Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Dear Kansas lawmakers,

 

It’s day 108 of your session and you’ve managed to do something unthinkable.  No, it’s not that you’ve had the longest session in recorded Kansas history.  No, it’s not that you’ve racked up an insane amount of overtime that the Kansas taxpayers are responsible for.  No, it’s not that you’ve had more Twitter drama than the unveiling of Caitlyn Jenner- who looks totally fab.

 

You  managed….excuse me while I get choked up….to cause me to run completely out of jokes.  If you are familiar with this blog, I’ve been able to make jokes about everything including the devastating loss suffered by Paul Davis to Governor Brownback in the last election.   (Hang on a sec…I’m imagining where we would be if he would have won.) No matter how weird or painful politics gets in the state of Kansas – there is usually a joke hiding in there.  Not this time.  I’m just spent. Done.  Finished.

 

It’s such a shame, because the last few days have been ripe with comedy gold.  For example, just a few days ago  Senator Holland asked for the Chaplain to perform an exorcism on the chamber when things got heated in the tax debate.

 

That would be a perfect time for me to throw in the joke  – what happened to the Kansas lawmakers who couldn’t pay for their exorcism?  They were repossessed.

 

Instead I have nothing….

 

Then when the clock was ticking and non-essential, state employees were going to have to be furloughed Monday  –  lawmakers just changed the law and made everyone essential.  Presto! Problem solved.  When I step on the scale tomorrow – can KS lawmakers come over and just tape a new number over the scale (say around 120) so I don’t have to face the fact that I have to lose weight?

 

Now the old me, with jokes to spare, would have created an Oprah meme like this-ml5m1

 

Instead I have nothing….

 

Today  when it came down to the wire and the Senate passed a $470 million dollar tax increase, I would have been making jokes about how the Republican Senate is paying for Brownback’s failed tax policies like this…..

 

Do you hear that sound?  Yep, that silence is the sound of Sam Brownback not running for President!

 

Boom!

 

Instead, I am just sitting here writing this boring blog.  I guess we will all wait and see what happens tomorrow when the House is back in session.  Will they agree to the $470 million dollar tax increase or will this saga play on? Please for the love don’t let this continue.  I’m tell you I’m jokeless.  Let’s all wrap this up so we can enjoy some summer vacation.

 

Yours for  fixing this before I have to start collecting Social Security!

Aimee

 

 

 

 

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