Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Oh Anthony Weiner, (head shake)…
I blame you. Here our country was all wrapped up in all things good and pure with the debut of the Royal Baby and it was abruptly interrupted with more pictures of your junk.

Should I refer to you as Carlos Danger for this post? Later that day, there was your wife standing by your side and telling us this was a private matter between the two of you.

I call BS. It isn’t just an issue between husband and wife. It involves all of us.

How does it involve me- a nobody blogger from the Midwest?

Because you are running to be Mayor of New York City. New York City is one of (if not THE) most powerful cities in the United States.

Lets break down why its more than just an issue between man and wife.
1. It’s not like you are calling and meeting your mistress in some hotel for a quick romp and then both going on your way the way hundreds of male politicians have done all the way back to Washington. Washington would jump in his boat and paddle across the Potomac for his little colonial romp. That would involve only 3 people – you, your wife and your mistress. You are sending pics of your junk and explicit texts to cell phones where there are records of it. I have the ability, like most Americans, to log onto The Dirty and check out your Johnson and the twins. It makes it a situation between you, your wife, your mistress and millions of Americans. As gross as it is, like when I see pictures of Snooki, I can’t look away. Curiosity killed the cat…

2. If it is an addiction, I feel sorry for you. It also makes me think that, as an addiction, a person can often trade one addiction for another. If New Yorkers decide to trust their city to you, what is the chance that if you get this sex addiction under control, you won’t trade it for another addiction that plagues so many? Gambling, drugs, alcohol are other addictions like sex addition that people struggle with every day. If you have an addiction you are sick and sick people shouldn’t be in charge of a powerful city.

3. Powerful people can also be bribed. Let’s face it, you aren’t exactly picking the top of the food chain here with these babes. I doubt you even really know them. Desperate people do desperate things. What will it take for you to be bribed by the next bimbo? Now I’m not naive to think that bribery and American politics have a long history, but shouldn’t it at least start out with everyone believing that our politicians are good people?

I think what you have done well is opened the door for more women in politics. Try Googling women politicians and sex scandals. You will find crickets chirping. If you believe, as I do, that women are equally capable to lead this nation, our cities and our towns then the American people need to start looking at more women candidates. If we are tired of reading about our male politicians and their sexual escapades, let’s give more women a chance and see what happens.

If all it takes is you showing your junk to get on Politico, send it my way. I’m a struggling political blogger who could use all the help I can get to get discovered. We’ve all already seen your junk anyway. I thought it actually took a brain and hard work to get in at Politico. Silly me.

I won’t deny the other great thing you’ve done with the whole scandal…confirmed that I’m not featured on The Dirty. I didn’t even know this scanky website existed. I think many Americans, like myself, collectively exhaled after checking out that nasty website and not finding pictures of themselves.

Please get some help. Get out of American politics and don’t show me or anyone else your penis again.

Good luck in your continued recovery.
Yours in not seeing your penis ever again,


10 thoughts on “Why the new Weiner scandal matters to the Midwest

  1. Allen says:

    Aimee, did you hear he is thinking of running for President with the Attorney General as running mate. Would you vote for the Weiner-Holder ticket?

    1. Oy vey is all I can say to the idea of him running for President! Thanks for reading! Aimee

  2. Bridget M. Jeffery says:

    Thank you for this post. Yesterday while I watched A.W. disclose that he had continued his activities after he left the House, I thought, “he has an addiction.” However, I wasn’t as articulate as you and didn’t ponder it further (beyond the idea that he shouldn’t run for mayor!). Thanks, Aimee – Bridget Jeffery, Assistant Prof., Political Science, Edinboro University of PA [M.A. + Ph.D. in Political Science from KU]

    1. Hi Bridget-thanks for reading and the nice comment. We will have to wait and see what he does next! Take care, Aimee

  3. Darla says:

    Hilarious amd so well written! I look at Anthony Wiener as the dog who won’t stop humping your leg. Even though he knows it’s wrong, has been told NO over and over and gets really emarrassed when you scold him, he just can’t stop himself. Addiction? Maybe. Disgusting? Absolutely. Frankly, we already have enough dicks in office.

    1. Excellent visual – the dog who won’t stop humping your leg. I wouldn’t put even that past him. Can’t wait until the girl can’t stand being anonymous and comes out. I’m sure she will be a real winner.

  4. Carl H. says:

    Just because his wife is a protege for Hillary Clinton doesn’t mean this yokel gets to play ‘show and don’t tell’ like Hillary’s hubby did. New York can do better.

    1. Thanks for commenting Carl. I don’t know why she doesn’t dump him and then SHE run for mayor?

  5. bobarmi says:

    OH MY GOD, it has happened, the planets have aligned and for the first time EVER Aimee and I are in complete agreement. I have circled todays date in red Sharpie. Carlos Dangerous…what a maroon.

    1. I KNEW we would find something. #buildingbridges

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