Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Come pledge Lambda Chi Congress this fall

Pledging a fraternity can be a difficult process.  First, there is rush where the fraternities do their best to recruit you.  After you pick which fraternity is right for you, the next step is becoming a pledge.  This can involve hundred-year old traditions where you learn the fraternity language, understand the rituals and take the oath of brotherhood.  

One fraternity that is recruiting heavily this fall is Lambda Chi Congress.  Their rush is a little more involved than your traditional fraternity.  You have to do campaign commercials that involve you standing on a farm somewhere discussing your patriotism and you relate to the American people because (insert cause).  After spending rich donor money to create these campaign commercials you are voted in by the American people.

Once voted in, you start to learn the rituals and traditions.  Just like most fraternities, the social scene is historic.  Unlike most fraternities, partying isn’t left only at the frat house.  Expect to be flown to our Holy Land for the party of your lifetime when you pledge Lambda Chi Congress.  You will be put up at the finest hotels.  

Like most fraternities, expect a bit of hazing in Lambda Chi Congress.  Since you believe you are God’s gift, you can expect to see if that is really the case.  We mean literally expect to see if that’s the case.  You will get an opportunity to swim in the Sea of Galilee where Jesus was known to have walked on water.  

Congressman Yoder, Republican from KS, had that opportunity.  As a pledge of Lambda Chi Congress, Congressman Yoder took the ritual literally and fully undressed down to what God gave him.  He took a little dip in the Sea of Galilee on his pledge trip.  

Unlike most fraternities who only have to deal with pesky campus police when things get crazy, expect in Lambda Chi Congress to have to deal with the FBI.  This dip in the Sea of Galilee by Congressman Yoder and others prompted a FBI investigation.  It was revealed in this investigation that Congressman Yoder did in fact reveal his birthday suit.  Silly FBI…boys will be boys!

Consider pledging Lambda Chi Congress this fall.  The parties are raging, the rituals are historic and you an prove if you really are God’s gift to the world.


One thought on “Pledge Lambda Chi Congress this fall!

  1. bobarmi says:

    I think Delta Tau Chi would be a better represent the activities going on in D.C.

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