Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Looks like the political world has a new Gwenyth and Madonna or Ben and Matt.  The newest couple on the bromance political circuit is none other than Newt Gingrich and Todd Akin.  Akin, we all remember has the struggling senate campaign against Claire McCaskill in Missouri.  Akin quickly lost his running to be voted most likely to succeed when he tried to explain a female’s reproductive system and how it responds to rape.  Gingrich is supporting Akin at fundraisers in MO and trying to dig Akin’s campaign out of the funeral plot it finds itself in.

Since this friendship came out of nowhere, one must assume Akin consulted the Girl’s Life article “How to make new friends by lunch–really.”   http://www.girlslife.com/post/2012/07/19/How-to-make-friends-by-lunchreally.aspx

 

Let’s see what the article says and how Akin and Gingrich measure up-

Tried and True

Don’t be afraid to just introduce yourself to the girl sitting one desk over. Sure, it’s awkward to say, “Hi, my name is __________,” and then let it hang there. So don’t. Introduce yourself, and after she responds with her name, follow up with a question about how long she’s gone to the school or where her locker is this year. And in the awkward event that she just stares at you and doesn’t respond with her name, be prepared just to jump straight into your question. If you ask her something directly, hopefully she won’t be so rude that she won’t respond at all.

Akin:  “Hi my name is Todd.  I’ve managed to alienate 50% of our population with my comments about abortion and rape.  Newt, you’ve been in politics for a long time and we all know you took a cruise during a crucial time in your run for presidency that caused most of your staff to quit.  Can you tell me  how you felt when so many people quit on you like the Republican leadership has quit on me?”

Just like the article says, putting it all out there at first and then following up with a nice question pointing out similarities can create an instant bond.

That Awkward Moment When…

Pay attention to anything out-of-the-ordinary or funny that happens in your first few classes, and comment on it when you run into one of your classmates in the hall later. The best is if you can make a joke out of it, and use that to get the chitchat flowin’. Something like, “So does it usually sound like they’re shouting the morning announcements in your ear, or was the loudspeaker just turned up in honor of the first day?” Be careful with your jokin’, though, and don’t mention any people – you never know who could be creepin’ up behind you and get offended.

Akin to Gingrich, “Isn’t that hilarious how I manage to say something that caused the Republican leadership to go running for the hills?  Those silly Republicans think they can scare me out of the race by pulling all my endorsements and money.  Still I’m somehow managing to get press by staying in the race and really pushing the Republicans buttons.  By not getting out the race, I could easily hand this victory to my opponent, Clare McCaskill.  Hilarious!”  They both fall to the floor in hysterics.

Dish Out the Compliments           

If you heart the pants that your locker neighbor is wearing, tell her. She probably put tons of thought into her BTS outfit just like you did, and she’ll appreciate someone noticing it. You can then ask her where she got them, or move on to a new topic once you’ve gotten her attention. Just be careful not to gush too much – you don’t wanna come off as a spaz. A simple compliment and a smile will go a long way.

Akin to Newt, “I think this wife is by far the best wife.  I know your previous lifestyle of marital infidelities goes against my strong, fundamentalist Christian values, but as long as we keep the gays from marrying, we will let Jesus decide.”

And there you have it.  The Gingrich and Akin friendship is one based in similar experience that will stand the test of time.  I’m sure this friendship will extend far beyond just this political race.

A few key questions, a lot of compliments and similar circumstances of alienation that can keep them laughing for a lifetime of friendship.

 

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