Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

This comment was posted by a reader a few days ago.  With all the news breaking the last few days, I haven’t been able to address it…..






Dear Ms. Patton,


Today is Friday June 26, and I’m hoping to reach you before your next posting.


You see, I have this sense of clairvoyance, and it’s telling me that you’re about to post your thoughts on why we should ban the Confederate flag, etc., just as so many other left extremist liberals have been doing over this past week. Now, far be it from me to prevent you from expressing your opinion, but if I’m correct, it would be only fair to forewarn you that I will roast you with a factual rebuttal.
Have a pleasantly eccentric weekend and please know your American history before commenting on the faux controversy concerning the Confederate flag.
Thank you


Dear Mr. Mental Illness,


First, thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to respond.  I love when people take the time to comment on my blog whether they agree or disagree with me.  Second, I wasn’t sure how to address you based on  your name.  I wasn’t sure if it was Mr. Illness or Mr. MentalIllness or if we were casual enough that I could just address you as an Issue.  Either way I appreciate your formality so I will respect you and address you the same way.   I’m also not sure of your gender, but for the sake of this post, I’m going to assume you are male.

I’m also going to take the liberty of picturing you this way (see picture to the right) when you wrote this comment since you have such a “big” commitment to getting ready to “roast me with a factual rebuttal” on the Confederate Flag.  You are welcome.


Now I, like most Americans, have an opinion on how state governments use the Confederate Flag.  It does not extend itself to private business or personal property.  To me that falls under the protection of the 1st Amendment.  It doesn’t mean that I support waving the flag or what it stands for.  Now I’ll warn you as well, I was an American history major in college and the only good that degree has done me is kick some serious ass in Jeopardy.  I am fully aware of how the Confederate Battle Flag came to be.  I’m also fully aware of how it was used during the Civil Rights era.  Before I launch into a snooze-fest history blog post, I thought I would do something you would find extra helpful.


Lean in real close Mental Illness….instead of writing roasting threats to bloggers that you don’t agree with, you can start your own blog and write what ever flies your own flag.  It’s a huge secret that thousands upon thousands of bloggers know about.  Blogging is free.  It takes time…lots and lots of time.  It takes a strong commitment, but you can start your own blog and roast people you don’t agree with all day long.  You don’t have to wait for “leftist extremist liberals” like me to take our own sweet time posting our crazy ideas.  Here are some easy steps to get started:



Be sure to include me on your link so I can see your new creation.  I promise to post comments that will provide you with good material if you promise to keep reading and commenting on mine.  We will consider it a constructive sharing of ideas from one leftist extremist liberal to a radical conservative fundamentalist.  Sound good?
Best of luck on your new venture!


Happy fourth of July!
1837 (1)_13

Dear Governor Brownback,


I was so busy on Friday celebrating the decision by the Supreme Court on gay marriage #LoveWins that I owe you an apology.   I should have taken a moment, put down the rainbow confetti and been more sensitive to the fact that you had a horrible week.  In fact,  if you google “worst week for an American politician” your name will come up as a top result. Ouch.


In case last week seemed like a fog, why don’t you and I review what happened?  Some say the best way to heal from a terrible time is to face your defeats head on.  Here they are in no particular losing order….


1. The Supreme Court decision on gay marriage.  Some would say KS has led the fight for traditional  marriage and you were the leader in this very dull parade, however, on Friday you lost. Your reaction was classic.


“Activist courts should not overrule the people of this state, who have clearly supported the Kansas Constitution’s definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman,” Brownback said.


Yes, KS voted for traditional marriage, but we can both agree that voter turnout in KS is about 10% on a perfect day and the average age of a KS voter is about 85.  It doesn’t exactly represent what most Kansans want.


2. Then there was the other ruling by the Supreme Court to uphold Obamacare….again.  This one had to sting like a mother since you have not exactly been quiet about the fact that you want Obamacare to fail.  Poor baby – looks like ACA isn’t going anywhere.  That must really hurt.


