Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Are you a poor person in Kansas who receives government assistance each month and takes luxury cruises?   I can just picture it – your $497 per month comes in and you think, “dial-up Carnival Cruise lines where am I headed this month with my family of four?  The Bahamas?  No I think I’ll head to Alaska!”

The new Kansas bill focused on government assistance will prevent poor people from cruising.

Maybe you a poor person, but cruising isn’t your style.  Let’s face it, cruising isn’t for everyone.  Maybe eating lobster at every meal is how you roll.  We all know that only the finest lobster can be feasted on for a family of four living on $16 per day.  As a single mother with 3 children – you will get over hearing your children cry from hunger for the other 15 days out of the month when you feed them lobster for the first 16 days.

Well, KS HB 2258 puts a stop to all that.  In fact, HB 2258 prohibits welfare recipients from spending their benefits at liquor stores, fortune tellers, swimming pools and cruise ships.  People on welfare would only be able to withdraw $25 per day.  Nothing says self-sufficient like forcing budgets on people.

Are you poor and want to take your children swimming?  Sorry – swimming is for rich kids according to this bill. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, get a job and then MAYBE your kids can swim. Until then (said in the Soup Nazi voice)- no swimming for you.

A tragic outcome to this bill are the poor fortune tellers that will be put out of business.  I’m sure you have driven by Miss Charlotte’s Palm Reading’s pink house on Main Street with the line around the block of disadvantaged people just waiting to get their palm read to see what their future holds.  Most of the readings go like this….

“You will barely have enough money on government assistance to feed your family of four this month.  There aren’t enough jobs out there with your type of qualifications to hire you.  Keep your chin up and keep trying.  Don’t get depressed.”

Back to the cruising restrictions.  I’m really glad that the KS GOP put that in place.  It was completely necessary to point out to poor people that they can’t spend their money cruising.  I went to the Carnival Cruise Lines website and the cheapest cruise I could find was a $294/person trip to the Bahamas.  I’m no math wiz, but that totals up to $1,176 – far more than the $497 per month for a family of four that people receive on government assistance.

But that’s not the point Aimee!  The point is that we should humiliate poor people and point out that even if they were considering it – THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO EVEN THINK ABOUT CRUISING.

After Brownback signs HB 2258 with these ridiculous restrictions on government assistance, I want him and the rest of the Kansas Conservatives to tell me again about what good Christians they are.





25 thoughts on “Poor people in Kansas restricted from taking cruises? We all know poor people take lots of cruises.

  1. Lisa Benlon says:

    You continue to impress me with your insight. I’d like for you to write more in depth about the ability for those on public assistance to be able to withdraw only $25.00 per day from their ATM account. Can you imagine the amount of fees that will be made by the banking industry…who by the way give lots of money to Republican candidates? That is just less in the pocket of the recipient. The multiple trips to the ATM at $25 per visit eats up fuel money and the vicious circle goes round and round.
    Will they still be able to spend more than $25 per grocery trip or are they restricted there also?
    Can this group of legislators be more punitive in their actions? AND, this is federal money. It’s not like it is state money…
    There is no need to be wasteful, but I bet one would find, percentage-wise, more state legislators with questionable money practices than one would those on public assistance.

    1. Aimee Patton says:

      Hi Lisa – that is an excellent point. Usually behind these bills are some people who stand to make a lot of money. I think you hit the nail on the head with the banking fees. I didn’t even think about that aspect! I had someone else bring up the point that why not put restrictions on the lawmakers’ salaries as well. It’s taxpayer funded. I wonder how that would sit with them? Thanks for reading and your great comment!


      1. WhiteGoatee says:

        ARGHH!! Now this would be a story worthy of your witty analysis.
        Please see:

        Stick to the facts, and the facts will tell the story. Remember the mantra– “follow the money”?
        JP Morgan, the Federal Reserve’s right hand man, and financial behemoth bailed out during the 2008-2009 financial crisis, has been the primary beneficiary of those who manage the food stamp program.

        Especially on the national level, there is little difference between the Republicans and Democrats, and to act otherwise is simply foolish. Think of two organized crime families jockeying for control of the most lucrative turf.

        Please do not enable bad behavior. Hold others to the standard of conduct which promotes responsibility, self-reliance, strong family life, and a civil society.

        I thank you for your humor.

      2. Brock says:

        You really can’t take out $25 because the ATM dispenses cash in increments of $20.

  2. Michael Box says:

    During Lent we were reminded of the woman who anointed Christ’s feet with expensive perfume. Some thought this gesture too lavish and that the perfume could have been sold with the proceeds going to the poor. Christ told them that the woman had done a good thing for him. Then he said “You always have the poor with you; and whenever you want, you can do something good for them.” Senator Tyson apparently didn’t get this bit of Good News when she offered the $25 a day amendment. Neither do the Republicans remember Deuteronomy 15:7-8 “Now if there are some poor persons among you, say one of your fellow Israelites in one of your cities in the land that the LORD your God is giving you, don’t be hard-hearted or tightfisted toward your poor fellow Israelites. To the contrary! Open your hand wide to them. You must generously lend them whatever they need.”

    Perhaps their faux-faith doesn’t go much beyond vaginas and LGBT issues.

  3. Blackbeard says:


    In this installation of Cap’n Patton’s Political Planks, we find the rum-soaked Aimee high in the crow’s nest shouting obscenities at the advancing Republican Guard armada.

    Because no one else had bothered, or even thought, to take up the fight for cruise-deprived indigent Kansans, the Jolly Aimee saw a niche she could itch. But recall dear reader–what happens when an itch turns to obsessive scratch? That’s right! The skin is damaged, opening one’s self to a treasure trove of opportunistic pirate-like parasites. Infection, and gangrene hoist their sails and storm your immune system’s beachhead. The end result? Hello Peg-leg!! Nice hook there Cap’n!!

