisco voted “pass” on the bill, igniting anger from Minority Leader Anthony Hensley, of Topeka.

“Marci: I’m done with you,” Hensley wrote to Francisco in a text message obtained by the Journal-World. “You vote to undermine my leadership all the time. To vote ‘pass’ on a bill that is clearly unconstitutional is a travesty to the education community.”

The message was sent to Francisco and two other individuals. It has since been forwarded and copied to a number of others, and was later obtained by the Journal-World. Both Francisco and Hensley confirmed the content of the text message.”

This article was barely hot off the press and the KS GOP was capitalizing on it – and who can blame them?

Democrats are done, even with each other 

What in the fresh hell Democrats?

It’s like you can’t get out of your own way.  You’ve got a Governor who is about as popular as a STD and Republicans who are to blame for bankrupting our state.  You have people finally standing up who can’t wait to vote these guys out of office. You should be in a position of strength from this and INSTEAD you decide this is a great time to air TEXTGATE 2016.  It’s like losing 15 pounds and rewarding yourself with a giant hot fudge sundae.  Talk about self-sabotage.

Since I care about our state and I don’t want the same people in office during the next election – I’m going to offer you a little texting advice.  Here are Aimee’s top three rules for texting.

  1. Don’t text mad.
  2. Don’t forward texts.
  3. Don’t forward mad texts.

It’s as simple as that.  I get that you have issues.  What party doesn’t, but do your best to ACT like you get along so we can all work together to get this state on a better path come the next election.

Yours for a friendlier texting world,



Dear MO lawmakers,

I am going to confess something just between you and me.  I have a superpower.  I have the ability to look into the future and predict what what will happen.  It’s not on all things or trust me, I would have already quit my day job, launched my highly successful reality television show on TLC and have a celebrity client list a mile long who would also be my BFFs.  My ability to predict the  future only applies to anti-gay bills.  I will use my superpower to predict what will happen if you pass SJR39.

SJR39 is a bill that (if passed) would grant protection for people who oppose gay marriage.  Goods and services could be denied if people oppose gay marriage.  Photographers, bakers and florists could deny services to gay people seeking those services for their wedding and SJR39 would provide protection to deny those services.

“A few of them (committee members) have asked for more time, because they’ve gotten legal memos just today and they’ve asked for more time to consider them,” state Rep. Elijah Haahr, R-Springfield, said Wednesday night.

As you consider those legal memos, I will predict the future if you pass SJR39 and hopefully this will provide you with a little clarity on what you should do.


Enjoy a good rock concert?  I know I do.  You can kiss those goodbye.  Just look at other states that have passed similar bills and all of the rock stars that now refuse to play those states in protest.

I have tickets to the Dixie Chicks concert in Kansas City this summer.  I think you and I both know this is a band that never misses a good protest.  They will cancel their concert.  The only thing KC fans will have to look forward to is me standing in the P&L district weeping and singing “Not Ready to Make Nice” at the top of my tone-deaf lungs.  Do you really want to be responsible for that hot mess?


I hear Republicans are pro-business.  Well, legislation like this is as anti-business as you can get.  Just look at the names that are against this legislation.

  • Warner L. Baxter, chairman, president and CEO of Ameren Corporation
  • John R. Sondag, president of AT&T Missouri
  • Steven H. Lipstein, president and CEO of BJC HealthCare
  • Jerald L. Kent, chairman and CEO of Cequel III, LLC
  • David Kemper, chairman and CEO of Commerce Bank
  • Larry Ryan, president, energy and water solutions, The Dow Chemical Company
  • David P. Hatfield, president and CEO of Edgewell Personal Care Company
  • James D. Weddle, managing partner of Edward Jones
  • George Paz, chairman and CEO of Express Scripts
  • Sam Fox, founder of Harbor Group
  • Mark Trudeau, president and CEO of Mallinckrodt Pharmaceuticals
  • Rob reeg, president, MasterCard operations and technology
  • Hugh Grant, chairman and CEO of Monsanto Company
  • Jack Dorsey, CEO of Square
  • Joe Reagan, president and CEO of the St. Louis Regional Chamber
  • James G. Powers, president of UniGroup
  • Mark S. Wrighton, chancellor of Washington University in St. Louis

You know something is seriously wrong when SJR39 has put me and Monsanto on the same side of an issue.  As a flaming liberal, I’m not really comfortable agreeing with Monsanto on anything.  Can we just wrap this up, kill this bill and I’ll go back to hating Monsanto?


