Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Governor Jay Nixon of Missouri had a terrible, horrible no good very bad day the other day when the Missouri Senate had a field day overriding just about all of his vetoes.  There were two key vetoes that I had my eye on – increasing the 72 hours waiting period for abortions in Missouri and expanding gun rights to include open carry by reducing the age and arming Missouri teachers.  guns

First  the abortion waiting period.  I’m sure the lawmakers are patting themselves on the back for increasing the waiting period from 24 hours to 72 hours, but get this…there is NO exception for rape or incest.  Girls, pregnant with your daddy’s baby?  Here’s the good news.  You now have 48 MORE hours to sit and think about this horrific situation you find yourself in.  Here’s the deal – the jury is still out on whether or not mandatory waiting period even decrease the number of abortions.

So I have to ask myself – what’s the real point here?  I think you and I both know – ultimately Missouri lawmakers want to do away with abortion altogether.  How about this idea – in the next session just go ahead and introduce legislation for a mandatory 9 month waiting period.  That cuts right to the chase.

On to the next hot button issue – guns.

The Missouri Senate blocked the veto by Governor Nixon that now has Missouri schools arming teachers.  Yes, they have to go through training.  Yes it could potentially stop an armed intruder..blah blah blah

What could go wrong with this new legislation?

I give you Exhibit A out of Utah just the other day:

A Utah teacher had an accidental discharge in the school bathroom Thursday.

An unidentified teacher is in stable condition after accidentally shooting herself in the leg in the faculty bathroom of Westbrook Elementary School before classes started, officials told the Daily News.

The trigger-prone teacher, who has a concealed weapons permit, is currently recovering in a local hospital after the shot went off. Luckily, no students or other staff were around when the gun fired.

“She appears to have fallen, and she was in the restroom,” said Granite School District spokesman Ben Horsley. “It’s up to you to decide how that happened.”


Ok Ben – I will take a stab at how this happened.   The teacher, I’m going to call her Mrs. Smith, went to the women’s bathroom.  It was a long day teaching a group of active fourth graders.  She was on her feet all day.  It was day two of her three-day juice fast and she was on her third kale and apple juice.  She had gained a little weight and wanted to drop a few before sweater season starts.  The juices were as good as Mrs. Johnson who teaches in the third grade says, but boy do they make her have to pee.  Sure enough half way though the spelling test the urge set in.  Excusing herself to the bathroom quickly she put the “know it all” girl Kelsey in charge and ran down the hall to the teacher’s bathroom.

As luck would have it, she was wearing her too tight skinny jeans.  She couldn’t wear her pink, bedazzeled holster she normally wears with her gun to school so she had her clip-on holster attached to her skinny jeans with the gun tucked inside making the skinny jeans that much skinnier.   Great, she thought, she was already in full pee dance while unbuttoning her skinny jeans.  During the dance, she bent over to get that dang button undone and in doing so she fell forward causing the gun to shoot out of the back of her jeans like a sling shot and in doing so it fired.

Ben, that is my version of how this happened.  But then again….I could be wrong.

Now Missouri lawmakers have paved the way to bring guns into Missouri schools to stop the rare chance of an armed intruder entering the schools.  I have to think that more instances like this Utah teachers are bound to happen putting our Missouri children at risk.  All kidding aside, it was just luck that children weren’t present when this gun went off in the restroom where this teacher was.  Now that the legislation has passed, only time will tell if there will be more accidents like this.




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