    Kansas HB 2258 prohibits welfare recipients from spending their benefits at liquor stores, fortune tellers, swimming pools and cruise ships. And Aimee Patton is opposed to this? This action unfairly restricts those receiving public assistance, and attempts to humiliate them? Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of baloney!! What utter nonsense!

    America is increasingly moving away from a nation of self-reliant individuals, where civil society flourishes, toward a nation of individuals less inclined to practicing self-reliance and personal responsibility. Government programs not only crowd out civil society, but too frequently trap individuals and families in long-term dependence, leaving them incapable of escaping their condition for generations to come. Rebuilding civil society can rescue these individuals from the government dependence trap.

    The Index of Dependence on Government measures the growth in spending on dependence-creating programs that supplant the role of civil society. Dependence on government in the U.S. rose again in 2011, the year of the most recently available data, and which is principally assessed by this report. A solid majority of Americans polled by Rasmussen believe that government dependence is too high. In a September 2013 poll, 67 percent of adults nationwide said that too many Americans are dependent on the government.

    Thar she blows! Confine this Cap’n Patton to the poop deck til she’s shipshape and no longer three sheets to the wind.

    1. Aimee Patton says:

      Very funny…full of shit, but very funny! So what you are saying is we should make legislation based on what the majority of Americans perceive a problem to be? Sounds like sound logic to me. Again, thanks for the laugh. i like your writing. Cheers! Aimee

      1. Ben W. says:

        So, you’re saying we should craft legislation based on the perception and desires of the minority? Now if you’re looking for a concept in need of such a colorful tag line as “you’re full of shit,” I think you’ve found it. Stop mining such low hanging fruit and pandering to your liberal demographic. Why legislators chose to include such non sequiturs, is beyond me, but to say that a welfare recipient should be free to spend these funds at the liquor store or fortune tellers, directly harms those meant to be protected by such programs.

      2. Aimee Patton says:

        Hi Ben,
        That’s not what I’m saying at all. I don’t like crafting legislation based on the perception of anybody. I like to base legislation based on fact. The fact is that people aren’t using their welfare benefits on cruises. You can’t use KS welfare benefits out of state so it would be impossible for a KS resident to take a cruise (since KS is landlocked). It’s easy to grab such low hanging fruit when the GOP leaves it dangling out there for me to grab. Nobody wants anyone to work the system over – we can all agree on that, but this bill is unnecessary. Thanks again for reading and commenting!

  4. lindiana55 says:

    I think that this is a solution in search of a problem. Politicians love to fire up the constituency with wild tales of welfare fraud.

  5. Jack Mayer says:

    Great job, Aimee…..maybe legislators should get paid on a daily basis also….



  6. Linda says:

    What is wrong with having welfare reform and maybe some of these people will be more incline to look for a job so, they can withdrawal more than $25.00 from their OWN ATM card (in Some States You Cannot Withdrawal Money from your EBT card)….I used to work 2 jobs (one full-time & one part-time) and my part-time job was for a local Grocery Store off 87th Street and some of these people had over $800 on their EBT cards which is way more than we spend on our Groceries! Here’s some examples of how EBT is being abused: one fine Gentleman would come in purchase ONE piece of candy (mint candy) from the Bulk Candy pay $.05 WITH HIS EBT Card and get back $50.00 then an hour later he’d come back do the same thing ~ Why was he doing this? Well He was hanging out next door at Side Pockets drinking beer & playing pool on his cash back from the EBT. I can’t tell you the number of times people would get cash back from their EBT so, they could pay for their Tobacco & Alcohol purchases….Then there were the kids coming in with their parent’s EBT cards buying only candy and pop and getting cash back… So do we need EBT Reform YESSSS AND There is NOTHING Wrong With That! After working in a Grocery store and seeing the crap people spend their EBT on this reform is in order and EBT should be ran like The WIC (women, infant & Children) checks where you can only purchase HEALTHY FOODS: Vegetables, Fruit, Protein, Eggs & Dairy. So what is wrong with having people eat healthier and NOT being able to withdrawal over $25.00 from their EBT card ? if these people on EBT want an incentive to get off welfare – may be this will do it. Welfare is a hand up NOT a Handout like it has been for to many years.

  7. Derek says:

    They might not take cruises but wat little they have they do buy beer and cirgaretts and I’m fine with the bill that stops that

    1. Brock says:

      The problem is this bill doesn’t have any way to enforce its prohibitions so it doesn’t stop anything.

      1. Aimee Patton says:

        Hi Brock – excellent point. How will they enforce it? Great question! Aimee

  8. Suzio says:

    Who eveer wrote that bill was not thinking clearly….they left off casino’s…………duh

    1. Aimee Patton says:

      Nope – casinos are in there! They thought of just about everything! Cheers, Aimee

  9. Seth says:

    What is the purpose of government assistance?
    Is it okay to spend government assistance on luxury items or vices?

  10. A Wyut Maynn says:

    You honestly think that the professional welfare queens and other leeches on the government dole couldn’t? I applaud Kansas, loudly and mightily. How soon you forget the lap dances, liquor and sex toys YOUR tax dollars helped pay for when the Katrina fiasco happened.

    1. Kade says:

      One point for getting that old war horse of a dogwhistle “welfare queen” out of the barn.

  11. Steve Fetter says:

    If someone offered me money and said it could only be used for fruits, vegetables, cereal, or whatever they deem as appropriate, I Would say thank you.

    i would like to get one of these cards that would restrict my son in college from drinking away his monthly allowance.

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