Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Dear Mr. Ridenour:

I understand you wrote an interesting letter today to my neighbors in Fairway.  The letter was in regards to the new Walmart that is opening up down the street.  Thanks for letting us all know where you live – 6128 Catalina.

Thank you for working so hard for the “betterment of our ward”.  What exhausting work it must be with the Walmart opening right down the street.  You best get busy planting flowers and making sure all of the “houses” are the appropriate color.  I am very concerned about something you point out in the letter –

“Walmart is closing it’s [sic] Roeland Park store when the new one is complete at Roe Ave. & Johnson Dr. When that happens all of their customers of the old store will shop at the new one. Our neighborhood will get noticed and some will want to move into it. BE HONEST with yourself. Most of them are of a different class in that they do not feel the desire of a beautiful neighborhood and maintaining property values. When they move in we will start to see junk cars in disrepair in front yards along with other trash, and down will go property values. BIG TIME!!!”

Read the entire article at

I’m not sure exactly who you are referring to in this letter.  I’m going to just spin the minority wheel and decide for myself..  Spinning…spinning…

It has landed right between Hispanics and poor people.  Yes, i totally agree with you that we need to keep “those” people out of Fairway!  I agree that we….

Hold on a second!  Now that I think of it…I’m poor (trust me on this – not a pot to piss in right now) and I have a Hispanic daughter and guess what?  We live in FAIRWAY!


How is it possible that we managed to find a home in the Golden Triangle?  There are small pockets of  slums if you look hard enough.  Being poor, I’m constantly resisting the urge to trash my neighborhood.  I have to walk around saying, “my trash belongs in a trash can” or I will just spontaneously throw my garbage out in the street.  My car is in perfect working order, but I honestly can’t wait until it breaks down so I can park it in my front yard.

Now that I realize you are talking about people like me, what I am really wondering is if you have cootie spray?  It might come in handy in case my daughter and I walk by your house on our evening stroll.  Come to think of it, you are going to need A LOT of cootie spray when “those people” start moving in!

Hey I’m here.  At this rate anything is possible.

Good luck with your inappropriate suburban rage.

Yours in cooties,




One thought on “Attention: Outrage in Fairway! People like me are moving in!

  1. Jim Loehr says:

    Aimee, you renew my faith in human nature and the innate goodness of people. Perhaps Mr. Ridenour would feel more comfortable living in the neighborhood of Newcastle, Ontario where euthanizing those annoying autistic people is preferable to the racket they make.

    Maybe these words are worth a moment of thought (very slightly modified)… “Where will he go next, this phantom from another time, this resurrected ghost of a previous nightmare – Chicago; Los Angeles; Miami, Kansas City, Fairway? Anyplace, everyplace, where there’s hate, where there’s prejudice, where there’s bigotry – he’s alive. He’s alive so long as these evils exist. Remember that when he comes to your town. Remember it when you hear his voice speaking out through others. Remember it when you hear a name called, a minority attacked, any blind, unreasoning assault on a people or any human being. He’s alive because through these things we keep him alive.” — Rod Serling

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