I’m putting aside my politics rants for today and focusing on another topic – aging.
My birthday is fast approaching and I will be 41. 41…exactly 20 years older from that amazing birthday of 21 At 21 I treated myself to jell-o shots, at 41 I am treating myself to Botox shots. Yep, the bangs are no longer hiding the cross between my eyes that I so affectionately call my WTF line. I blame my walk down plastic surgery lane on the Republicans. Republicans, you blame us Democrats for out of control spending, I blame you for having to inject my face with unnatural substances. I consider it a wash.
What else has changed from 21 to 41? I suddenly realized that I can no longer wear leggings and a long sweater. When I was younger and thinner it was cute. Now it just looks like I’m leaving my house and forgetting to finish getting dressed. I had the black leggings on this morning with a cute pink sweater that was long enough to cover my butt. At my age, it really is all about butt coverage. I was ready to go and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It looked like I forgot my skirt – even with the long sweater. Damn it. Long gone are those comfortable days of leggings only. Now I actually have to finish getting dressed.
Technology is moving faster than I am. I think of myself as tech-savvy, but things as simple as the McDonald’s drive-thru have me in a tizzy these days. I pulled up this morning for my simple egg McMuffin sans Canadian bacon – see previous posts. It was the dual drive-thru – where there are two speakers, one right in front of the other one. Anyhoo, me and mini-van approached at the same time. Both speakers blare with, “Would you like to try our new Peppermint Mocha?” at the exact same time. Mini-van lady says something and I try to say something. I can’t focus. I can’t focus on my order, because I am way too busy trying to figure out what mini-van lady was saying. Did she say pancakes, hash brown, sausage biscuit, and 2 egg McMuffins? Seriously lady? All before 8 am? What is that a clown car mini-van? How many people are in that thing? Is that all for you? Where was I? I can’t concentrate. Did I tell my lady no Canadian bacon? I get really grumpy if I get Canadian bacon. Once I got the bacon and no cheese. Then it was just the egg and English muffin. That left me on a bitch fest like no ones business. I kept hearing voices and I was trying to talk. I totally understood the schizophrenic experience. Is that what McDonalds is going for with the dual speakers? Solo speaker McDonalds! SOLO SPEAKER! I want to go back to simpler times.
In the end I ended up with my order correct, but it was close. My 21-year-old self would do another jello shot and be the life of the party. My 41-year-old self would….have another glass of wine and host the party.