Aimee Patton

A pleasantly eccentric take on politics

Today is my birthday and to celebrate I thought I would pick out my favorite state story and write about it.  Well Happy Birthday to me, because both Kansas and Missouri had two state story doozies to choose from leaving me unable to pick between the two.

So ladies and gentlemen….I give you a TIE for the birthday bombtastic stories of the day.  One from Kansas and the other from Missouri and it leaves me wondering how I manage to straddle this cray-cray state line sometimes.

How about we start with Kansas, Rep. John Bradford, R-Lansing, who decided it would be a super duper idea as a Kansas lawmaker to take to Facebook with a highly offensive meme and a post –

Rep. John Bradford, R-Lansing, shared a meme on his Facebook page depicting a mustachioed man in a sombrero and a deformed image of President Obama. The image is accompanied with this message: “MEXICAN WORDS OF THE DAY: PIZZA CHIP BELIEVING.”

6. pen and pencil set


That’s right – the bill would make lobbyists list sex in their gift list.  But don’t worry your pretty little heads, sex would not have a dollar amount listed next to it.  That would make it so cheap and wrong.

From the bill-

“For purposes of subdivision (2) of this subsection, the term ‘gift’ shall include sexual relations between a registered lobbyist and a member of the general assembly or his or her staff. Relations between married persons or between persons who entered into a relationship prior to the registration of the lobbyist, the election of the member to the general assembly, or the employment of the staff person shall not be reportable under this subdivision. The reporting of sexual relations for purposes of this subdivision shall not require a dollar valuation.”

Read more here:

If you are married, don’t fret you are exempt from the gift list.  What if you are married, but screwing around on your spouse do you have to list it?  I’m probably asking too many questions.

I do have one birthday wish, it’s for someone to send me a picture of the first gift list that actually has “sex” listed on it. I don’t ask for much people. This little gift would make my whole year.

Well a shout out to both Kansas and Missouri for making this birthday very, very memorable!




7 thoughts on “Aimee’s Best Birthday News Story – A Tie Between KS and MO

  1. mikemiller75 says:

    Thanks and Happy Birthday!

  2. Delia O' Riordan says:

    Wishing you a genuinely HAPPY Birthday, Aimee! “Nemo me impune lacessit!”

    Best regards, Delia

  3. Dave Kaup says:

    Happy B-Day Aimee. Love your writing. Keep up the good work.

  4. Stephen Johnson says:

    Happy Birthday, Aimee!

  5. BigPackage says:

    Aimee’s Best Birthday News Story

    January 8, 2016

    Today is my birthday and to celebrate I thought I would pick out a few items from my wish list and write about them. Maybe some of you would even be interested in getting me a gift….hint, hint!! Well Happy Birthday to me, because both Kansas and Missouri offer oodles of opportunities for selecting some real doozies from my birthday gift list. Happy Hunting!!

    So ladies and gentlemen….I give you my TOP TEN choices for the best birthday gifts ever!!

    1. STEAK DINNER—Hey folks, this is KC cattle country, or once was anyway.’s what’s for dinner.

    2. EDIBLE ARRANGEMENT—Let’s leave this one a bit vague, and you can use your imagination on what should and shouldn’t be dipped in chocolate!

    3. 18 HOLES OF GOLF—Woods, shafts, balls, holes in one, birdies, bogeys, eagles….oh my!

    4. CRAZY AFTERNOON OF NON-STOP SEX—self-explanatory. I’m thinking a daytrip to Climax Springs, Missouri.

    5. ALL YOU CAN EAT SUSHI BUFFET—sushi or sashimi? Since it’s a buffet let’s try a little nigirizushi, makizushi, temaki, and don’t forget the drinks! SAKE to me!

    6. PEN AND PENCIL SET—Yes, I still like to physically write. Miss Manners always stressed the value of handwritten thank you notes. Call me old-fashioned.

    7. UP-TO-DATE GPS DOWNLOADS—How I manage to straddle this cray-cray state line perplexes me sometimes.

    8. MUSTACHIOED MAN IN A SOMBRERO—the Frito Bandito holds the key to my heart!

    9. PHOTO OF ANTHONY WEINER–husband to Huma Abedin, Hillary Clinton’s chief assistant and roommate. He made a big oopsie and issued the following statement-“I did create the image, I did share it, which was in bad taste.”


    Thanks in advance, Y’all

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