Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Good old Kansas City in the summertime. Not only are the politics hellish, but now we have weather resembling the condo in hell where Satan resides.  100 degrees today with a heat index of 108 degrees.  It can only be a matter of time before my favorite local ImageTV news segments air…

Baking on the dashboard of your car OR frying an egg on the sidewalk!

You can always tell the reporter who drew the short straw for this segment.  If we all didn’t already know that it was hot outside from the weather smacking us in the face when we open the door, local news seems to feel like we need another visual to get the message across that IT’S FREAKING HOT.

Cue local reporter standing outside with an egg.  

Never mind that the reporter’s make-up is melting off like the Nazi faces in the Raiders of the Lost Ark, or that we can all see the steam off the asphalt on the camera close-up, we all need to see that it is indeed hot enough to cook things that we will never eat.

(Cue outrage from the National Association of Stop Wasting Food.)

I feel for the reporter that has to do an update from the car every half an hour on how the brownies are cooking on the dashboard. “They are in deed cooking,” said reporter A.

Why do we need visuals like this instead of the meteorologists just telling us the temperature?  Because there is ALWAYS some dipshit parent who leaves their kids in the car. Really mom?  You couldn’t take little Johnnie out of the car and throw him in a cart to shop at Walmart?

http://www.kshb.com/dpp/news/region_kansas/johnson_county/kcmo-woman-charged-with-child-endangerment-after-leaving-kids-in-car-at-walmart

Here’s the deal folks – it’s CRA-AZY hot outside.  Leave your kid or pet in a car for even a micro-second and you are risking that your dog will literally turn into a hot dog (grab a bun).  

I don’t blame the reporters for these looney visuals, I blame the parents who had their brains removed as soon as they brought little North home.  

(That’s not a Kim K dig – just picked the name randomly, honest.)

Until I don’t see anymore stories about some kid or pet suffering from being stuck in a car that is hot enough to bake brownies, the reporters will have to keep doing these stories.  Please make them stop by wising up.

Now excuse me while I go buy some brownie mix.  I’m craving brownies and if I put them on my dashboard now, I’ll be able to eat them by midnight.

Somebody send a camera crew!

 

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