Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

There has been so much going on this past week that I have resorted to the Top 5 list.  I’m wondering if I can keep it to 5 things to highlight this week, because every time I turn around, there is something else making headlines that is “blogworthy”.

The Top 5 Things that have me going WTF? (Ask Speaker Boehner if you need to know what the “F” stands for)

5 – Michele Bachmann introduces a new bill to repeal Obamacare.

Ring…ring..

“Michele.it’s for you.  It’s 2012 calling and they want their issue back.”

Been there, done that. In fact line 2 is calling and it’s abused women.

Ring…ring…

4- Violence Against Women Act

Excuse me..GOP, could I interrupt you for a moment?  I know you guys (I mean guys literally) are super busy right now with America recovering from your attempt to throw us off the fiscal cliff.  However, we can all agree that you had a little image problem when it came to the last election.  Your ability to look very male and very white was a problem and some would say cost you the election.  The hashtag #WaronWomen got a lot of mileage on Twitter.   Blame that on Todd Akin, blame that on other various member of your party who were educating us every other week on how our anatomy worked, but in the end women voted and a lot of you lost.  So why is it then that when the VAWA bill that was passed by the Senate came up for a vote on the House you didn’t (I mean forgot) to vote on it?

psst…little secret here-if you want to repair your image, might I suggest that you vote on a bill that is called the VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN ACT?  I know I’m not some fancy political consultant inside the beltway, but my guess is that would have been a good start to repair the damage done to you in the last campaign cycle.  Little hint – this is probably going to come back to bite you in the tush come next election cycle.

3 – The Hillary Clinton Conspiracy

Hillary falls, gets a concussion and then ends up hospitalized with a blood clot.  Conspiracy freaks ran wild with talk that this was all done so she didn’t have to testify in the Benghazi matter.  I know I planned my DVT that I suffered from about 5 years ago to get out of some obligations I had as well.  I think my obligation was some birthday party for a toddler  I didn’t want to go to. The blood thinners that I had to inject in my abdomen twice a day for about six weeks was a picnic so I could get out of things I had planned.  It was awesome having to go to the doctor almost weekly to have my blood levels checked.  To all those who said she did this on purpose – you nailed it!  I know I caused my DVT on purpose.  How did you guess?  Gosh you guys are geniuses!

2 – Roy Blunt

A personal thank you Roy Blunt.  It seems like almost weekly you provide me with some inspiration for my writing.  This week it was about Hurricane Sandy relief and why it’s o.k. not to provide any disaster relief to the victims –

His response on Hurricane Sandy relief:  “Sometimes when you ask for too much, you don’t get anything,” he said.

Read more here: http://midwestdemocracy.com/articles/blunt-defends-sandy-comment/#storylink=cpy
Now my daughter has a children’s book called “Pinkalicious”.  Pinkalicious loves everything pink and desperately wants to eat pink cupcakes.  When her mom refuses to give her more pink cupcakes her mom says, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset.”  I’ve heard of a lot of politicians basing their political careers off of Machiavelli’s “The Prince”, but it seems like you are basing yours more off of Pinkalicious.  One philosophy you are NOT basing your political career off of is Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends and Influence People”.  Talk about tough love.
1 – The GOP Congress
This one was easy.  Talk about putting the fun back in dysfunction.  Watching Congress work out our fiscal cliff problem was more exciting than a Real Housewives of Atlanta finale.  I haven’t seen this much infighting and backstabbing since last season of the Bachelor.  It was political theater either at its best since I couldn’t take my eyes off of it or at it’s worst for the exact same reason.  Thanks to Boehner, it became acceptable to drop the f-bomb on Twitter.  I think Boehner could become synonymous with the word “fuck” except it really makes it sound x-rated.  Did you just drop a Boehner?
All of this from the party who gave us the term “traditional family values” and “Christian Conservatives”.  This is the party who would vote against a bill and throw America off of a fiscal cliff instead of compromise even though their GOP peers in the Senate overwhelmingly voted for the same bill.  These are the same people who initially didn’t want to introduce Hurricane Sandy relief legislation some will speculate because they are still smarting over the fact that Chris Christie said nice things about Obama.  Yet, only back a few months they couldn’t wait to tell us one campaign commercial after another what great Christians they are and how this country should go back to good Christian values.  Turns out they caved and are voting on Hurricane Sandy relief, but only because they couldn’t drowned out the outrage from America over this choice.
I could go on….but I won’t.  I think the Real Housewives is on, or C-SPAN.  These days I get them mixed up.
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