Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

As news of the latest mass shooting spread across the nation, politicians were quick to spread thoughts and prayers for the victims.



We all know it’s the appropriate response to an increasing problem in this nation – mass shootings. Nothing soothes the wounds of a nation like quiet and thoughtful prayer.

Now we have an unexpected problem this nation has to face.

Our politicians are now spending all of their time in thoughts and prayers and they can’t lead the nation anymore. The problem had been building for some time. Years ago mass shootings only happened a few times a year at most – flash forward to 2015 and the number of mass shootings has exceeded the number of days in the year. Our politicians spend all of their time in prayer – nothing else gets done.

“We wanted the Congressman to draft important legislation, but all he does is pray. Since he’s said that praying is the best course of action for every mass shooting nothing else gets done,” said an anonymous staffer.
“We feel very uncomfortable interrupting him, but with all a shooting almost on a daily basis we just have to sit and wait and wait and wait. The budget needs to be addressed, jobs need to be created, but we can’t seem to get time in between shootings.”
Some would say that gun control legislation would be a more effective way to address this nation’s mass shooting problem, but instead our politicians are looking to God to solve the problem.
We’ve had previous Government shutdowns over the budget, but in the future you can expect our Government to come to a standstill while our politicians pray over mass shootings. Before they finish praying about one, there will be another one to start praying over.


5 thoughts on “Politicians Send Prayers After Mass Shootings – They Can No Longer Keep Up

  1. blogenfreude1 says:

    Thoughts and prayers cost nothing. Meaningful gun legislation might cost you your seat, but it will save lives. Act, or you are damnably to be blamed.

  2. Aimee-Did you see the N.Y. Daily News cover taking all these hand-wringing boneheaded Republicans to task? btw Keep up the good work. Wish you posted more often.

  3. P. Shuman says:

    American Professional Pundits don’t want to foster critical thinking skills. So the argument is famed into a GUNS vs. TERRORISM, or GUNS vs. PRAYERS choice. I’m a pinko-liberal-commie and I refuse that means of framing. I live in a world of colors which include black&white.

    1. Osirisopto says:

      You would think that after the three hundredth time even they would realize that prayer doesn’t help.

      This raises the question of who it really is that needs the most help dealing with their mental illness: our legislators or the people hoarding the military grade weapons?

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