Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Since Kansas can’t seem to go a day without embarassing ourselves, today was like no other.  Today the Kansas Board of Objections met to hear a claim filed by Joe Montgomery, a resident of Manhattan (that would be the little apple) claiming that President Obama should not be on the November ballot for President, because his father was born in Kenya and his birth certificate is still “in question”.

Montgomery’s argument is that both parents need to be United States citizens in order for a President to be legally on the ballot.

“I am here to uphold the rule of law and the Constitution of the United States. I think somebody needs to do it,” Montgomery said.

Read more here:

Yes, you brave soul Mr. Montgomery!  Someone needs to call out these false men who have served as President of the United States without both parents as born of this country.  You sir, are a soldier of truth when it comes to our United States Constitution.  I suppose I am telling you nothing new when I inform you that Andrew Jackson was born of parents who were both Irish immigrants to the United States.

I also guess that makes Thomas Jefferson’s presidency a lie since his mother was born in England!  The outrage Mr. Montgomery. How dare Mr. Jefferson rule this great land and with an English mother.  It can only be that the American people hundreds of years ago weren’t as smart as Mr. Montgomery is now to call this out!

I expect a full follow-up from you Mr. Montgomery outlining how these other presidents in our history also wronged our Constitution and left a mark that will forever scar our history as an embarrassment.  You can just email that to me directly.

Quick little google search and I found other Presidents who had parents born in other countries:  Chester Arthur, James Buchanan, Woodrow Wilson and Herbert Hoover.  The outrage!  I can barely contain myself.  We will just overlook that all of these previous Presidents have white parents.  Oopsie, this is obviously about the Constitution, not about racism in any way.  Forgive me…

It seems the Kansas Board of Objections is the most agreeable Board of Objections I’ve ever encountered.  How else would they agree to take on such an absurd objection?  So agreeable this Objections Board of Kansas.

Here are some objections I would like to raise with the Kansas Board of Objections.  If Mr. Montgomery can do it with his outrageous claim (I mean well founded claim – excuse me Mr. Montgomery) about Obama, I should have the same right as a citizen of Kansas to bring my objections to this overly agreeable Board of Objections.

  • I object that our State Amphibian is the Barred Tiger Salamander.  I propose a gecko because he reminds me of the Geico Gecko and that silly guy makes me laugh.
  • I object that our state motto is the Sunflower State.  I’m just really over it already.  Can’t it be “The Land of Oz’?
  • I object that we don’t have a Secretary of Interior Decoration.  Have you seen the inside of the Capitol?  It’s really time for an update!

I realize that the Kansas Board of Objection is still deciding on their ruling about Obama being on the ballot in November.

Other things the Kansas Board of Objections are also still considering while we wait for their verdict on Obama:

  1. If cigarettes are bad for you.  Verdict is still out on this one.
  2. If women should be allowed to drive cars.  Some say women are bad drivers.
  3. Pretzel M&Ms..I mean what the hell is that all about?
  4. Can you get AIDS from shaking hands?
  5. Seatbelts…worth it or too much intrusion on personal liberty?

I guess we can only wait to find out if the true defender of our Constitution, Mr. Montgomery will come out victorious and if Obama will be left off the Kansas ballot.  State Board of Objections, you will be hearing from me now that I find you are so agreeable to everyone’s objections.


2 thoughts on “Take note other states, KS has the most agreeable Board of Objections in the land

  1. Joel Waldman says:

    I know Romney is not a President, but wasn’t his father born in Mexico?

    1. I think this is just Brownback’s grand plan that if Obama is off the ballot and Romney doesn’t win then Brownback declares himself King!

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