Moving on to another area – sports!

And who doesn’t love sports?   Pass SJR39 and college sports will be heading elsewhere.

Good news is that I have a weekly card game that I will live stream for your sports enjoyment.  Let’s see…college basketball vs. ladies playing cards  I think it’s a win-win.


How does that religious freedom look now?   Pass SJR39 and that’s what you have to look forward to.  How about if you do the state of Missouri a favor, stop considering this bill and move on?  You and I both know it’s the right thing to do.   If you need a quick reminder this week, I’ll sing you a few tunes of the Dixie Chicks – you will start hating life and quickly defeat this bill.  Trust me.


Yours for using superpowers for good,








I was taking a writing break to go along with KS lawmakers’ spring break and then I read the latest about the Kansas revenue problems from last night so here I am. In fact, I almost flipped a coin to decide if I should write a blog about this (heads no, tails yes), but then I thought Shawn Sullivan might show up to take the coin to help with our revenue problems.

Buckle in- here we go (again)

Kansas is so broke….

How broke are we?

We are so broke we are going to replace the sunflower as our state flower with a money tree.

“State of Kansas revenue projections over the next 15 months were cut Wednesday by a quarter of a billion dollars to broaden the cash shortfall facing lawmakers and apply greater political pressure on Gov. Sam Brownback to deliver a road map to close the gap.”

We all know the story. Brownback and GOP lawmakers implemented the mothership of GOP tax cuts expecting an economic windfall to bestow itself on the state. Shock! It didn’t happen and left our state completely broke.  Every time S2 (Shawn Sullivan) opens his mouth it’s a broken record of revenue problems and budget issues. If it wasn’t so depressing it would be a snoozefest.

The Kansas Republicans are always quick with an excuse how it’s ANYTHING but their crazy tax plan that caused this shit show. And from the KSGOP PR playbook ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS find a way to blame Obama.  I give you Ray Merrick’s response as exhibit A.  Capture

Sure Ray – keep telling yourself that if it helps you sleep at night.  Now  we are evidently left with three options a la “Let’s Make a Deal” to remedy this mess and none of them involves winning A BRAND NEW CAR!!!! I won’t go over all of the options, but they involve robbing the highway fund, screwing over our higher education budget (again)  and messing with a large tobacco settlement that goes towards early childhood education programs.  All of the options are real winners <slow clap and major eye roll>.  Sullivan made sure we all knew that Brownback preferred option #1.

So we should go with options 2 or 3.

I’ll just leave option #4 riiiigggghhhttt here – a tax increase.



Somebody call MTV – Kansas lawmakers are on Spring Break 2016!  I don’t know where our Kansas lawmakers are headed for a little vacay, but one thing comes to mind when I think of Spring Break – sun, sand and a great music playlist.

That’s why I put together a spring break playlist that sums up the recent Kansas session.


Aersmith’s Janie’s Got A Gun.

In Kansas – Janie has a gun and soon so will Bobby and Susie.  If lawmakers have their way, all Kansas kids will have guns.  Whether it be guns on college campuses in 2017 or BB gun and air rifle clubs in our schools, our Kansas lawmakers never met a gun bill they won’t pass.

We get it, you are in bed with the NRA.  God forbid, we see the rise in gun accidents as these bills go into effect.  Time will tell.


