Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Brownback signed one of the most restrictive abortion measures in the nation three weeks ago in a private ceremony.

In keeping with the theme that a woman’s private health decisions shouldn’t be private, Brownback decided that his private ceremony shouldn’t be kept private either and is taking his signing ceremony on the road for a special three-time reenactment signing performance at Kansas schools.

The schools Brownback chose were private schools, because the Kansas public schools are closing in early May to accommodate for the drastic education budget cuts as a result of the Brownback tax cuts.

“The Kansas public schools were our first choice, but the teachers were busy getting end of the year testing done to let the schools out early, because funding dried up.  By the time our Brownback Bus would have arrived there wouldn’t have been any kids to rally,” said an anonymous Brownback source.

“Sucks to be them,” the source continued. “Looks like the private school kids will be the ones dazzled by the Governor’s reenactment.”

What can the private school kids look forward to in the signing reenactment?  One would think of a boring politician just signing a piece of paper, but not our Governor Sam Brownback.  This signing reenactment will be filled with dazzling stunts to keep the kids entertained.

Watch Brownback do a baton-twirling routine with his signing pen.  Gasp in awe as he lights the pen on fire and throw it up in the air doing multiple twists and turns while the audience is goes crazy with excitement!

Stare in amazement as he takes the abortion legislation paperwork and does the latest in origami.  Will he create a bird?  Maybe an owl?  The kids will shout with joy as he turns it into a hawk.

Finally, this stuffy politician will finish the ceremony with the latest in magic tricks.  The state needs to come up with $450,000 in tax money to defend this new legislation.  Watch Brownback go out in the audience and play “is that a quarter behind your ear or is it magic?”  Settle in because he will have to do that 1,800,000 times to come up with the money to cover the legal fees.

People who have previewed the reenactment said about the performance, “I laughed. I cried. It was better than Cats.”

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Brownback to re-enact abortion law signing. “I laughed, I cried, It was better than Cats.”

  1. Brian Johnson says:

    I’d buy that for a dollar!

  2. lindiana55 says:

    I wonder why it isn’t going to be done in a public location where women of childbearing age can enjoy the spectacle?

  3. Steve Miller says:

    When we last visited this blog, Ms. Patton was once again chafing at Kansas Republican government, for having the temerity to trust Kansans with their Constitutional rights. You see, dear reader, Ms. Patton was extremely concerned about the safety and welfare of Kansas college students and their inability to act responsibly.

    Today, we’re amused with Ms. Patton’s abrupt shift in attitude and tolerance from her last posting. It seems that in “PattonWorld”, young adult college students must have restrictions placed upon their liberties because they’re immature and deserving of protection. But in the bizarro realm of “PattonWorld”, unborn children in the womb are perfectly capable of fending for themselves when the forceps, clamps, scissors and vacuum tubes arrive in an attempt to dismember them.

    At this time, please recall the words of General George S. Patton (unrelated to this blogger, I’m sure): “Moral courage is the most valuable and usually the most absent characteristic in men.”

    Without additional comment, we offer Ms. Patton the lyrics called to mind by her graphic above:

    “Fly Like An Eagle”

    Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
    Into the future
    Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
    Into the future

    I want to fly like an eagle
    To the sea
    Fly like an eagle
    Let my spirit carry me
    I want to fly like an eagle
    Till I’m free
    Oh, Lord, through the revolution

    Feed the babies
    Who don’t have enough to eat
    Shoe the children
    With no shoes on their feet
    House the people
    Livin’ in the street
    Oh, oh, there’s a solution

    I want to fly like an eagle
    To the sea
    Fly like an eagle
    Let my spirit carry me
    I want to fly like an eagle
    Till I’m free
    Fly through the revolution

    Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
    Into the future
    Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
    Into the future
    Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
    Into the future
    Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
    Into the future

    I want to fly like an eagle
    To the sea
    Fly like an eagle
    Let my spirit carry me
    I want to fly like an eagle
    Till I’m free
    Fly through the revolution

    Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
    Into the future
    Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’
    Into the future

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