Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

I’m happy to announce that after many hours of thought and hundreds and hundreds of hours of debate – it’s finally happened.  I’ve been drawn to the other side.  I’ve finally been convinced to become a imagesConservative Republican.

I’m not sure when the final moment came that convinced me that the conservative movement was where I belonged.  Maybe it was in the comment section of my blog and twitter feed of my most recent gun-control blog?  All of the comments calling me an idiot made me feel so welcome and like I really belonged.  I was so moved by the argument that one can’t just single out guns, because “hands and feet also kill people” and my favorite – “you can’t just regulate guns for training – how about bleach? Bleach kills people.”  Right you are my friend.

Then there is the Indiana law that discriminates against gay people.  I guess I’m going to have to change my way of thinking about that.  It’s not discrimination, it’s just religious liberty!  I’ll just have to find a way to look past that an Indiana bakery may decide not to sell me a Bar Mitzvah cake someday, because of their feelings about Jewish people.  Will I be mad?  In the words of Governor Pence – heavens no!  Who am I to stand in the way of someone’s religious liberty!

Yep – the Conservative Republicans are where I belong.  I’m sure they will welcome me.  Who knows?  I might decide to run for office as well as a Conservative Republican.  I can’t wait to give speeches saying our public schools are over funded. I think we can all agree that our children are just over educated when it comes to subjects like art and music.

Oh and then there is the exciting topic about evolution versus creationism.  I might need to practice saying that the earth is only 2,000 years old so I can sound convincing.  I’m sure with enough practice I can end up sounding believable.  You can’t tell me that the politicians who say that actually said it the first time without laughing.  It takes practice, but I’m committed.

So you heard it here first – I’m crossing the line and joining the party of Fox News!   I’m sure when I show up at my first event, I will only be welcomed with high-five and hugs.

Yours for Conservative politics,

Aimee

 

(Happy April Fools Day!)

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9 thoughts on “Read it here first! My big announcement

  1. louannthomas says:

    Thank goodness it’s April Fool’s Day!! We don’t want to lose you here on the side of Light and Reason! Love your posts! You so often so bravely say what I am thinking! We need your voice and I appreciate it.

  2. Aimee Patton says:

    Thank you! You haven’t lost me. I just had to write this post. I didn’t think anyone would believe it. Thanks for reading and your support. Aimee

  3. Remember when Opus the penguin got hit on his head and became a conservative? Good times.

  4. Kansaswoman says:

    Is it possible that these conservative repubs are caught in a perpetual April Fool’s Day just like the Groundhog Day movie?

  5. Greg says:

    I am sending you a HUG!! Glad you wont be preaching that ignorant crap I have read in the past!! Maybe now you will listen to Fox News and compare to the junk from some of the liberal stations! And realize maybe at least some of what they say on Fox makes sense !! It is good to hear both sides !! And talking about the earth being older than 2000 years – I believe kansas used to be under water and dinosaurs roamed far to the north – and then the ice age came !! I guess climate change existed before cars?? Oh April fools!!

  6. Charlie Roth says:

    Cons don’t say (out loud and in public) that schools are over funded. They say education is their top priority and then under fund them.

  7. bobarmi says:

    I’m signing you up for the NRA and a subscription to Glen Beck…….April Fools

  8. Robert Merritt says:

    You scared me for a second. LOL

  9. themadkansan says:

    …I thought you hace COMPLETELY flipped your shit, April Fools notwithstanding, until I saw the [snark] tags in the page source.

    ~8D

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