Next we will focus on jobs or in Brownback’s case – the lack of job growth in Kansas.  For that we turn to Britney Spears to get right to the point with a snappy tune – Work Bitch.

From Yael Abouhalkah at the Star –

Brownback proclaimed in August 2014 when he was running for re-election that, “My goal for the next four years is 25,000 new jobs per year. That’s 100,000 new jobs for the hardworking people of Kansas.”

At that point, Kansas employment was 1,394,300.

But on Friday, state officials said Kansas had 1,395,900 jobs in February 2016.

That’s a gain of a puny 1,600 jobs in the 18 months since Brownback made his pledge.

Read more here


Brownback just announced Amazon is coming to Kansas with 1,000 new jobs.  I’m all for celebrating success. That’s only 22,400 more to go this year.   Baby steps people…baby steps.




Once upon a time, Kansas public schools were well-funded and teachers felt secure and appreciated.  Say good-bye to those days.  Now teachers unions are under fire, school funding is up in the air and our courts have threatened to shut down our schools if the funding situation isn’t figured out in time.  Lawmakers passed a school funding bill before they left for spring break, but we will see if it meets our constitutional funding standards that the Kansas courts are looking for.


I think Wrecking Ball is the only way to describe what lawmakers did to our Kansas public schools and the morale of our teachers.


LGBT Issues

Let’s end this playlist with the Student Physical Privacy Act bill that still has me shaking my head (and not in a good way).  This bill focuses on targeting transgender youth in Kansas schools.

The “Student Physical Privacy Act” would mandate that students only use bathrooms, locker rooms and shower rooms designated for their birth sexes, in all public schools and universities. A separate clause also allows students to sue their schools for $2,500 if the law isn’t fully enforced.

Who exactly is going to be the gender police?

I think Lady Gaga is a perfect way to end this playlist and what I think of this terrible bill.  Remember, there are many in Kansas who don’t believe like these lawmakers.


Dear Kansas Supreme Court,

Well, one phrase sums up today’s activity in the Kansas Senate – paybacks are a bitch.

In the ping-pong game of legislative vs. judicial branch, today was the Senate’s turn.  You had to know this was coming after you sent them a stinging ruling saying their funding of Kansas schools was at an unconstitutionally low level.

You could almost feel their childlike excitement as the Senate expanded all the ways they could impeach you with SB 439.

SB 439 would expand the grounds for impeachment of a Supreme Court Justice and establish grounds upon which a district court judge could be disciplined, suspended, and removed for cause to include the following:

1. Commission of treason;

2. Commission of bribery;

3. Commission of other indictable criminal offenses;

4. Commission of a breach of the public trust;

5. Commission of a breach of judicial ethics;

6. Failure to perform adequately the duties of office;

7. Attempting to subvert fundamental laws and introduce arbitrary power;

8. Attempting to usurp the power of the Legislative or Executive Branch of government;

9. Exhibiting discourteous conduct toward litigants, jurors, witnesses, lawyers or others with whom the justice or judge deals in an official capacity;

10. Exhibiting wanton or reckless judicial conduct;

11. Exhibiting personal misbehavior or misconduct;  

12. Failure to properly supervise, administer, or discipline judicial personnel; and

13. Other actions, which in accordance with Section 28 of Article 2 of the Kansas Constitution may constitute grounds for impeachment, or which in accordance with Section 15 or Article 3 of the Kansas Constitution, may constitute grounds for discipline, suspension, or removal for cause.

Kuddos to the Senate for their insane vagueness on #9 and #11.   I believe I’m exhibiting personal misbehavior just writing this blog.  Discourteous conduct?  Glad I’m not a Supreme Court justice.  My heavy sighs and exaggerated eye rolls would have me thrown off before you could say Judge Judy.

The only thing I can say is expand your impeachable offenses all they want, they have yet to constitutionally fund our schools.  Ball is in your court KS Senate.


Yours for discourteous conduct in the form of eye rolls,




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