3.  Moving on to the stay on your latest abortion bill – we get it, you are pro-life and no matter what the pro-life bill says, you are signing it.  Turns out, the latest one went one step too far and the court said no go.  How quickly we forget that these pro-life bills cost our state money to defend and how our state is….what’s the word?  Begins with a “b” and ends with an “e”.  It just came to me! BROKE!


4.  Finally the kicker – the ruling A-G-A-I-N that our school funding is unconstitutionally too low.  Turns out the ping-pong match of fund the formula/change the formula that ended in your favor to change the formula has once again been found to be unfair.

Damn activist courts.


Whew…I’m exhausted just typing that many defeats.  I guess the only good thing is Kansas doesn’t fly the Confederate Flag so there’s that.


Well, I’ve got to run.  I have more celebrating to do.


Sincerely, but not really,




Dear Charles Cotton,


I needed to reach out to you, Mr. Cotton, because there are few things in life that cause me so much shock that I am speechless for a moment.  My friends will tell you that this RARELY happens.  I admit the last time I was speechless was when Roseanne Barr belted out the National Anthem in 1990.


As a National Rifle Association Board Member, you said this about the pastor who was killed in Charleston and I was speechless after reading it,


“And he voted against concealed-carry. Eight of his church members who might be alive if he had expressly allowed members to carry handguns in church are dead. Innocent people died because of his position on a political issue.”


Translation – The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.  Gee where have I heard that before?


You immediately did damage control saying you made this statement as a “private citizen” and not representing the NRA.


Chuck, lets address this private citizen to private citizen.   I’m just a snarky blogger who writes a lot about gun control.  I’m not paid by any gun control association.  I don’t get any money for writing this blog except about a few bucks on ads that amount to a nice dinner at Applebees.  I’m just a writer fed up with gun deaths in America.


<cue Arena Rock Music>


Chuck, buckle in for the ride, because here is the deal.  You and I both know in your “official capacity” as Mr. Cotton, Board Member for the NRA, that your organization has lobbied against federal studies on gun deaths in America so it’s hard to even know how bad the real problem is.  The NRA has lobbied the state governments against background checks, permits and safety training for gun owners.  Your organization has made sure that laws are in place guns can be gifted to family members or purchased at gun shows without much over-site at all.


So technically, some might say that your organization could be to blame for the shooter obtaining his weapon from his family member after two arrests.


But I’m not going to blame the NRA for the Charleston shooting.  I’m going to keep the blame with the shooter, because that’s where it belongs.  You, however, are going to take that insensitive step and blame the victims in this whole massacre saying they could have been armed to prevent this.


Oh Chuck….here is where you are not only insensitive jerk, but also wrong.


From the Washington Post,

“A recent report from the Violence Policy Center, a gun control advocacy group, analyzing FBI data found that “guns are rarely used to kill criminals or stop crimes.” In 2012, there were 8,342 criminal gun homicides, compared to only 259 justifiable gun homicides, according to the report.”


Translation – more guns aren’t stopping homicides.  More guns are increasing homicides in this country.


And finally this is called the icing on the cake –


“And last year, an FBI report on mass shootings found that unarmed citizens were three times more likely to successfully stop an active shooter than armed private citizens. Armed civilians stopped only 4 percent of the mass shooting incidents in the FBI’s study.”



You can continue to kid yourself as a Board Member of the NRA or as a private citizen.  I don’t care what hat you are wearing when you decide to spout of this nonsense, but at the end of the day it’s just that – complete nonsense.



You owe the families of the shooting victims an apology.  With or without a gun, that shooting was going to happen that day.  That shooter accomplished his mission and now we are left as a nation to mourn, comfort the survivors and figure out how to prevent tragedies like this from happening in the future.  The lives of our citizens depend on it.



