Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Dear State of Kansas:

In my free time, I love to read restrictive abortion legislation. Tonight, it was between your house bill 2598 and the latest People Magazine. Sure enough, your HB 2598 proved to be more thrilling than Kim Kardashian’s latest love interest. As thrilling as it was, there are some things I think I should point out to you, Kansas. See, the plot was good and character development was excellent; princess played by the pregnant woman, dragon played by doctor, brave and honest prince played by you, the state of Kansas. So the plot, princess gets herself pregnant and seeks out a legal abortion. Dragon attempts to give her a legal abortion, but wait…brave and honest prince, (state of KS) comes to save her. Brave and honest prince does this by various measures:

1. Allows the husband and/or parents if princess is under 18 to sue the doctor for cost x 3 of abortion plus attorney costs.

2. Provide princess scientifically inaccurate information that was written directly from a so called “crisis pregnancy center” to princess.

3. Charging dragon with a Class A misdemeanor for violating unfair rules put in place by brave and honest prince!

Now I have read my share of fairy tales since I am raising a beautiful, adopted 5 year old daughter. In my fair tales, the prince is usually applauded for his use of bravery and honesty when saving the princess. What I think you lack here, State of KS is the honesty part.

First, I do not have a law degree like the brilliant minds who must have written this legislation, so I may be totally off base, but I don’t think it is going to be possible to prosecute #1. See if the abortion happens, proving paternity is impossible. It is written into the legislation that if the person is “married” then husband will be able to sue. Here is an example of the defense I would use to fight this, “I cheated”. I rest my case. Your assumption here State of KS is that all married people are faithful and therefore, all pregnancies must be the husband’s. Isn’t that cute! Your innocence is part of your charm. That is further proof this is a fairy tale.

Second., have you read the “required material” you are asking that clinics hand out? The information is unproven – including risk of premature birth in future pregnancies, risk of breast cancer..This is your fiction not mine. Aren’t you worried about setting a precedence here. You are giving the ok for doctors to hand out false information in this country and they can use the defense, “the dragons did it”. Also, I don’t think in your required material you need to put the part about the egg and sperm meeting to create pregnancy. The princess probably gets that or they wouldn’t be seeking an abortion in the first place. Maybe that part is better served for our youth to know how not to end up facing the dragon in the first place. Also, in fetal development, you left out the stage where the fetus tap dances.

Third, do you really want to charge dragon with a misdemeanor? Practicing medicine should never be a crime in this country. I know that brave princes receive a lot of political donations from doctors. If you start charging any of them with crimes this might cause some doctors to pull some of their campaign contributions. They might not love that princes’s in this country are acting like God and charging anyone in their profession with a crime for performing legal procedures.

Now my brave prince, I know you honor the Kings of the Castle (a.k.a. the Founding Fathers of our Constitution) The Kings wrote this little gem:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.

See my brave and honest prince, you do a great job with the life and liberty part, especially when defending your right to own assault weapons, but you fall short on the pursuit of happiness portion. I argue that the princesses may seek out the legal option of abortion for various reason, but one may be because of what the founding fathers, I mean, the kings, said was a right endowed by their Creator to the American people…the pursuit of happiness and that is no fairy tale but a very real possibility. It is not your job to continue qualifying everything to your liking. This falls into liberty or freedom like freedom of choice and if that choice is pursuit of happiness the kings have blessed that choice. It is not for you to say if they did or not. I will interpret their intentions to say they did. (and you will interpret their intentions to say they did not so we cancel each other out-sticking out my tongue like a 5 year old)

Thank you brave and honest prince for reading my letter. I enjoyed reading your fairy tale, I mean HB 2598. I hope you know that by voting this bill into law, you are handicapping the state of Kansas to defend expensive lawsuits and costly materials that are false in information. I agree that you have a right to be pro-life, but please keep that mission to your churches and neighborhoods. I prefer my tax dollars not be spent writing fairy tales.

Thank you,

the wicked witch of Johnson County, KS

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2 thoughts on “HB 2598, a letter to Kansas about your great fairy tale

  1. Lana says:

    I hate that you left out my favorite part of the story, on pages 3-4 of HB2598, where it’s established that although a doctor can be sued for performing a legal abortion, he CANNOT be sued for lying to a woman and causing her to carry a child to term that is non-viable or has a genetic disease or abnormality, even if the lawsuit is to help her pay for the cost of medical care that she is legally required to provide for the child. Isn’t it a wonderful example of encouraging honesty and trustworthiness in our physicians? Hoping for a happy ending here!

  2. A and says:

    Well written

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