Dear people of Kansas,
We all know that the election is over and Brownback is set to govern for another term. Now that it’s over, we’ve got ourselves a little problem. It’s no biggie really – just a teeny, tiny problem. In case you haven’t heard, we are broke. I’m not just talking a little broke, I’m talking broke with a capital “B” as in there ain’t no mo’ money. We all know that Brownback implemented some pretty extreme tax cuts (that’s the understatement of the century) and now our budget is in what I like to call “danger, danger Will Robinson” crisis mode.
Since I picture Brownback in my head as Dana Carvey doing a SNL George Bush Sr. impression saying, “read my lips, no new taxes”, we find ourselves in quite a bind.
For his part, House Speaker Ray Merrick, R-Stilwell, has been unwilling to budge on the income tax cuts.
“The new revenue estimates only highlight the continuing need to protect core services while streamlining state government,” Merrick said in a statement. “We do not have a revenue problem, we have a spending problem.”Read more here: http://www.kansas.com/news/politics-government/article3727924.html#storylink=cpy
I like this tactic of just ignoring that taxes are now too low to support our budget. We will just blame everything on our “spending problem.” Like my issue with buying too many cute shoes every time it’s payday, the state of Kansas has a spending problem. How big of a spending problem? We have to cut our budget by…..insert drum roll….$279 million dollars!
I’m attaching the budget memo that outlines everything. I’m not a numbers girl so feel free to geek yourselves out over this attachment and join me again when you are done. 2014_CRE_ShortMemo-11-10-14
Holy shit batman that’s a lot of dough!
Grab your red pens, get comfy and let’s offer suggestions to Governor Brownback on where he can come up with $279 MILLION dollars in budget savings for the state of Kansas. When your state budget goes from resembling filet mignon to Hamburger Helper, I think all suggestion should be on the table. I’m not exactly sure what Ray Merrick thinks are “core services” versus take ’em or leave ’em services so I’ll just have to do my best to guess on that.
1. Education – I understand that 50% of the Kansas state budget comes from education. I heard that parents of Kansas students, like me, have nothing to worry about when it comes to further cuts to education. Wink. Wink. Sure I believe that. We all know that Kansas has pretty much cut the hell out of education in the past few years. How about we just cut to the chase and do away with education altogether? That’s right grab your red pen and just mark out education. It’s not really a “core service” anyway. Just the other day I noticed my daughter can read at a 2nd grade level, because she’s in 2nd grade and I thought to myself….she’s good. No need to go any proceed with any more education.
See how easy this is. I’m saving money left and right.
2. Prisons and law enforcement – In case you haven’t noticed, Kansas put’s the PRO in the pro-gun movement. That said, we can do away with prisons and law enforcement. Every citizen will be issued a firearm and there you go! We will bring back the Old West mentality when it comes to law enforcement. I don’t know about you, but I trust my bat-shit crazy neighbor to enforce the law on my block and keep me safe from any shenanigans that might erupt.
3. Senior and disability services – Grandma and Grandpa, I think you have just about had enough when it comes to senior services. Kansas needs to cut funds and this is when it’s time to call your ungrateful kids and tell them it’s time to pony up. No more senior meals, transportation and prescription drug assistance. Hey peeps – guess what? Because Kansas can’t balance their budget, mom and dad are going to have to move in with you!
4. Cutting the WIC programs for women, infants and children – nothing says being a good Christian like cutting out the WIC program. Think about all the money it could save the state! Instead of providing nutritional assistance to women and their families who qualify, the state of Kansas can just give them a cardboard sign and a marker and show them which street corner is appropriate to beg on. What’s the saying? It helps build character.
These are just some of my suggestions. I’m sure you can offer more.
Hopefully you realize that my suggestions are a joke. I’m afraid that the Kansas legislature and Sam Brownback won’t realize this and will actually take steps to cut these valuable programs. They have already cut millions of dollars in funding to valuable programs like education and taken extreme measures like privatizing Medicaid which has ended up with disastrous results. Coming up with $279 million dollars in budget cuts can only mean that more important programs will be on the chopping block. When will they realize that keeping taxes at this unrealistic level is hurting Kansas, Kansas families and our Kansas children?
Now excuse me. It’s payday and that can only mean one thing – it’s time to buy some cute shoes!Advertisements