Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

I’ve decided I want a drone.

I’m not talking about the drones that kill people, but just a regular, non-violent drone.

Regular folks are buying drones.  A close friend of mine bought a drone.  Seriously – he called and told me he bought a drone.  I’m not really sure why he has a drone, but for some reason that sounds so cool.  He is a drone owner or a drowner. 

Just the other day a drone crashed into a St. Louis building. (No it wasn’t my friend’s drone.)

“According to the FAA, civilians can have and operate drones, if you maintain a visual while flying and keep it under 400 feet above ground. The drone that crashed Monday hit the 30th floor of the 593-foot-tall building. It crashed into a floor that houses a law firm. Witnesses tell NewsChannel 5 an employee of the firm found the drone and called security.”

I’ve compiled a list of things I would use my drone for:

1. Taking out the trash.  Now that I’m not married, I have to take out the trash.  I live in an apartment so schlepping trash bags out to the dumpster is a major pain.  I could use my drone to take out my trash. I would fly my trash right off my balcony. (Yes, this is the ultimate in lazy.  No need to point that out.)

2.  It could take my kid to soccer practice.  I could get a comfy basket on the bottom, my kid could jump in a whoosh she is off to practice.  No issues with her walking and my fear of stranger danger.  She could just fly to practice and fly home.

3.  It could take my mail to the post office.  No more standing in lines at the post office.  Just fly your mail right there.

4. It could scope out big crowds.  Worried about how busy the Plaza Art Fair is?  No problem.  Just send your drone with a camera to report back to see if it’s a go or if you should wait.

5.  It could take my doggie to doggie day care.  Remember how comfy Toto was in Dorothy’s basket?  Hook one up to your drone and fly little Toto to Doggie’s Day Out.

What would you use your drone for if you were a drowner?

It’s fun to think about anyway.





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