Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Topeka is in rapid fire homophobia mode this week.  It’s happening so fast that I can’t keep up.ward and June cleaver
First there was the CARE Family Senate bill 158 introduced earlier this week.  Let me sum that up for you.  If you want to be a 1st tier foster family in Kansas you have to look and act like Ward and June Cleaver.  You must be a heterosexual, happily married couple who doesn’t drink or smoke and you can only have happy thoughts about Jesus.  If you are all of those things, you will be awarded by the state with more money to foster children.  That doesn’t sound like a morality bribe to me.

Then came the announcement yesterday that Gov. Brownback rescinded anti-discrimination protection for LGBT state workers.

“This Executive Order ensures that state employees enjoy the same civil rights as all Kansans without creating additional ‘protected classes’ as the previous order did,” Brownback said in a statement. “Any such expansion of ‘protected classes’ should be done by the legislature and not through unilateral action. The order also reaffirms our commitment to hiring, mentoring and recognizing veterans and individuals with disabilities.”

Each one of these actions required their own blog entry, but honestly I just don’t have time.  Can I please recommend that Topeka just ssssllllooowwwss down on the homophobia.  It’s only February!   Pace yourself better.  I mean if you do all this by March, the rest of the year is going to be a homophobia snoozefest!

I heard all the states got together and based on your pace and your passion for homophobia – Kansas I’m happy to announce that you have been crowned Mr. Homophobia 2015! Way to go.  Once you set your mind to something Kansas, nothing gets in your way.

(Cue balloon drop and the crowd goes wild!)

As Mr. Homophobia 2015 your duties will include:

1.  Launching a nationwide speaking tour entitled:  How to successfully turn back the clock on your state to 1950!

2.  Attract Kansas government employees with the slogan- Kansas is the way minus the gay.

3.  Meet with children all over Kansas who are waiting to be placed with a foster family.  Explain to them that there may be loving and caring foster families available, but because those families might be with two men who love each other – sorry kiddos you are just going to have to wait.  I’m sure those children who just want to be in a loving home won’t mind.

Congratulations Kansas!  I’m sure you are thrilled with your new title, however, the rest of us are embarrassed.





12 thoughts on “Announcement – Kansas wins Mr. Homophobia 2015!

  1. randyattwood says:

    Surprised they didn’t add a clause that any foster child brought into one of the “approved” homes who also converted to Evangelical Christianity would be given a bonus. Next look for a new school finance formula that funds vouchers for state-approve Christian private schools. If you want to see where all this is headed go to Amazon and look at “Rabbletown: Life in These United Christian States of Holy America.”

  2. Susan Mayer says:

    It is so disgusting isn’t it…


    Susan Mayer 74 Harley Street 913.244.4900

    Sent from my iPhone


    1. Aimee Patton says:

      Yes it is Susan! I wish I had more time to devote one blog post to each of these issues. There just isn’t enough time in the day. It’s unbelievable what these lawmakers are doing.

      It’s a sad day in Kansas.

    1. Aimee Patton says:

      Why so unhappy? Can I help turn that frown upside down?

      1. jdoublep says:

        No. This news (and all Brownback’s recent b.s.) makes me so sad – and pretty angry, too. But mostly just frowny.

      2. Aimee Patton says:

        I get that. If there was a red faced one with smoke coming out of the ears – that would be me right now.

  3. kansasvoices says:

    Exceptional Aimee!

    When do you start your own radio talk show?

    More important, when can I buy your lunch?

    Was there a hidden message in this post?

    “Turning back the clocks (cocks) to 1950”?

    My prediction: Sam will issue an executive order to remove HOMOgenized milk from all KS groceries and school lunch programs!

    Thank you Aimee for writing what I love to read and tweet, but don’t have the ability to create.


    1. Aimee Patton says:

      I wish I was clever enough for a hidden message. No hidden message – it’s all there for the whole world to see. Too bad that I wrote this blog in 10 minutes before work. There is so much more I would have liked to put in there if I had more time. Oh well…. Hope things are well with you! Thanks for the support.


  4. Michael Box says:

    I remain concerned about one of our most recognizable songs, Somewhere Over the Rainbow. The lyrics will need to be reworked.

    Sam’s double speak reminds me of the Texas Governor from the Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, how he loves to do the sidestep, now they see him, now they don’t. Governor Sebelius’s executive order did not establish suspect classifications, that can only be done by a court of competent jurisdiction reviewing the matter to determine a violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the U.S. Constitution.

    And frankly, what are these special rights Sam keeps talking about? Isn’t being denied the right to love whomever you choose to love an abridgement of a person’s liberty interest in violation of the due process clause of the the federal constitution? Hasn’t the question of marriage being a fundamental right been answered as far back as 1967 in Loving v. Virginia? There a black woman and a white man sued for the right to marry. Of course it was a case from the old South where less than a hundred years before the woman would have only have been a slave. Back before the Civil War all women were essentially property in the eyes of the law.

    Well if we can manage to get over all that backwards thinking, can’t we start treating the LGBT community with the same exact rights that the majority community enjoys? That would be special.

  5. RE: “Announcement – Kansas wins Mr. Homophobia 2015!”

    Aimee Patton how dare you!!

    I’ll have you know that Kansas is a gender-neutral state.

    By designating our great state as “Mr.” you have revealed an extreme and hateful gender bias which you no doubt harbor deep in your heart. I can only hope that you seek counseling for this affliction and seek remorse for your actions.

    Go forth and repent!

    1. Aimee Patton says:

      A ha! I have been caught. I will seek out counseling immediately! Thank you for pointing out my flaws. Repenting is in progress…..

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