Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Dear Gov. Brownback,

 

My mother always taught me that when someone gives you a gift, it is always good manners to send them a thank you note.  That is why I am writing you today – to thank you.  Now you and I have never seen eye-to-eye so why would I be sending you a thank you note?  It’s all about your campaign event yesterday.

First, you had Rick Santorum at your event.  He is my favorite batshit crazy conservative hottie.  He is my go to guy to headline any conservative event.  I am guaranteed two things: 1. that he is easy on the eyes and 2. that he will say something completely stupid.  Ding! Ding!  I was correct on both for your event yesterday.

“Sam takes on the dragons. He is the warrior,” Santorum said, later adding, “He is a visionary in a state that can lead.”

Who exactly are the dragons in the scenario?  The teachers?  Maybe it’s the Kansas taxpayers?  No I’m guessing it’s the underserved people who are getting screwed now that Medicaid has gone over to Kancare.  One thing is for sure, dragons are kind of like the success of Brownback’s tax policy – a fantasy.

I also love the part where Santorum said the free world was a stake with this election.  And people say I’m dramatic.  Geez…

Moving on…

I also need to thank you for the venue that you picked.  You had your campaign rally yesterday at a used car lot.  Now I’m not the one who started jokes centered around used car lots so don’t blame me for going there.

Here is one for your entertainment:

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car. He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it?

“Heavens no, we bought it.”

“Then why don’t you drive it away.”

“We can’t drive.”

“Then why did you buy it?”

“We were told that if we bought a car here we’d get screwed …so we’re just waiting.

You are welcome.  Remember to tip your waitress and try the prime rib.  Anyway, of all the places you could have had your event, you pick a used car lot?  There are so many jokes to be had here regarding the used car lot and the state of the Kansas economy.  For example…

What does the Kansas economy and Brownback’s campaign rally have in common?  They both resemble a used car lot.  See how easy that was.  Or what does a used car lot and Brownback’s tax policy have in common?  They are both full of lemons.

I could go on and on….

Anyway, thanks for the comic relief.

Finally, my favorite part of your speech was the part where you blame the Kansas City Star for your troubles.

“We’re not getting a lot of good reporting from the Kansas City Star.”

Now hang on there.  Those are my peeps over there.  I don’t think you can blame the Kansas City Star for your issues.  If  I google articles regarding your failed tax policies I get articles from:

  • Kansas City Star
  • New York Times
  • Los Angeles Times
  • Huffington Post
  • Business Week

Just to name a few.  Here’s the deal.  They wouldn’t be writing these articles unless…wait for it…your tax policies didn’t suck.  Let’s just be honest.  You gambled big. If you would have won, you would be successfully running for President on this platform.  You lost and the result was now Kansas is suffering.  You can try to spin this anyway you want, but this is of your own doing.

Anyway, can’t thank you enough for a great laugh.  I really appreciate it.  It’s not often I receive a gift as good as this.

Sincerely (and I mean that),

Aimee

Read more here: http://www.kansascity.com/news/government-politics/article724518.html#storylink=cpy
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26 thoughts on “My sincere thank you letter to Sam Brownback

  1. danielbbentley says:

    Thanks for that…you are cogent, incisive and not afraid to look behind the curtain.

    1. Thank you for reading! I appreciate your comments.

  2. docbill1351 says:

    Simply brilliant!

  3. Awesomely delicious! Bravo! Loved it! I would add to your letter that nasty comments about Brownback ALSO appear in every small/medium/large town across the state. If you read the Eagle op-ed page on Monday mornings they typically have a slot with NOTHING but negative press about ol’ brownie. Then, just for added hilarity…go to his facebook page. The only one who possess a positive image of this…turd…I would be ashamed if they wanted to sponsor me. How’s THAT for a ringing endorsement? 😉

    1. Thanks Kate! I appreciate your reading and comments. I haven’t been to his Facebook page, but I can only imagine! I’ll have to check it out.
      Cheers,
      Aimee

      1. Lonnie says:

        Oh, no! Don’t comment on his Facebook page! He will send a minion to your principal to request that you get after school detention for not giving your state government officials the proper amount of respect! He gets all a Twitter about nice looking girls making deroggatory comments about his policies!

  4. dcarmack says:

    I was raised in Kansas, too. Can’t say that the state has changed for the better. Was encouraged to see all of the moderate republicans throwing in behind the Dem for Governor. Davis, right? I have been closely following the news on the tax policies over there. Even Krugman weighed in. Brownback for President, right? That would surely get us a liberal majority on the court when he is soundly beaten in his run for President.

    1. You and I both agree – nothing has changed for the better in the past 3 years or so. Amazing all the Republicans who came out for Paul Davis. We will see what happens in the election!

      Thanks for reading and commenting! Cheers – Aimee

  5. Lila Holler says:

    pleasantlyeccentric, you are a hoot !!! Your clever writing puts a smile on my face. Something that has not happened much since Brownass took office. Thanks & keep up the articles.

  6. I have no idea who you are…but man…you sure are cute, and smart, and I love and share your politics!

  7. Jan says:

    Even at that used car lot they couldn’t sell the lemonade they made from their failed policy lemons? By Gipper that’s sad!

  8. Willis Coyle says:

    This is the absolutely the best read I have seen about why we need to send our Governor to early retirement.

  9. Keith Hall says:

    Aimee, Well done. Excellent work. A very nice complement to the KC Star as well.

    1. Thank you! the KC Star has been very good to me. I will always defend them. Look for my articles in the Star. My next one will be in September! Take care, Aimee

  10. barbara blair says:

    He doesn’t tip food service workers respectfully either! Shame on you Mr. Brownback!

  11. It beggars belief that anyone would vote for a GOP governor – they destroy everything in their path. Kansas, Florida, Wisconsin … once great states now ruined.

    1. okielib says:

      Same thing happening in Oklahoma. Fallin & Brownback much the same “Koch addicts” and equally as destructive.

  12. Please don’t overlook the Primary Election in the Big First District. Alan LaPolice, just endorsed by Salina Journal, looks forward to working with anyone willing to advance the interests of Kansas. Please watch and share this 30 second YouTube video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0N6TjGjiZ8

  13. Jamie says:

    Eloquently hilarious, your words have just recruited a new fan.

    1. Thank you so much! You made my day. Cheers, Aimee

  14. Pat Long says:

    Thank you for the smile, Aimee. Eloquent and direct…I like that in a journalist!

  15. Dan says:

    Thanks for the blog piece. It is very useful for teaching others how liberals think, all innuendo and no substance . Calling names and making silly comparisons along with crude jokes shows your inability to make substantive arguments. Keep up the good work, the other side needs more like you !

  16. Dave Michael says:

    Great letter Aimee! I’m assuming Gov. Brownback is too modest to share your compliments with the world, so to make sure his constituents see it, I posted a link on his Facebook Page.

    Your mother seems to have taught you well.

  17. Chuck Wentworth says:

    Aimee. You were eloquent, yet, very honest and heartfelt. But, what I liked most of all, was the “STRAIGHT FORWARD IN YOUR FACE” hilarity you used. Your Cuz !!! (ask your Mom)

    1. Hey cuz-asked my mom and don’t think we are related. Thanks for the nice note! I appreciate it!! Take care-Aimee

  18. pulltabMiner says:

    I walked around trying to put a finger to all the things I don’t like about Sam and you did a fantastic job putting it into focus for me. Thank you; great post!

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