The politicians are after me for campaign contributions. Email after email. Tweet after tweet. Just $3.00 is all they need and it will be victory in November. Obama has been after me for a while for my $3.00. The latest…Todd Akin also for $3.00. I feel like John Cusack or Lane from Better off Dead when the paperboy comes after him for $2.00.
Ah…inflation. If this movie was made in 2012, it would be $3.00 for the paper!
Todd Akin, you need a bit more than my $3.00 to win in November.
The Republicans all talk about signs from God. God told Rick Perry to run for President. Michele Bauchmann said Isaac is a spiritual sign from God.
“We’re quite literally looking at a hurricane here in Florida,” she told a Tampa rally ahead of the Republican National Convention. “We’re looking at a political hurricane in this country. We are looking at a spiritual hurricane in our land. And it is time for each one of us to show up and suit up and stand up and realize that in this time and in this day we pour it out for Him,” CNN
I also believe in God and I believe we, the American people, have been given a gift from God. Todd Akin, you sir our the Democrats gift from God. It wasn’t enough for you to go on record trying to justify some types of rapes as “legitimate” that caused our nation to erupt into a firestorm the likes of which almost caused the Republicans to crumble into the fetal position.
The latest is this from Todd Akin in an interview with the Daily Currant, “female breastmilk – when fed directly to an adult homosexual male daily for at least four weeks – has a 94% chance of permanently curing homosexual perversions.”
This is why I believe you are a gift from God. You are staying in the race against Clare McCaskill. You are embarrassing the Republican party in a critical time in the election cycle. This is my sign from God. The Republicans moved so far to the right on their platform. They continue to alienate the moderates. There is terrible infighting in the Republican party. Now, we have been given Todd Akin. Isaac isn’t the only one overshadowing the Republican convention.
My message to God:
Thank you for your gift of Todd Akin. We, Democrats, will use it wisely. We will remind the American people that we are the party of inclusion. The Democrats will remind people that you are welcome to worship as you choose. All faiths are welcome in the Democratic party. Heterosexuality and homosexuality are both welcome by the Democrats. Judgement is reserved only for you God. Breast milk is a wonderful thing, but should only be used to nourish babies. For that we thank you God. We, the Democrats, also appreciate your gift of knowledge and science. Please God, keep Todd Akin in the race. I promise to send him my $3.00 today God. I only do so to support comedy. Thank you for the gift of laughter and Todd Akin! Oh and a quick thank you for Michele Bachmann as well.
What do you think readers? Do you think Todd Akin is a gift from God?