Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Miss Kansas,

I read your blog yesterday.  Turns out, we have a lot in common.  I’m a blog writer.  You’re a blog writer.  I’m a Kansas beauty queen, you’re a Kansas beauty queen.

It’s almost like we’re twins.

So you have rocked the pageant world by declaring yourself the first contestant who will show your tattoos as you walk the runway in the swimsuit competition.  You go on to explain the reason for your two tattoos  (one being the serenity prayer down the side of your body and the other being a military tattoo.)


“As you might have noticed, I did not mention dragons, flowers, hearts or other frivolous items as one of my tattoos. I am a firm believer that lengthy and conscious thought should be given before getting “inked.” I am also firmly against (personally) getting a tattoo for the sake of getting a tattoo.”

I agree.  Where do people get off by getting any sentimental meaning out of a flower? Yes, flowers may have been created by God and that flower may have special meaning to that person, but I mean come on… It’s only when a person can write in 50 point font an entire prayer down the side of their body does it really show a person’s real commitment to their tat!

You go on to write about how we don’t live in the dark ages anymore and how the pageant must change with the times.  Women must not be judged on their beauty and talent anymore, but on their intellect and contributions in society and that is why you are going to protest the swimsuit competition that continues to sexualize  women in an unfair way.

Ooops…you didn’t say that last part.  I got carried away as your twin.

What you did say is, “Two more phrases catch my attention in the job description of Miss America. “She must be comfortable in her own skin” and “She must be true to whom she is as a person.” If I covered my tattoos, would I be fulfilling any of those requirements? No. I would be doing a disservice to myself and to those who have found me to be a role model.”

You go girl!

But I have to wonder…how much choice do you have if you are wearing in a bikini?  In times like these with HD televisions – it would take a hell of a lot of make-up to cover that enormous tattoo.  Maybe you were planning to hire a Hollywood make-up artist who did some work on sci-fi thrillers to cover up your billboardesque tat?  I think it would require a bit more than your average cover-up could handle.

Are you really doing this to take a stand or are you forced to do this because you had no choice before you went on a national stage in a bikini?

Who am I to talk?  I am just the LAST place finisher at the 1984 Pre-Teen Miss Kansas Pageant in Wichita, KS. My parents bought this sash in the gift shop and had me post like this so I wouldn’t feel so bad.  This was before hair extensions, fake tans and bedazzelers.  We’ve come a long way baby.Aimee pageant

Can I make a request?  When you’re on stage, can you lift your arm so I can read the prayer?  I sometimes forget how it goes.




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