Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Mike Jeffries, CEO of Ambercrombie or as I like to call him CED (Chief Executive Douchebag), has decided to work against this nation’s anti-bullying campaign and only cater to the “beautiful people” at his nation’s t-shirts and jeans retailer.

Ambercrombie doesn’t sell sizes over a 10 for females and only sells sizes of XL and XXL to males to cater to high school athletes.  He is specifically targeting the “cool kids”.

Since most Americans haven’t been in an Ambercrombie and Fitch store recently, as evident by their tanking sales figures, I’ll catch you up to speed on some of the stores interesting highlights:

  • They call their sales people “models”.
  • They have been in hot water before for offensive t-shirts that make fun of Asians.
  • They sold string bikinis to young girls.
  • They have been called out for their lack of diversity.

So I checked out their website to see what’s new with the retailer and the “cool kids”.  In fact, I spent A LOT of time checking out, I mean researching, the pictures of the males to be sure I knew what I was talking about for this blog post.Image

Anyway, a few interesting things:

  • The “Diversity” link on their website was broken.  This is no joke.
  • I love this picture of their campus.  They describe it as, “beautiful as it is functional.” Ah yes..I guess they were going for a third world country primary school look.

Now Ambercrombie has right to be as exclusive as they want.  Here’s what Mark is missing – part of being cool is not having to announce it to the world.  People want to be like you, because you have self-confidence, not because you are constantly announcing how cool you are.  That is exactly what makes you uncool.

A fabulous gay friend of mine once described the Ambercrombie and Fitch catalog as the gay man’s masturbation bible.  Masturbation is a solo act.  Soon Ambercrombie and Mark will also be a party for one. I predict Ambercrombie will soon go out of business.

For all of your “marketing genius” Mike, your days are numbered. Just like high school, those who try too hard can suddenly become uncool.

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