Dear Gun Rights Advocates:
I know. I’m a pain in the ass.
Since I have subscribed to many of your newsletters, I’ve noticed that a lot of you have been celebrating a recent “victory” that happened out of Trimble, MO last week. Here’s a brief summary for those who didn’t follow the news.
Bank robber walks into the First Security Bank of Trimble and shows a gun demanding money.
Sounds like something taken from the Bank Robbery 101 play book.
Mr. Bank Robber gets shot in the bank.
Mr. Bank Robber gets in car.
Mr. Bank Robber takes police on a high-speed chase.
Mr. Bank Robber gets caught and is now in hospital and will go to jail.
Gun rights advocates go crazy with joy! See good guys with guns took out bad guy with a gun – a la Wayne LaPierre.
Everyone lives happily ever after.
Now so fast my gun totting friends. Let’s stop and think about some of these facts for a moment.
First, according to my friends at the Kansas City Star, it wasn’t exactly an armed “civilian”, it was a guard at the bank. I know, here we go again with those silly facts. Also, it begs the question if it was a civilian doing business at the bank, what’s the point of those silly signs posted everywhere with a gun and a slash across it?
Second, if the guard/civilian did shoot the bank robber in the face, the guard/civilian is a pretty crappy shot. Mr. Bank Robber gets out of the bank, into his car and leads police on a 25 MILE POLICE CHASE from Trimble, MO to Kansas City. Now I’ve never been shot in the face, so I’m just guessing, but I can imagine that if I was accurately shot in the face, operating a motor vehicle correctly for 25 miles would be pretty gosh darn hard.
Again, I’m no gun expert as I’ve said in previous blogs, but if I got shot accurately in the face, I would assume I would be dead. That’s right – probably pretty darn dead. Now I’m also no driving expert, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say I would need a face to drive a car. I need two eyes, my brain, maybe even my mouth to scream, “holy shit that hurt.” So where exactly was he “shot in the face”?
I know…I can be a total pain in the ass with all of these questions. I was one of those kids who constantly asked why.
So before you keep celebrating your gun rights victory, take a second and think about some of these things. I don’t consider a guard at a bank a “civilian”. I think the Department of Motor Vehicles may want to require on our driving requirements that everyone driving have a face. That is if we are going to be able to drive say more than 5 miles.
Anyway, sorry for interrupting your gun love fest.
Yours in annoying questions,