Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Hi everyone!

Sorry it has been F-O-R-E-V-E-R since my last post.  There are only so many hours in the day to keep up on the Trump twitter feed, the Kardashian snapchats and the Brangelina divorce saga that I have been so bad with neglecting my own blog.

Let’s kick this off with a bang and talk about everyone’s favorite topic – Kansas school funding!



On Friday, the Shawnee Mission School District sent me (everyone) a link to an online survey asking for input to help formulate the district’s legislative platform and guiding principles on school funding in Kansas.  I had to hurry and find principles to help guide them, but I am up for the challenge.

FINALLY a chance to share  my thoughts on the school funding formula.  I mean up until this point I’ve been so reserved about my thoughts on this topic. (See approximately 1 billion tweets under hashtag #ksleg)


Here is a copy of the guiding principles document from the district. Buckle in and let’s do this.


      1. The first one gives me warm-fuzzies.  Nice that we teach our kiddos to play fair and they want to play fair with school funding.  Too bad defining “fair” is a bitch.  Good luck with that.
      2. This one is my favorite.  Everyone hearts financial sustainability, but my favorite part is “long-term.”  How do we measure long-term?  Long-term for me is when I stop being pre-menstrual. How about only in months that end in “y”?  For some it could be the next 50 years.
      3. I don’t know about you, but I’m a big fan of mediocrity in education.  <See above for the major eye-roll>
      4. See #1 – if it’s fair, wouldn’t it also be equal? Asking for a friend.
      5. Alternative revenue sources – if you are going to ask me to do a bake sale every other week, then I’m going to take the wire that connects my mouse to this computer and choke myself.  I’m just saying…
      6. Flexibility is great, but by how much?  Nothing good comes by letting people do whatever they want/whenever they want.
      7. Transparent = ALWAYS
      8. Vouchers = bad.  This will be the downfall of public education.
      9. No mandated consolidation….zzzz sorry I took a quick snooze on this one.  I will leave this one up to the experts.  I have opinions on A LOT of things, but I also know that some decisions need to be left up to the experts.  Ask me if  Kim Kardashian looks better as a blonde or a brunette and I have an opinion.  Ask me  if we should consolidate school districts and I’m going to tell you to ask an expert.  I’m not your gal.
      10. STOP THE ENDLESS CYCLE OF LITIGATION – could the right-wing, conservative who wrote this please stand up?  Why would we EVER want to stop our right to file a necessary lawsuit?  Yes a fair formula would stop the NEED to sue, however, we never want to take away our RIGHT to sue.  BIG difference.

Well Shawnee Mission School District and Governor Brownback, you asked for it.  Ultimately, at the end of the day, you can come up with any formula you want and if our state economy doesn’t recover it won’t make a damn bit of difference.  A healthy economy equals healthy funding for our Kansas schools.   Step 1, repeal the tax cuts.  Step 2, fix the formula.


Now I have to get back to the Trump twitter feed.  It’s been an hour and I’m SURE something has been posted that needs my immediately attention.


Yours for a healthy Kansas economy and excellent schools,





Dear Kansas voters,

Tuesday.  Wow.  What a night.  I wanted to write sooner, but I’ve been so busy running around town singing “Happy Days are Here Again” that I haven’t had a chance to sit down and write.  I know the Babs and Judy version is the classic, but since Kansas is moving out of 1960’s style politics I want to enjoy the more modern Glee kids singing their hearts out as a nod to all the winners of Tuesday’s election.


Moderate candidates beat conservatives in 14 races across Kansas.  Names like Melcher, Bruce and Knox are all gone.  Gone with them will be such memorable legislation like only heterosexual, praying, non-smoking, non-drinking people can provide foster care to children and sweet, innocent Kindergarten teachers must be packing heat in the sing-a-long circle at public school.  Kansas is no longer a conservative policy playground that lawmakers can have their way with.  Buh-bye education funding fight with the hashtag #fundtheformula.


