I am afraid.
I know that people don’t want to admit this and maybe I am all alone when I write this, but I am putting it out there.
I am afraid.
When I witnessed 9/11 from my balcony in Arlington I was terrified. I experienced fear so great that my body trembled and I felt like I couldn’t breath.
On Monday, even though I was thousands of miles from the scene, my throat closed up again.
Then there was the Ricin letters…so similar to the event of 9/11. Finally this week there was the explosion in Texas.
The gun legislation that didn’t pass the Senate – I’ll admit it – I cried. Why did I cry over legislation? I cried, because this week I needed to feel safe. Safe from guns, safe from bombs, safe from poison.
I probably seem so un-American right now. Americans aren’t supposed to admit to fear.
What is American is to be brave and courageous. We have heard story after story this week of bravery and courage. It’s this that make us proud to be Americans.
I think what I’ve come to realize is that bravery and courage can co-exist with fear.
It will take courage for the people of Boston who were at or near the race to walk by that area again, but I know they will do it. It has taken unbelievable courage for the people of Sandy Hook to take their children to school again and it will take courage for the people of that Texas town to heal and rebuild.
All of these things require bravery and courage.
It doesn’t mean that people aren’t afraid.
I am putting it out there, because right now I feel like I am the only one that feels this way.
Maybe it makes me weak.
Maybe that makes me un-American.
I’ll let you decide.