Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

I think I’ve heard it all. Stick a fork in me, because I’m done. The Romney camp has announced that they will announce Romney’s choice for a VP by a smart phone app. How very 2012 technology forward of you Romney camp.

I am addicted to my iPhone so immediately I downloaded the new VP app. It’s called “Mitt’s VP”. How awesome that we are so friendly with the potential leader of the free world to informally call him Mitt . I opened Mitt’s VP to see that I need to sign in or sign up “to receive VP news and gain access to exclusive merchandise”. Exclusive merchandise? Like what? Maybe a special koozie with Mitt’s face on it?

Anyway, I established my account and needed to create a password. A password? Is this in case someone happens to steal my phone at the same nanosecond that the announcement of Mitt’s VP is only on the app and not announced in the press? Good thinking Mitt’s VP – password protect that top secret info. Now I’m annoyed that I need to remember yet another password. My password starts with an “A” and ends with an “E” – I’ll save you the trouble, it’s “awesome” (what did you think it was?).

Anyhoo, I signed up giving my address and email. Then I find out that a special bumper sticker will be sent to me after the announcement. Okey dokey, from there I go to the VP tab and sure enough there is a big shadow box and it’s empty. Ooohh, ahhh so..what’s the word…so…lame. It just sits there empty with “Coming Soon” in the empty frame.

That’s the whole app. Now, I have the attention span of a toddler. I need my Bejewelled Blitz, Twitter and Angry Birds to keep me occupied. The likelihood that I will remember that this app is even on my phone with page after page of important apps like Facebook, Open Table and Talking Carl (for my daughter) is highly unlikely, but to open it daily to see if there is an announcement and all there is an empty frame? Yawn….

Here are my suggests for how to enhance the app if the Romney camp ever wants me to return to it:

1. Add a math game where people can add up all of the tax cuts that will come to the top 1% of the population.

2. Add Cafeville that can have the American people practicing to become business owners. Maybe it can be called “Bainville”. The goal will be to see how many jobs you can outsource overseas.

3. Add an Olympics virtual game where we can all run the Olympics like Mitt. There could be a little horse racing game where horses we own can participate in the Olympics like Mitt’s.

As it stands now I will not open this app again. The American people need entertainment, sound effects and scoring. Nice thought Romney camp for trying to show us how connected you are to technology, but bad execution. I guess the only redeeming factor is the app was free. As a Democrat, that’s about as much as I can afford to pay for it.


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