The most epic loss of the night was Congressman Tim Huelskamp of the Freedom Caucasus a.k.a. the Tea Party.  He lost to Roger Marshall, a guy that was so unknown that when you Google him the only result you get is a “?”.   Huelskamp and his supporters blamed everyone and everything, but himself for the loss.


“In an ugly and dishonest campaign, Tim’s record was attacked and misrepresented by big money special interest groups who wanted to exact their revenge,” Jordan said. “Republicans need to be unified behind conservative principles to stop the Obama/Clinton agenda. The House Republican leadership’s opposition to Tim Huelskamp significantly damaged the ability of House Republicans to do that.”


The most productive thing Huelskamp did as a Congressman was troll Obama on Twitter.  I had a drinking game where every time Huelskamp tweeted the word “Obummer” I would drink.  I was drunk most of 2014.  The message to politicians is clear – work together or voters will vote you out.  The time for polarizing politics is over.


The biggest issue facing voters in the general election is figuring out the difference between a moderate Republican and a Democrat in Kansas.  Does anyone want to clue me in?  I’m thinking yard sign color, but it’s anyone’s guess.


Whatever the outcome in the general election, I know that good times are FINALLY ahead for Kansas!


Congratulations candidates and well done voters!

Yours for finally getting Kansas out of this mess,



Hey kids, what do you want to do this hot, summer morning?

Hang out at the neighborhood pool?


Go to a nice, cool museum in town?


I know! How about if you stand in the blazing sun, holding medically inaccurate signs yelling things like, “you are cursed to hell for eternity” at the women and staff going into the local Planned Parenthood?

You betcha!! That sounds like the perfect plan for helping me grow up to become a well-adjusted adult. I’ll grab the poster board!

That was the narrative that played out in my mind as I scanned the crowd of protestors out in front of the local Planned Parenthood this morning to witness the Summer of Normalcy.  #KnowWhatsNormal #NN16

There were about 30 protestors gathered in front of the clinics, but what was shocking was that about half of them were small children.

None of this shocked the clinic escorts who were also gathered to help the women safely access the clinic.  The clinic escorts were familiar with the protestors and their chants.

“There are regulars who are here every Saturday.  They do a lot of yelling at us,” said Paige a clinic escort who was volunteering for a two-hour shift.


Michael, who has been volunteering for over three years, does it for the same reason he feels everyone should get involved.

“I don’t like women being harassed.”

Such a simple concept and yet such a powerful statement.

Then, I met Bob.  Bob is not an official escort.  Bob rides his bike with a Planned Parenthood sign on the front of it by the protestors every Saturday.  He has been doing it since 1985 at different clinic locations around Kansas City.  He is not an official volunteer for Planned Parenthood, but does it because he feels it’s the right thing to do.

“Things aren’t as violent now as they used to be back when I started.  It’s like they know they aren’t going to win the fight to outlaw abortion.  When we started, they (the protestors) felt like they just needed one more Supreme Court Justice and then abortion would be illegal, but that never happened.”

I spoke with another group of escorts who had gathered to greet patients next to the protestors.

“The escorts become a community and friends.  We are in this together for reproductive justice,” said one escort.

One protestor handed me materials as I was driving away.  Looking at them, I was comforted in knowing that their materials were as old and outdated as this fight.

Anti-Choice Materials

Anti-Choice Materials

This post is dedicated to all of the escorts during this Summer of Normalcy, but especially Bob.  Sometimes all it takes is one person, a bike and a sign to stand up for what’s right.

Ride on Bob….ride on.


Dear Mr. Kobach,


We all know you as the caped crusader of voter I.D. laws.   Your exhaustive effort to disenfranchise voters with your restrictive voter I.D. laws have turned up voter fraud cases in the whopping single digits. (applause…applause)

And now the media has the nerve to criticize you for using the state plane!

Kansas official Kris Kobach uses state plane to speak at GOP events

Read more here:


What did they expect? Disenfranchising voters, most of them Democrats, can’t be done in a car!   Duh!

