Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

October 1, 2013

Dear Tea Party:

I didn’t think you would actually do it, but you did.

You broke the government.

Today, tourists from some dysfunctional, third-world country will visit Washington, DC and they will marvel in how close it now resembles their own.  “I thought we had problems with abuse of power and government coups, but it’s nothing compared to this mess,” said anonymous tourist from west African nation.

It’s so bad that 80-year-old WWII vets are “storming” the WWII monument today that has been “closed” due to the shutdown.  Makes me want to stand up and sing “God bless America.”

Now I know what has my panties in a wad about the government shut down – things like Head Start running out of money and the WIC program being defunded.  These are government programs that help the under privileged in our society – our impoverished children who may go hungry, because of this partisan bickering.

If you are a Tea Party member and you are reading this, I probably sound like Charlie Brown’s mom right now.  So I will stop my liberal speech about those “entitlement programs” that cause big government and do little things like feed kids.

In an effort to bridge the gap, I am making an effort to point out some of the programs that mean a lot to the Christian conservatives that will suffer because of this shut down.  Maybe by taking the time to point out these valuable programs, we can understand the other side and hopefully start-up negotiations as a way to jump-start the most powerful government in the world.

Here are the top 3 things that mean something to the Tea Party and have been shut down:

1.  Gun permits could be slowed down or even stopped!  In a time when conceal and carry permits are at their all time high, forget WIC programs being de-funded, your gun permits could stop being processed.  Holy AK-47 Batman!  This is serious!  How can you be a good guy with a gun to fight off the bad guys with guns if your government can’t process your gun permits?

2.  The Navy-Air Force Game may be postponed.  “Troy Garnhart, an associate athletics director for Air Force, told The (Annapolis) Capital newspaper there “is a possibility” the game would be affected. Garnhart told the paper that upper-class cadets at Air Force are considered military personnel, which means they could be subject to travel restrictions under the shutdown.”  We are talking about football – the great American sport, not some silly educational program here people.  Get back to the negotiating table.  There is pizza and beer to consume, television to watch and football to be played.

3.  The pandacam is down.  This is serious people.

Enough said.



3 thoughts on “My serious appeal to the Tea Party.

  1. Ray Plenty says:

    Maybe you were born rich, but most American’s had to learn how to balance their budgets. When one partner is spending more than the couple makes, the other tries to stop it. It may mean cutting the cable tv, date nights, air conditioning, etc. America has bills to pay, yet Obama wants to add trillions to our debt….

    And if you liberals really care about these “under privileged in our society”, I am sure you all will step up and take care of them. Do you honestly believe only government can care for them?

    1. Oh it’s the “you just don’t understand” argument. I can assure you that I do understand. I know budgets and I also know the measurement of a great society is how they care for their most vulnerable.

      I do my part. I also encourage you to travel the world to countries without social safety nets or government services and then ask yourself if that’s what we strive to be like.

      Thanks for reading!

    2. John Stamey says:

      Mr. Plenty: The tired analogy that the US goverenment and its spending is parallel or otherise identical to family budgeting is entirely false. Unlike familes, schools, businesses, counties, cities, states, and other countries, the United States Gov’t is the only instition in the world that can print its own US dollars. Of course there are consequences to doing this (both good and bad) so its not to be done flippantly. This difference undermines your analogly wholly. Please stop using it because it doesn’t work.

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