Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Dear Kansas,

I hate to write this, but I think it’s time.  We are going to have to break-up for a while.  See I can’t take this anymore.  I’m losing sleep. I’m not eating right and overall this isn’t healthy for either of us.  It’s not you it’s me. No really is you and here’s why.

1.  Your don’t touch my guns bill, a.k.a. 2nd amendment protection act, that will end up in court is driving me crazy- see many previous posts.

2.  Your radical abortion bill with NO exceptions for rape and incest – enough said.

3.  Your don’t touch my lady parts TSA bill that will also end up in court.  BTW per FAA statistics – out of 412 commercial airports in the USA – Kansas airports rank Hays 392, 387 Garden City, 102 Wichita, 259 Manhattan.  On the biggest impact scale – you get two thumbs down on this one, however we did rank higher than Hoonah, Alaska. (insert lame clap)

4.  This one from the “seriously” file – a stem-cell center has been proposed at KU Med Center.

They didn’t ask for it.  You aren’t going to fund it.  However, you are going to make them create one.  This is based on of the bill authors who believe their family members were helped because of stem cells.  If their family members were helped that’s great.  I’m not making light of that.  What I am making light of is this comparison –

Once my Grandma heard that if you soak grapes in gin and eat 20 of them a day it would make your aches and pains go away.  She did that and it was like a miracle – she felt great!  She called me one day to tell me how great it worked.

“Aimee, you are not going to believe this.  I eat 20 grapes a day and I can’t believe the difference. Nothing aches anymore.” said Grandma Beverly.

“That’s amazing grandma.  I think you may be just drunk, but if you feel better it may be working.” I said.

Who am I to go against science of the gin soaked grape?

Because if this, I am proposing the new KU Medical Center Holistic Center for Fruit and Alcohol Healing.  KU – sorry no funding, however there is a local grocery store near by and they have nice grapes.

5.  I am starting to sound like a fiscal conservative and it scares the shit out of me.  When I start wondering – Why aren’t they trying to attract new business to Kansas?  There is something seriously wrong here people!

I will admit following your twitter feed #ksleg is as interesting as watching the  movie Mean Girls.  There was a fight that went on yesterday that I can summarize like this – I know you are but what am I?  Now that daytime soap operas are becoming a thing of the past, I would highly suggest you check this out for your daytime fix.

Kansas – we may get back together sometime soon.  I just need to take a break and work on myself for a while.  I’m not going to go so far as to say that I won’t continue to twitter stalk you.  Who am I kidding?  I can’t just give up good drama like that, but this blog writer needs a break.

Take good care of yourselves in the meantime.

Yours in dysfunctional politics,



One thought on “#ksleg – we are breaking-up. It’s not you, it’s me. (no – it’s you)

  1. bobarmi says:

    You leftists are such hypocrites. You don’t like guns because they can kill someone, but you are perfectly ok with mothers letting people kill their innocent babies.

    I really don’t care if you want to walk on the wild side with the TSA, but nobody I know does. BTW please link the source if you are going quote statistic because that paragraph makes no friggen sense.

    As for the Stem Cell Research center, SURPRISE, I will agree you. The legislature is so giddy about getting high tech bio-research in to Kansas they took a page from the Democrat’s play book and are trying to legislate it into existence.

    A vacation will do you good, and don’t worry Reality will be right here waiting for you.

    Your friend, Bob a.k.a. Clinger Von Guns&Bible

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