Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

When you think of American college kids what comes to mind?

If you said partying – I would say grab some cheap beer and a beer bong and let’s do this!  However, if you are like many state lawmakers that’s not what is coming to mind these days.  Turns out when they think of college kids they are thinking about guns.

“In Texas, two bills are making their way through legislation: Last month, the state Senate passed a “campus-carry” measure. If the bill passes in the state House, Texas will be the largest state to allow students to carry concealed weapons to protect themselves.”

My home state of Kansas and 6 other states already have measures in place to allow students to carry concealed weapons on college campuses.

What could go wrong with college kids carrying guns?

I know when I was in college it was my most stable time.  Just ask some of my college boyfriends.

I Googled dumb things American college kids say and came up with some further evidence supporting that college kids and guns would make a fabulous combination.

My favorite result was from Reddit. Here are my favorites from dumb things college kids say:

1. “A girl in my class wrote Cockasian on a paper as a race.”

2. “Why did they bring slaves from Africa when they could have gotten black people from the Caribbean?” – African Studies class

3. “so ‘cat’ is the past tense of ‘cut’ right? Like, ‘I cat myself with my knife.'”

4. “It was wrong to use the atom bombs in Japan. Imagine how many Americans we killed, like all the people vacationing there at the time”

and finally my favorite –

5. “If Barack is our president, who’s Obama?”

You really believe these people should be armed?  Seriously?  Even #5?

Continuing on from the Texas Senator who supports the bill….

“Students have expressed concerns to me about their ability to protect themselves,” said the bill’s author, Sen. Brian Birdwell, R-Granbury, who several times invoked a “God-given” right to self-defense. “It’s time we don’t imperil their safety.”

Most college kids I’ve spoken to have only talked to me about their God-given right to party (see Beastie Boys song).  Anyhoo, we all know the first rule of politics is compromise and who am I to step in the way of someone’s God-given right to something.  For example, I have a God-given right to shoe shop and I dare someone to get in the way of me and a good shoe sale.

Even though I think this is a terrible idea, I’m willing to compromise.  We all know that sexual assault is a problem on college campuses.  How about if we only arm the women and see how that goes?


5 thoughts on “College kids carrying guns – what could go wrong?

  1. Kansaswoman says:

    Muskets for everyone. After all, if it was good enough for our Founding Fathers why should we need a more potent weapon? Maybe the loading process for a musket would give some of these hotheads more time to think. Assuming they are capable of rational thought, that is.

  2. AlBundy says:


    A sequel to that 90’s teen slasher film “I Know What You Did Last Summer”? If only!

    No, dear reader, our above title refers to what blogger Aimee Patton has penned in her latest musing. And a real “slasher” it is!

    College kids carrying guns – what could go wrong?

    Hmm…the question would seem to offer endless possibilities. As anyone familiar with the antics of young adults, or those willing and able to reflect honestly upon their own youth can attest, the college years can be a real-life embodiment of the phrase “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness.”

    In this posting, Ms. Patton purports to be concerned about the college crowd and their ability to handle responsibility. She writes, “My home state of Kansas and 6 other states already have measures in place to allow students to carry concealed weapons on college campuses.” While I have no problem with that statement, Ms. Patton doesn’t know when to stop, and begins a disjointed journey whereby she revisits old college boyfriends (WTF?), Googles “dumb things American college kids say”, and heads south to Texas to harp upon one of their state politicians.

    I say “purports to be concerned” because Ms. Patton is using the college students simply as an excuse to further her anti-gun crusade. Does she cite statistics demonstrating a rise in gun violence from the states who allow college students to carry concealed weapons on campus? No, she does not. In fact, have you read her blog postings expressing concern for the safety of college students because they’re allowed to consume alcohol, smoke cigarettes, drive recklessly, gorge on pizza and junk food, skip classes, etc. ? Me neither!! And I guess we both missed her article calling for the legalization of marijuana in Alaska, Colorado and Washington, to stop at the border of all college campuses.

    Approaching the close of her article, even Ms. Patton seems to have recognized the error in her judgment when she writes, “who am I to step in the way of someone’s God-given right to something.” So, let’s give thanks for some “sole” searching on behalf of this blogger who loves the “wedge” issues, though she often falls “flat” with her “high-heeled” rhetoric.

    We thank Ms. Patton for being a good sport, and assure her that we’re not a “heel” in real-life.

  3. 3boxesofbs says:

    Maybe part of the problem lies not with the people attending college but the perception that only ‘kids’ are attending college now day.
    Of course, “kids” who wish to carry on college campus have to be 21, eliminate a large portion of the ‘kids’ you are worried about.

    Second, a few minutes worth of research on the subject of who is attending college would show the stereotypical (the one you seem to only consider ) 18 to 22 year old, living on campus is a minority portion of the college population.

    Data reported by the consulting firm Stamats suggests that as few as 16 percent of college students today fit the so-called traditional mold: 18- to 22-years-old, financially dependent on parents, in college full time, living on campus.
    According to Stamats, more than 47 percent of students who are currently enrolled in colleges and universities in the United States are older than 25

    While the Affordable Care Act allows ‘children’ to be on a parents insurance until they are 26, can we really call 25 year old people ‘children’ any more? Or perhaps they are mature adults?

    According a 2002 National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) report, nontraditional students make up 73 percent of all students enrolled in undergraduate programs, and 39 percent of all undergraduate students are 25 years or older. Redd (2007) also indicated in a report for the Council of Graduate Schools ….

    Non-traditional students were defined in the 2002 NCES report as having at least one or more of the following characteristics: does not enter postsecondary enrollment in the same year that he or she completed high school, attends part-time for at least part of the academic year, works full time, is considered financially independent from a legal guardian, has dependents other than a spouse, is a single parent, does not have a high school diploma but a General Educational Development (GED) test.

    So the idea that drunken or irresponsible kids are the only ones affected by this is just another attempt to misdirect people. And lets not forget the prohibition on campus carry harms more than just the students; the staff, the administration, the professors also can not carry on campus. Surely you aren’t going to claim the very people we trust to teach and protect our kids are irresponsible?

    Bob S.

  4. To keep things in perspective, observational studies have shown that CCL holders commit less crimes than just about every conceivable demographic out there–including police officers. Gun crime has decreased over the past 25 years with the exception of gun free zones. I think this is a step in the right direction to prevent campuses from being easy targets for loonies and decreasing instances of sexual assault.

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