Now taxpayers are going to probably be just a little pissed to know that you are using the “company jet” to attend Republican rallies when I just pulled up the latest revenue numbers from June.  Here is a picture of them.


Hell, what’s another $34 more million in the hole?

At least the media gave you the right to defend your use of the plane,

“Kobach defended his use of the plane by saying that he’s doing it less than former Republican Secretary of State Ron Thornburgh, who also flew with family members and logged about 8,700 miles over two years.”

Read more here:


Let me step in here.  What I think you are trying to say here is this-


If Bobby was pulling Susie’s hair and Jimmy came in later and also pulled Susie’s hair, but pulled it less, we shouldn’t punish Jimmy because he did it less.
Makes perfect sense.


The state plane is a King Air 350. I went to the King Air website to check out this plane you have been jet setting around the Land of Oz in.  As the state of Kansas deals with major budget cuts, the voters will be comforted to know that the airplane can handle two sets of clubs and a fancy, round train case.  (You know you are uber-wealthy when you have a round piece of luggage.)


“The Kansas Highway Patrol, which oversees aircraft operations, says it has no specific guidelines and leaves its usage up to each state agency.”

Here’s a nifty idea guys – get some guidelines.

In the meantime, Mr. Kobach, if you want to continue spending your time traveling around speaking at Republican functions, here is a link that I think you will find helpful:

For the sake of the Kansas taxpayer, keep your feet on the ground and out of the skies,




They are finished.

Kansas lawmakers finished their last day in session.  If your hair doesn’t have enough gray in it and you are longing to end your day with an excruciating tension headache created from nothing, but complete frustration over state government- cue up twitter feed #ksleg and read all about what you missed.

Of course KS is joining the legal challenge against the federal mandate allowing transgender youth to use the bathroom of their choice.  Do you think they would miss an opportunity to confuse the capitol with a church?  No way.  Here’s the winning quote,

“We have to return to Christendom, we have sacred responsibility to preserve it and pass it on to our children.” Sen Fitzgerald

News flash – you have a responsibility to represent all Kansans.  You can return to Christendom in your church.

Moving on.

The school funding crisis was not resolved.  In fact, no one knows when this will be resolved, but the clock is ticking.  Just a friendly reminder lawmakers that the countdown clock is now the same as my age 28 <cough> <cough>.  Based on the reports and tweets, no one can tell when this will be resolved.  Some say special session will be called to resolve this and others think that the government is going to play a risky game of chicken with the Supreme Court to see if they really will close schools.

Brownback issued a strong statement indicating he is up for a game of chicken –

“I will work with the Attorney General and Legislative leadership to respond aggressively and appropriately to any action taken by the Kansas Supreme Court to close our schools,” he said in the statement. “Kansas has great schools and they should remain open. The courts should not be playing politics with our children’s education.”

Playing politics with our children’s education?  That’s funny coming from a guy who played politics with our entire state…

Which leads us to our next bit of Kansas economic happy news from today. #Sarcasm

Kansas missed revenue estimates for May by about $74 million dollars.  Response from the Brownback administration – it’s not our fault.  Oil, agriculture and aviation industries are all down.  There were also too many partly cloudy days, the sunflowers didn’t grow to the right height and the waving wheat didn’t sure smell sweet. (wait that last part is a line from Oklahoma).  My point – excuses, excuses, excuses.

Here’s my favorite part of the story,

Brownback has tasked Shawn Sullivan, the budget director, with conducting “a full, independent review with outside experts to evaluate current procedures related to revenue estimating and budgeting” to determine why the state’s current process “fails to provide accurate estimates.”

Read more here


S2 Pick me!  I’ll be your outside expert!



It doesn’t take a genius to know what’s wrong here.  Close the LLC loophole, revise the failed tax cuts of the Brownback administration and this will stop happening.  If not, I’ll be telling my children,  “I remember roads.  Kansas used to have those.”



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