Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

I was watching the Today Show this week and caught an interview with Glamour Magazine’s editor-in-chief, Cindi Levie who was chatting with Ann Curry about a list that was published in 1997 called 30 things every woman should have and should know by 30. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/24/turning-30-30-things-every-woman-should-have-and-should-know_n_1447368.html

I’ll admit, I glanced at the list quickly. Why? Because I’m forty, busy and frankly only kinda give a crap. Then I started thinking, I want a list. I have always been intrigued by lists like these, “What Every Woman Should Have in Her Purse”, “10 Things You MUST Say On A First Date”, etc. Who comes up with this and why is it so? I have decided I must have a list so I’ve come up with this: I’m Forty And Here Is A Top 10 List of What Every Woman Must Have Or Do Before 40 (because I said so damn it).

10. Go to a movie, a restaurant or for that matter on vacation by yourself and be comfortable while doing it.

9. Invest in a really good ice cream scooper. I’m talking about a good one with the metal teeth that cuts through the ice cream, not the plastic, crappy kind. Ice cream always makes things better.

8. Have a cocktail/wine mentor. This is somebody that you believe is super cool ordering alcoholic beverages. This means you don’t have to do your own research, but simply follow their lead and look cool by association. It saves a ton of time.

7. Have a cause. Just something other than yourself that gets you passionate. I don’t care what it is..animals, the earth, kids, cancer, just something that you devote a little time and energy to that keeps you grounded.

6. Find a therapist early. You’re going to need one. Even if you think everything is fine now, by the time you’re forty, you, like everyone else in white, middle class America, needs a therapist.

5. Don’t ever swear that you’ve “learned your lesson and you’ll never do that again.” Trust me, you haven’t and you will.

4. Here’s the deal – its just hair, it will grow back. Never cry about a bad haircut. People are dying in this world every day from starvation, illness, war, etc. Crying about a haircut or bad color is just plain stupid.

3. Follow the headlines enough that you can have a somewhat intelligent conversation. I’m not saying you need to know the whole history to the current situation in Afghanistan, but know enough to be able to say whether you think our troops should stay or go. If you have time to Keep up with the Kardashians, you have time to quickly read the headlines.

2. Get a great tweezers. By the time your forty, crazy eyebrow hair will break free from the boundaries of your eyebrows and end up on your chin. To this day, I don’t understand how it happens, but it does. You absolutely have to get a good tweezers.

1. Write a kick ass list like this for no reason while watching the Daily Show. It is so empowering and now makes me feel like anything is possible! Maybe I’ll do another one tomorrow just because I can. Why? Because I’m 40 and at 40 I feel confident to do my own thing, make as many lists as I want and I don’t really care if anyone follows this advice or not. That is the biggest difference between 30 and 40.

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