Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

I don’t know about you,  but there is one thing that I am still debating from last week’s RNC-

Who has more personality the empty chair or Mitt Romney?  

Verdict is still out, but it’s definitely close.  The way Clint Eastwood was chatting it up with the chair, I’m longing for more chair conversations.  Quick, someone get Andy Cohen from Bravo on the phone.  Maybe he can work his magic and a Real Chairs from Washington DC can become an instant sensation on Bravo.  Different chairs can represent different politicians:

  • The Office Chair:  Barack Obama
  • The Leather Wingback Chair: Mitt  Romney
  • Ikea Chair:  Paul Allen
  • Bar Stool:  Joe Biden

Anyway, thanks for indulging my silly fantasy that at any minute, Andy Cohen is going to call me up and say, “Great idea Aimee.  Fly out to NYC and let’s work on your Bravo chair idea.  Let’s be BFFs.”

OK, wake up!  I’m back on topic.  The Democrats have been given a gift with Clint Eastwood ending the RNC.  The DNC starts this week and as much as the Democrats would like to believe otherwise, it is super easy to screw this up.  Here are my top 5 tips on how NOT to screw this up:

5.  Have a catchy soundtrack.  Something all us Gen X and Gen Yers can download from iTunes.    Paul Ryan has the younger generation paying attention.  Woo them back with cool music.  I would offer up some suggestions here, but my iTunes collection resembles that of an 80 year old Jewish woman.  If you need Neil Diamond or Babs, I’m your gal, but cool, not so much.

4.  No sex scandals!  If you are going to remind us the whole convention that the Republicans are waging a war on woman, don’t have any sex scandals.  Everybody keep your private parts in your pants please. (Yes, you can use this as the safe sex message for the convention.)

3.  Show us your style.  I think we are all on Brooks Brothers navy blue suits and stripped-shirts overload.  Show us your style Democrats!  Take some fashion risks.  Men, this means you!  If we are the gay-friendly party, let’s make them proud.

2.  Speak to me.  Tell me more about why the Democrats are the party for me.  I’m a divorced,  mother of a six-year old.  I work hard to make my bills.  I’m sick of the Republicans telling me that if I work hard, I can have the “American dream.”  I am working my ass off.  The “American dream” is such a tired, old thought that happens for so few.  Paint a picture for me of a realistic American dream.  One where if I work hard, I can make my bills, have the security of knowing that I can have access to affordable health care and that my daughter will have an excellent public school education. Let me know that she can go to college without being burdened by enormous debt.  Remind us that, as a woman raising a young girl, access to affordable birth control is something the Democrats will always fight for.

Remind me that the Democrats are a party where it doesn’t matter what God you pray to or who you love.  Tell me during the convention that the Democrats want responsible government spending, but also understand that there are those in our society who need our assistance and we will not let those in our society go unnoticed.  We will be there for them, as we would want our society to be there for us in our time of need.  It is not a handout, it is an obligation we have to those less fortunate in our society.  Then end this speech with that rocking soundtrack!

1. Finally, this is the most important tip – Just like the empty chair speech – as much as you want to use a mop to “talk to” Mitt Romney you won’t!

Andy…I’ll be waiting on the chair idea.  Call me!




2 thoughts on “My top 5 tips on not screwing up the DNC2012

  1. Monica Houston says:

    When Andy calls you, you should bring me along too. Then the 3 of us can be BFFs!!!

    1. That would be totally awesome!

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