Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Quick somebody wake Oprah!  Get her back to Harpo studios STAT!  The mommy wars have just erupted again.  It’s on like Donkey Kong people, that’s right..flash back to 1985 when this whole thing started.  It’s just like that same zit on my cheek that keeps reappearing and won’t go away (also started I believe in 1985), do stay at home mom’s work?  OMG! 

Why are we still talking about this?  Why does twitter have its panties in a wad over this one today?  Turns out Hilary Rosen, a democratic political strategist was on AC360 and made a statement that Mitt Romney should stop looking to his wife to guide him on women’s economic struggles because she hasn’t worked a day in her life.

Oh no she didn’t!  Hil, honey.  Ms. Romney raised 5 boys.  5, J Crew photo shoot ready keeping them out of trouble for political family reasons, boys.  I’m sure it was very difficult raising 5 boys, shuttling them in different cadilacs from one country club to another for a golf lesson, football practice, tennis lessons, water polo lessons,  crew team practice, pep club, Morman choir practice, student senate election, debate club, boy scout sleep overs, etc. etc.  It had to be difficult telling the maids how to iron each Ralph Lauren button down in all the variety of sherbert colors correctly and make sure each boy had the correct Gap khaki pants in the right dresser drawer. 

Ok, ok…rich SAHMs. Calm down.  I’m making fun.  I know moms work hard.  All mom’s work hard.  Stay at home moms, working moms, part time working moms, welfare moms, military moms, married moms, single moms, teenage moms, adoptive moms, stay at home dads, gay moms, gay dads married to moms. 

If you think I should be struck down for making fun of Ms. Romney – don’t worry your pretty little head.  That’s been taken care of.  Here’s how my morning started.

Running late to work and had darling daughter in the car.  Drove through McDonalds for breakfast, because I’m the kind of mom who gets my daughter’s day going with a nutritious breakfast of a sausage biscuit and chocolate milk (large diet coke for working mom).  Driving like a bat out of hell for the highway, daughter manages to drop chocolate milk all over her Hippo pillow pet on the floor of the backseat of my mom car.  (insert major crying)  Turn car around and head for home to give favorite hippo pillow a bath in the washing machine.  Grab “new” hippo (darling daughter never accepted “new” hippo – only allows “new” hippo in case of emergencies with “old” hippo like chocolate milk baths).  We purchased “new” hippo because “old” hippo has been with daughter for 4 years.  Yank my floor mat out of the car before the sour milk smell kicks in.  Along with floor mat covered in milk, a headband, some loose change and her Moses action figure – they were selling them at the Dollar Store!  Moses may have successfully parted the Red Sea, but he wasn’t able to survive the milk bath.

Back in the car with Darling Daughter now drinking water.  Still driving like a crazy woman so not to be more than an hour late for work.  Arrive at preschool and enter to find out….it’s PAJAMA DAY!  Totally forgot to read the email that it is PAJAMA DAY!  Damn it.  Out pops daughter’s bottom lip and the tears start.  Daughter is one of the only kids not in her pajamas.  I can calculate the mental damage being done all before 9 am.  I can’t remember my exact pep talk, but I think it had something to do with me buying her a pony.

I hand her off to her preschool teachers to deal with.  I promise to pay my bill and thank them a million times for raising my daughter.  For the future therapist who counsels her through her difficult teen years…I’m so happy I’ve provided you with things to talk about. 

To the SAHMs and the working moms, let’s just agree that raising children is the hardest job in the entire world.  We are all frazzeled, exhausted and just hoping we’re doing it while inflicting as little damaging to these poor souls as possible.  As another Hil once said, “it takes a village.” In my case, my village has a chocolate milk covered Hippo.


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