Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

I watched the GOP debate on CNN last night.  I admit I did not watch the whole thing.  I ended up watching about an hour of it.  That was about enough for me to draw these conclusions.  One, the biggest winner of the night was men’s fashion.  Long gone were the traditional dark blue suits and navy blue or red ties.  This goes for everyone except Ron Paul.  I feel like it takes everyone on the Paul campaign to get Ron Paul’s pocket protector out of his shirt pocket, let alone into contemporary men’s clothing.  I applaud them for just getting the old guy dressed.

Tonight the candidates looked radiant in light blue ties and Newt scored with the daring purple tie.  We all know that purple represents royalty.  I guess he was going for American, political royalty with his choice of purple.  American, political royalty, like the Kennedy era, is a thing of the past.  His campaign has turned to that flicker of a candle wick right before it turns to smoke and the flame dies out.  Newt could not even be bothered to sit up straight in his chair.  He was leaning back with his jacket suit open and his big belly hanging out like the fat cat he is.  I felt like at any moment he was going to stick his hands down his pants Al Bundy style.  This is not the image of our next President.  He knows it and we know it, Campaign Newt is Campaign Over.  Somebody hit the gong a la Gong Show style.  Frame that Time Magazine cover and hang it in his man cave.  Newt had his 15 minutes this campaign.

The parts of the debate I did watch were so predictable.  There was the contraception hate off.  At one point Paul decided that all birth control pill were equal to abortion pills.  Dude, the 1850’s called and they want their OBGYN back.  I’m not sure when you practiced medicine, but it is starting to become embarrassing.  Statements like that are just dumb.  Women don’t die from broken hearts and we don’t bleed people as a cure anymore.  Young people may love your idea of freedom, but your points about modern medicine suck.

Santorum and Romney just tried to one up each other about how much they hate contraception, Title X and Planned Parenthood.  We get it guys, no need to continue to beat that dead horse.  It becomes a waste of time.  CNN, you could have saved that time and just said, please refer back to the other 19 debates if you require more information on the candidate’s stance on this issue.  Then they tried to out children each other.  Even more proof that natural family planning isn’t so great at controlling families.  There is the rhythm method part, but then there is the super gross part about vaginal mucus that nobody talks about.  I can’t wait until we have a nation that has to monitor their vaginal mucus for birth control.  That will be awesome dinner conversation.

I think the best part was when CNN’s camera panned the audience.  Note to whoever stages the audience: find some minorities.  Seriously any minorities will do.  Even some white people with a tan would have been better than what I saw.  That was the whitest audience ever assembled.  At least with Herman Cain in the race there were some of his relatives in the audience of those debates adding to the mix.  Like I said in the beginning, maybe I missed the minorities and they were at the back of the crowd and did get to ask questions, but when I turned in I almost had to put on sunglasses to stop the white glare from the audience.  Hard to get the feel that the GOP represents all people when the audience and the candidates only look like they support white people.  Of course, this is just my opinion.

In conclusion, I will miss these spirited debates.  There is so much more to discuss, but once we figure out who the GOP nominee will be then we will get to the actual Presidential debates.  Those will be really fun.  I’m still on the edge of my seat waiting to figure out who the nominee will be.  I think it has come down to one of the two in the light blue ties.  Which one, I have no idea.


One thought on “My GOP debate review: good ties, boring topics & the all white crowd

  1. says:

    Great recap! I think Rick Santorum is the human equivalent of the boogeyman. It kind of has to be a nightmare that he’s doing as well as he is.

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