Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Warning!  I have found something so anti-American is will cause outrage in homes across the country.  Is it a new message from the Taliban?  No.  Is it another threat from North Korea?  Wrong again.

This is the WORST of anti-American messages, because it is directed at our innocent children.  Parents- stop hugging it out with your kids for a moment and pay attention.  This could infiltrate the very fabric of our nation.  This anti-American message is coming from a monster.

Who is this monster?

I’ll give you a hint.  He is blue, fuzzy and has googily eyes.

It’s Cookie Monster!  (insert screaming)

Cookie Monster, the innocent, blue monster who has been streamed into American households for generations via Sesame Street.  His gig was simple – find some cookies, use horrible grammar to explain how bad he wanted the cookies, “Me want cookies” and then not be able to help himself and gobble up the cookies.

His message has recently changed.  He has just put out a video about self-control.

Self what?

Self-control and WAITING before he goes and gobbles up cookies. See the video below for the evidence I uncovered.

It is un-American to be able to control our impulses.

Our lack of self-control has:

  • caused the average American to be $14,000 in credit card debit;
  • allowed us to develop delicious gut bombs like the bloomin’ onion;
  • caused people to die in mass riots on black Fridays.

Join me in an effort to stop Cookie Monster from continuing to spread this very anti-American message.  The message shouldn’t be wait before you eat cookies – it should be cookies NOW (especially the Thin Mint variety).

Our American way depends on this monster stopping this unrealistic message.  What’s next?  Cookie Monster will stop eating cookies and instead eat carrots?  I think not!

Instead of “Me Wait” it should be “More NOW”.  Our American way depends on it.


One thought on “This is the most anti-American thing you will see all day.

  1. JimL says:

    Where’s the HUAC when we need them?!? Maybe even Joe McCarthy to protect us from this foul Communist plot!! Full circle folks. Waiting? Waiting is for chumps. It’s my god-given, red-blooded, high cholesterol American right to eat chocolate chip cookies whenever possible.

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