You probably don’t remember me. We met for a nanosecond at the Million Mom March back in the 90s. You were already a superstar. I was and still am…a nobody.
Seems we both have one thing in common. Nope we aren’t both blonde, although I was once blonde back in the early 90s (not a good look for me). We aren’t both sweet southern girls. We are both, “American Citizens” as I heard you exclaim on your dashcam police video. Yes, along with most of America, I’ve seen the TMZ video.
This all stems from a recent incident where your husband was pulled over in his Ferrar…I mean Ford Fusion. WAIT A MINUTE! A Ford Fusion? Honey, nothing against Ford Fusions, but you are a movie star…a multi-millionaire movie star. If you are going to pull the “do you know who I am?” card, it is a hell of a lot more impressive if you do it in something other than a Ford Fusion.
Anyhoo..where your husband was pulled over for driving in the wrong lane drunk.
In an effort to save your love, you jump out of the car against police orders and do a dramatic scene straight from one of your movies – EXCEPT your movies are more “feel good type” movies so this isn’t exactly right out of one of YOUR movies. This scene is more of the gritty crime drama movies like one of Angelina Jolie’s movies or maybe Jodie Foster’s movies – an action/adventure type movie. Mark Whalberg plays the handsome cop and Ethan Hawk plays your drunk husband – NOT that I’ve thought about this or anything. I play your cool best friend who comes and bails you out of jail. Moving on….
So you jump out of the car and pull the “do you know who I am?” card.
First – all people, like me, who are nobodies DREAM of a day when we can do that. We dream of a day when we can use that line to get into cool clubs, be seated first in restaurants, board planes first, get better service at snooty department stores, etc. etc.
Second, we love, love, love LOVE it when people like you are taught a lesson that sometimes in life nobody gives a damn who you are. We all have to follow the same rules.
Can’t wait to continue to watch your PR team attempt to clean up this mess.
Your new BFF,