Yours for not blaming gun victims for their own deaths,





3d render of growing taxation concept

Dear Governor Brownback,


The dust has settled from the largest tax hike in Kansas history and you finally spoke to the press about it yesterday.  Like you, I’m trying to be optimistic about this enormous tax hike and look on the bright side.  Let’s just agree to call it something besides a gigantic tax hike and come up with another word for it.


How about if we call it a voluptuous  tax swell?  Yes, that sounds so much better to soften this killer tax increase.  It’s the largest Kansas tax swell in history.


The worst part of the swell came in the form of the sales tax increase that will impact middle-class and poor Kansans the most.


In response you said,


“I understand people are concerned about how a sales tax of 6.5 percent will affect them on a day-to-day basis, and based on consumer expenditure survey data, which estimates 45 percent of a household’s expenditures are subject to sales taxes, a household making right around $36,000 will see an annual sales tax increase of $56.35. A household making $48,000 or just under that will see an increase of $75.20,” Gov. Brownback said.


Dang that media for leaving out the rest of your quote.  You know what they say about the liberal media! (wink…wink)


You went on to say…..


“Kansans will be able to easily adapt to a lifestyle of Ramen noodles and Tuna Helper with this new sales tax increase.  Earlier this year when we restricted welfare recipients from activities like going to the swimming pool on government funds, we felt like we singled them out.  With this new sales tax increase, now most Kansans wont’ be able to afford luxuries like swimming or going to the movies.  The message is clear – we are inclusive in the state of Kansas.  When one Kansan suffers – we want all Kansans to suffer.”


Glad I could be here to offer up the rest of the statement.  You can always count on me.


Yours for hanging in there and riding the wave,




Dear NRA,


It’s me again.  I know I’m not your favorite blogger since we didn’t exactly see eye-to-eye back in 2013 (click here to read about that) or ever for that matter , but I just had to reach out.  It turns out we have something in common.


No, I’m not carrying around a lady pistol in my ultra-bedazzeled holster ready to shoot an unsuspecting burglar who wants to break in and steal my rather large and obnoxious  collection of painted wine glasses with sayings like, “without family wine wouldn’t be necessary” or “I am aging like fine wine, complex and fruity.”


What we have in common is our love of denial. I’ve been in denial that my blonde hair is really gray.  Yes, I’m a brunette, but I just thought I was suddenly turning blonde.  Hey, it can happen. You have spent years in denial that the homicide rate hasn’t been linked to the repealing of permit laws and safety training in order to own a firearm.


Oh how wrong we both were.


According to a new study put out by Johns Hopkins University and the University of California, the reduction in homicides is related to permit and training laws.  The study looked at Connecticut’s law passed in 1994 that required people purchasing a gun to get a license and training before obtaining the gun.


“In a study released Thursday in the American Journal of Public Health, they estimate that the law reduced gun homicides by 40 percent between 1996 and 2005. That’s 296 lives saved in 10 years.”


Here’s my favorite quote from the article,


“People assume incorrectly that criminals will do anything and everything in terms of cost and risk to get their hands on a gun,” he said. “But that simply is not what the data tells us.” Connecticut’s law didn’t stop criminals from acquiring guns, but it deterred enough of them that the gun homicide rate dropped.”


The study then looked at Missouri who repealed their permit law in 2007 and the homicide rate is up sharply.  My state, Kansas recently passed the same type of legislation and time will tell what our homicide rate will look like in a few years.



I’m no fortune-teller, but my bet is you are going to dismiss this study.  You are going to say that there are other factors that contributed to the reduction in the homicide rate.  You are going to say that laws that require permits and training infringe on people’s 2nd amendment rights and it’s just not worth it.


I think it’s time we both own up to reality.  A 40% reduction rate is enough to ask our state legislatures to pass laws requiring permits and safety training again.   It’s enough to ask you to back off on your lobbying efforts in this area.  I’m going to own up to my gray hair and call the my salon ASAP!


Yours for helping to prevent unnecessary gun deaths,



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