Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Last night was Paul Ryan’s night.

Paul, Sky Blue Tie, Ryan.

Have I ever mentioned that sky blue is my favorite color?  I fully believe that the Republicans knew that and purposefully had him wear a sky blue tie to seduce me to vote Republican.  It almost worked!  Granted I had to snap out of my trance and Google the speech after the fact to fill myself in on what I missed.  I admit, I’m that easy sometimes…with voting!

So glad I did and now I’m back to voting Democrat.  Whew…that was close!

Reviewing Ryan’s speech after I came out of my sky blue tie trance, I came across this quote from Ryan, “My dad used to say to me: ‘Son, you have a choice. You can be part of the problem, or you can be part of the solution.”

I recall the night before Chris Christie spoke about what his mother taught him. “The greatest lesson Mom ever taught me, though, was this one: she told me there would be times in your life when you have to choose between being loved and being respected. She said to always pick being respected, that love without respect was always fleeting — but that respect could grow into real, lasting love.”

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This had me thinking.  If I was giving my speech at a political convention, what nugget of advice from my parent or grandparent would be the backbone of my speech about character and greatness?

So I started to think….

“Stand-up straight!” My mom said this almost daily.  This wasn’t about standing up for values, this was really because I slouched my shoulders all the time.  She did that thing where she ran her fingers down my back.  I could probably leave that part out and use it in a speech about standing up straight for values.  It could be our secret about her true meaning.

“Boys will say anything to get in your pants.  Don’t believe them.” My Dad said this when I was a teenager.   This one would be harder work into a political convention speech.  Maybe I could say something like, the government is trying to get into your pants and we are going to stop them.  Oh heck, I guess I could lean on the speech writers to come up with some gem.

“Don’t ever wear a watch. It’s a good excuse to ask boys what time it is.” My grandmother when I was about 13.  We could spin this one to say government can’t be bothered to watch every second when it comes to taking the time to work on our problems.  It’s a stretch, but hey not everyone has the brilliant soundbites that Ryan and Christie seem to have.

“Don’t EVER say the word seven at a craps table.”  This one has served me well over the years.  I don’t think it will ever work for a political speech, but if you are reading this, trust me, my dad is the best craps player I know.  Just jot that one down for future use.

No wait! This one will work: “You know we have a lot of funny notions born inside of us, Half-Pint. The funniest is that we’re supposed to hide the way we feel about people. Let me tell you, everybody wants to know that they are loved, or needed, or cared about. Anybody who doesn’t want to know that has something wrong with them.”  Charles Ingalls

Ok, ok so it’s from Pa Ingalls from Little House on the Prairie.  If I take the Half-Pint out, no one would really know.

Now that I’m raising a child and her path may lead her up on the stage accepting her nomination for President, I better step my game up.  I need to come up with some amazing quotes so that when she is thinking about her acceptance speech she can quote me.  It better be something better then what I told her yesterday: “yes I’ll get you more ketchup for your chicken nuggets.” That’s probably not going to inspire a nation.

Oy, the pressure!




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