Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

My hometown, Kansas City, is part of the final eight cities in a bid to host the next Republican Convention.  I feel good about my city winning the bid.  Kansas City is an amazing place filled with great restaurants, nightlife and excellent people.  I realize that the convention will bring with it “Up to 40,000 visitors, millions of dollars in economic activity and the national spotlight when Republicans gather to formally nominate a presidential candidate.”

As a Democrat, the idea of 40,000 “visitors” a.k.a. Republicans taking over my town doesn’t have me jumping up and down with joy, however, even I understand the economic benefits that would come with winning a convention of this size.

Never willing to pass up a good opportunity, I am currently writing a Craigslist ad to lease my apartment out to a RNC visitor needing a place to stay.

Republican Bungalow You Won’t Want to Miss

2 bedroom, 2 bath apartment located in the heart of Republican country.  You will feel right at home in this updated apartment featuring:

  • Down pillows on the bed to rest your head after a long-hard day of thinking about the War on Christianity.
  • A large television pre-programmed to record every Duck Dynasty.
  • Large closets to hold all of your Brooks Brother suits.
  • A refrigerator filled with Kansas City beef to help satisfy that trickle down appetite.
  • Close to expensive boutiques and country clubs that cater to the 1%.
  • A variety of Dr. Seuss books to prepare for the next Government shut down.
  • A Bible
  • A comfortable couch where you can sit down and rest after figuring out how to cut benefits for millions of underserved Americans.

Prior to your arrival I will:

  • Remove all copies of Mother Jones and Vanity Fair
  • Throw out all remaining containers of couscous and hummus
  • Update my music collection to include artists other than the Indigo Girls
  • Put my Obama/Biden sign out of sight
  • Replace my Hemp lotion with an Axe Body Spray
  • Hide all t-shirts saying “my body, my choice”

Seeing is believing so don’t let this opportunity pass you by!


For up-to-date news on the latest for Kansas City’s bid for the convention click here:


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