The Kansas Supreme Court issued a decision this morning that found Kansas lawmakers were funding Kansas public schools at unconstitutionally low levels.
The Kansas Supreme Court decided Thursday to give the state until June 30 to enact an “equitable” school funding formula. If it doesn’t, the state’s public schools won’t open for the 2016-2017 school year, it said.
In its ruling, the court said that if the Legislature fails to have a formula in place by June 30, the court will decide that “no constituionally valid school finance system exists.”
The ruling affirms a Court of Appeals decision that the state had failed to correct constitutional inequities in the state’s school funding system. The three-judge appeals panel said the state’s block grant system had shorted public schools by $54 million.
“Without a constitutionally equitable school finance system, the schools in Kansas will be unable to operate beyond June 30,” the Supreme Court court said.
The Kansas lawmakers were quick to respond and will soon roll out their new funding formula. Instead of the Block Grant Formula they have been currently using, they will be unveiling their Xanax-Popping Formula this spring.
“The Xanax-Popping Formula is simple really. The math problem we use to determine what districts get funding is so complex that it forces the reader to have to use a Xanax to calm down their brain. It is beyond interpretation and therefore can’t be found to be unconstitutional,” said an anonymous lawmaker.
Lawmakers were confident that the courts could not interpret the new funding formula, because of the complexity and the need for Xanax. There would be no issues going forward.
Lawmakers aren’t concerned about the June 30th deadline, because the Xanax-Popping Formula has been in the works for some time. Lawmakers are relieved to roll out this new formula. Ultimately, even with this new formula, funding will remain the same-unconstitutionally low.
The distribution of Xanax to teachers and parents to tolerate the new formula will take place when Girl Scout cookies are delivered this spring.